"Um... hello hello? Uh... if you're hearing this, chances are you just made a very poor career choice.", the Phone Guy said. "However, if you will follow a couple of simple rules, everything will go smoothly like a walk in a park. Uh... I used to record those messages, but after the previous guy... uh... 'left', the superiors told me to be a little bit more specific about the instructions. It's uh... it's sort of my job now. Yeah... so, uh... first of all, there's the uh... the introductory greeting from the company that I have to read. It's kind of a legal thing, you know?"
"Go ahead, skinny boy. Name's TJ.", the new security guard said.
"Um... okay, TJ. So... 'Welcome to Freddy Fazbear's Pizza. A magical place for kids and grown-ups alike, where fantasy and fun come to life. Fazbear Entertainment is not responsible for damage to property or person...'"
"Imma damage your freaking property if you won't make it quick, dawg.", TJ said while loosing up his tie. He wasn't very strict about his work uniform.
"Uh... oh... o-okay. So, you see, the animatronic characters that belong to the restaurant tend to... they tend to wander around a bit..."
"My D tends to wander around yo mama's bedsheets, ya know nameen?"
"... there's no danger, bye.", the Phone Guy said and hanged up.
"Pfff. 'A magical place for dumb teenagers to bang after hours'.", TJ said, mimicking Phone Guy's voice. "Man, that's a shiny-ass tablet.", he said and looked on the screen.
He checked the Show Stage, seeing the three animatronics looking at him.
"... and that's a fancy-ass hat, Freddy."
He looked at the East Hall, Dining Area and Supply Closet. He then switched back to the Stage, noticing that the yellow and purple ones were gone.
"Whoa, what the fuck?!", TJ said, startled. He looked at the sticky card on his desk, which had the number on it. He dialed the number on the phone and waited.
"Hello?"
"Yo man, cut this bullshit. I know you moved the duck-fuck and that other thing."
"Uh... duck? Oh, you mean Chica the Chicken? And... what other thing?", Phone Guy asked with confusion.
"Man, I'm really sorry about yo mom.", TJ said. "I'm sure she's a decent woman and all. Although, seeing that you work in a fucked up place like this, she might've screwed some things up..."
"Goodbye..."
"No, wait! Man, just, please, stop moving them! I dunno if they work on a remote or whateva, but... just stop moving them. They creep me the fuck out. Especially the duck-fuck."
"Uh... TJ, I-I-I'm not moving them. They are left in the free-roaming mode for the night. Listen, just... just check your cameras, close the doors if necessary..."
"They're all freakin' gone, man!"
"Close the doors, now!", the Phone Guy yelled.
TJ closed the doors on the right, but when he was about to close the ones on the left, something stepped into the office. The purple one almost entered the room, but TJ pressed the button nevertheless. Heavy, metal door fell down onto Bonnie, pinning him down to the floor.
"TJ! What on Earth is going on there?!"
"There was no fucking mention of this in the newspaper, dude! There's a fucking metal monster stuck in the doorway!"
"Listen, just... just... just push him out of the office, okay? And remember, don't damage him..."
TJ started frantically kicking the poor animatronic, getting him out of the office.
"You didn't mention fucking psycho-bears trying to bite my fucking ass off!", the night guard yelled, hiding under his desk.
"Listen, they won't try to eat you.", Phone Guy said.
"Hey.", TJ said and opened the doors. "That's good."
"They might be a threat to you nevertheless."
"Oh.", TJ said and closed them again.
"If they do find you, they will simply try to place you into a suit."
"That's good."
"But the suits are full of wires and mechanisms, especially around the facial area."
"Can I go home?", TJ asked.
"Uh, sorry, but no. I mean, technically, you could, but..."
"I'm outta here!"
"... Fazbear Entertainment could sue you for not fulfiling your part of the contract and charge you for all the property damage that took place as the result of..."
"I get it, I fucking get it.", TJ said and sighed. "Okay, so I close the doors for the night and I'm safe, aight?"
"Actually, the power is limited because of...", Phone Guy said and was suddenly interrupted when the power went out. The doors were raised and the lights went out.
"Who would do this for the fucking minimal wage?!", TJ yelled. Despite the darkness, he managed to reach the drawer of his desk and get the flashlight. "Fucking psycho-bears and this fucking phone dude. I bet he's getting his ass all warmed up, sitting by a chimney, drinking some hot chocolate and shit..."
"God, you'd better be fine.", Phone Guy muttered, driving like crazy. He had to reach the pizzeria in time.
When he was finally there, he got out of the car and opened the back door with his keys.
