I've thought of death so much it doesn't even faze me...
It's not thoughts of suicide like you'd expect instead it's a morbid fascination of how it's gonna get to me.
Will it be in my sleep or will come at me at a hundred miles an hour?
Do I fight it or simply cower?
I don't know.
Cause was I dead before I even knew it happened...
I've thought of reincarnation so much that people will call me crazy.
Not that I don't believe in heaven but the thought really intrigues me.
Who was I before? Who will the future me be?
Will I live in the world I lived in before or somewhere else entirely?
I'm not sure.
Cause I never thought that preincarnation can happen...
Death is... well, it's more complicated than you think.
It's fast but at the same time slow.
It's both under and overwhelming.
It drains you yet you feel something filling up inside of you.
You become heavy but you feel light.
You feel pain and also feel numb.
Your mind doesn't think of anything but it's also filled to the brim with everything.
Death is just confusing. I'm not even sure how I died.
All that I know was that I heard an explosion then I felt a sharp pain behind me and then my vision began to fade to black as everything around me seemed to go in slow-motion.
I'm not sure if a generator blew up or if there was a terrorist attack, I don't even know if it was the explosion that killed me or just a piece of debris that was lucky enough to hit a bullseye. All that I knew was that I was falling forward, I felt extremely uncomfortable and my vision's getting awfully dark.
And then there was pitch blackness.
Do you know that moment before you really fall asleep? When you're thinking of nothing and just waiting for your conscience to fade.
That is what death is like after it happens.
I don't know how long I was there. I wasn't thinking of anything, I didn't hear anything, I didn't see anything. Just that low-key expectation that I'll fade into dream land. That never happened.
Cause I woke up.