"Um... hello? Hello hello? Is... is anyone there?"
"DIE, you fucking psycho-bear!", TJ yelled and started beating the Phone Guy with his flashlight.
"Ouch! TJ, damn, stop it!"
"Phone Dude? It's you? Man, I'm so fucking glad to see you!"
"Yeah, yeah, sure.", Phone Guy said. "That's nice, but I'm not here for you."
"What?! Whaddya mean you're not here for me?!"
Without a word, Phone Guy went to the Pirate Cove, with TJ quietly following him.
"I hope Foxy's okay."
"WHAT?! You're here for one of those fucking psycho-bears?!"
"He's not a bear, he's a fox.", Phone Guy said. "And he happens to be my favourite."
"Man, fuck you!", TJ said.
The Phone Guy checked the stage behind the curtain.
"He's not here.", he said.
Foxy the Pirate Fox ran through the corridor and finally reached the office, letting out a terrifying scream.
The empty chair must've been pretty scared.
"Dude, we gotta do something! Those fucking bears or whateva are out there."
"Don't worry TJ, everything will be fine as long as we follow a simple set of rules.", the Phone Guy said. "I remember all of them, so we're good."
"Okay dude, bring it on."
"First of all, there's the introductory greeting from the company..."
TJ's stare was more meaningful than any words.
"... which we can skip due to practical reasons. And then, uh... let's see... the power generator runs on gasoline and can be reactivated, however, the company keeps the gasoline canisters locked up due to other practical reasons."
"Man, we're fucked."
"Not really. We can take the empty canister that was left in the generator room and fill it with gasoline from my car."
"Man, if you could open these fucking doors, and you have a car, then why would we stay here any longer?!"
"Well, the amount of property damage itself would cost us fortune, which doesn't even include..."
"Oh, shit, nigga..."
"Hey, I know this sounds bad, but...", the Phone Guy said, but TJ's terrified face was enough to attract his attention. He looked behind him and noticed a pair of white irises in the darkness.
"TJ, calm down.", the Phone Guy said. "Stay still, maybe it won't notice us."
TJ placed his hand on the other man's back.
"Sorry, Phone Dude."
Before he could even react, Phone Guy was pushed forward and fell on the ground.
"Eat HIS butthole, you fucking psycho-bear!"
"Ouch...", Phone Guy muttered. He looked up and noticed Freddy, staring at him. Before he could do anything, a pair of metal hands grabbed him by the arms and the animatronic started his way to the Backstage.
TJ was running through the corridors, using his flashlight to find the generator room.
"Fucking Phone Dude. Could've tell me right away about the psycho-bears... well... he sorta did... yo mama jokes were too good, though.", he muttered to himself. "It's his own fucking fault. He could've brought a fucking machine gun with him. Who the fuck would come to this place after hours without a fucking machine gun?!"
Nevertheless, that barely existing part of him called "conscience" woke up, telling him to go back.
"Fuck... fuck, fuck, fuck me.", he said and, after adjusting his cap, went back to the Pirate Cove.
Freddy didn't seem to hurry. It might've been due to him being deactivated the previous night for some repairs. Phone Guy tried to struggle, but animatronic's metal hands were sure as hands of the craftsman working with his tools.
"All the things I could've done...", he whined. "I always wanted to become the superior french fry distributor... always wanted to have a family. I would take them here and show them Foxy's show... although, considering the amount of children's murders associated with the company, it might've been a bad idea..."
Freddy reached the backstage. There was an empty Bonnie's suit, laying on the table. The animatronic took the mask from the shelf.
"Good night, muthafucka!"
Suddenly, something hit Freddy in the head. The animatronic let go of his previous target and now looked at TJ instead.
"C'mon, you fucking Fuckbear!"
Freddy just stared at TJ curiously for a second.
"Flash him in the eyes!", Phone Guy yelled.
"No dude, I ain't doing this shit. And saggin' doesn't count.", TJ answered.
"With your flashlight!"
TJ did exactly that, flashing the light into Freddy's eyes. Freddy twitched for a moment, only to return to staring at TJ.
Phone Guy stood up and said "Come on, we gotta go!"
"What? Why didn't you fucking tell me that you can fucking turn them off with lights?!"
"Because he's not turned off. They get confused by bright lights, but we gotta go. NOW."
TJ flashed into animatronic's eyes a couple more times and they started running, trying to find the generator room in the darkness.
"Man, this flashlight's barely working!", TJ said. "Why is everything so crappy at this place?!"
"We had some serious budget cuts!", Phone Guy answered, realising that Freddy started following them again. "We had to replace toys that come with the meals with toothpicks."
"Man, that's the room!", TJ said and flashed the light on the door with the "generator room" written on it. "Thank you, baby Jesus!", he said and kicked the door down.
"... I have the keys.", Phone Guy said quietly as they entered the room. They noticed the empty jerry can standing next to the generator.
TJ grabbed the canister.
"Lead to your ride, dude."
"Okay, we have to be careful. Maybe..."
Suddenly, they heard heavy, metal steps. A yellow silhoutte appeared in the doorway.
"The duck-fuck.", TJ muttered.
Chica was staring at them. Her voice-box must've been malfunctioning, she was omitting weird, human-like noises.
TJ flashed the light into animatronic's eyes and pushed her, knocking her down on the floor.
"No!", Phone Guy shouted. "You can't damage them! Do you have any idea how expensive it is to repair them?! The lawsuits against us will go through the roof!"
"And their fucking psycho-skeletons will go right up your ass if you won't move.", the night guard answered. "We gotta find your ride, dude."
"Okay, just... just don't break anything anymore."
They managed to reach the entrance unnoticed and soon they were in the parking lot.
"That's the one.", Phone Guy said and pointed at his pickup.
"Man, it's not the miracle of automobiles, lemme tell you that.", TJ commented.
"Very funny."
"Oh, shit.", TJ said and suddenly got pale.
"What?"
"There was no rubber hose in that generator room. We can't get the gasoline."
"Don't worry, I got a hose on the backseat.", Phone Guy said and started looking for his keys.
"Man, you're a life-saver. Sorry about leaving you behind, dude.", TJ said.
"It's okay. Sorry for... being more concerned about Foxy than you."
"Man, when we get out, Imma get us both a shitload of booze!", TJ said merrily.
The Phone Guy got pale.
"What?", the night guard asked.
"I... I don't have my keys."
"Imma smack your skull in if we get out."
"I must've dropped them when I fell on the floor. Or should I say, when someone pushed me on the floor.", Phone Guy said and sent TJ a distinctive stare.
The other man sighed. "Okay, I get it. What we're gonna do?"
"Can you... can you open the car?"
"Oh, hell no you didn't say that!", TJ said, really angry and upset. "Just because I'm black it means I know how to jack a freakin' car?"
"I... uh... I didn't mean-"
"Outta my way.", TJ said and pulled a lockpick out of his pocket. "Fucking racist asshole. You couldn't have fucking known that."
TJ opened the door and grabbed the hose from the back seat.
"We gotta pump the juice out. Start sucking.", the night guard said.
"What?!"
"The gas. We gotta pump the gasoline out, so you gotta suck the hose. The gas will come out and then we're good. Got it?", TJ asked.
"Uh... sure. Can't be worse than our pizza."
"Oh, c'mon, man, you've been doing this for like, 5 minutes now!", TJ said to his puking companion.
"Never again...", Phone Guy muttered, spitting the few drops of gasoline that were in his mouth. "But we got the gas."
"Now the hard part.", TJ said and helped the other man stand up.
The returned to the building and reached the generator room, noticing that Chica was gone. They stopped for a moment, listening to the metal steps that could be heard in the distance. Realising that the source of the steps was getting further and further away, they entered the room and poured the gasoline into the generator. The Phone Guy grabbed the machine's handle, attatched to a string, and pulled it. The machine made a quiet noise, but it didn't turn on. He tried again, with no results. He tried a couple times again before finally giving up. TJ also tried, angrily cursing at the machine, only to give up after several tries.
"Damn... damn, damn...", Phone Guy muttered.
"This shit's broken. Great, fucking great.", TJ said. His flashlight went out. "Fuck."
In the distance, a faint music could be heard. Freddy was coming.
They both sat on the ground, pressing their backs against the generator.
"Man... if we're gonna die here... I mean, we will die for sure, but... ah, fuck it. My name's Tyreese. Tyreese Johnson.", he said. The other man smiled.
"I'm..."
The sound of steps interrupted him. Freddy appeared in the doorway, letting out his laughter. The animatronic's face was visible in the darkness.
Phone Guy and Tyreese closed their eyes and clenched their fists, preparing for...
6 am.
Freddy stopped. The lights went on, powered by the city's power supply.
The manager appeared behind Freddy, moving him out of the way.
"What are you two doing here, for Christ's sake? And what the hell happened to those doors? Why's Foxy sitting in the night guard's office? Is this some kind of a joke? Oh, I'm gonna make some major cuts to your salary, that's to be sure.", he said with disapproval.
The two men started laughing like maniacs, making their boss confused like never before.