This is it! Naruto's Orphanage! Please enjoy Chapter 1: Getting There!

Summary: Team 7 are at an orphanage on one of their rest days. The reason? Naruto! Why? I don't know! :D

Warnings: This is going to be updated really, really, sllooowwwwwlllllyyyy. And when I say slow, I mean slower than a snail slow, (and definitely slower than your grandma can drive slow) because juggling two fictions (actually several really) is much too much for incompetence like me to bear. So get out your sleeping bags and prepare for a long wait if you get hooked.

Disclaimer: If I own Naruto, his current canon kids won't exist. (If they did, they'd at least get better names, because seriously. Boruto!? What kinda hecka ugly name is that?! I want to pull all my hair out in sheer frustration every time I think about it!)

Rating: 'T' language wise, but maybe an 'M' for thought process. Hur hur.

...

'Naruto is late... Why the hell is he late? That's Kakashi sensei's role and the lazy bastard is still doing an unfortunately remarkable job at it.. And what's worse, Sasuke isn't here either. How the hell can I scold them if even he is late?! Goddammit! These people have no respect for the only girl on their team! None I tell you! Nix! Nada! Niente! Why did I agree to this in the first place?! I'm a girl! How am I not resistant to Naruto's puppy dog eyes?! It's Naruto dammit!

I swear... When I get my hands on those lazy bastards... I'll do XXX and YYY to them and when I'm done, I'll ZZZ them... Let's see if they ever dare to pull this shit on me again...'

A certain silver haired scarecrow teacher sat on his lovely tree branch with his trademark orange 'educational material' flipped open to a random page, casually averting his eyes away from the scene that was Inner Sakura having a field day out in the toasty warm sunshine of sunny Konoha, raising a rather formidable dust cloud with her constant pacing about.

Yes, sure he could have made her feel a little less annoyed and fatally irritated by showing up before the two boys, but... Well gee. He had good, working eyes, and he could see the growing aura of doom and malice surrounding that petite frame. So like hell he was going to go down there without the usual punching ba- err, substitutes!- to bear the brunt of the violent Kunoichi's anger, especially not while he could hear a creepy "Ku ku ku..." sound that was everything foreboding and vindictive.

About a minute before he calculated Sakura's special effect would have broken the previous record of animosity set during that one time he was slightly late on taking the brats to their first ever beach trip, the sound of familiar footsteps and voices raised in some new argument reaches his ears and lazy grey eyes glance up to see his precious students -cough meat shields cough- walk into view. Kakashi snorts quietly (let's not get heard now while Sakura is still in rampage mode) and returns to the printed words.

Two loud thuds and twin yelps of pain (one softer than the other) later, he finally holds up his fingers to active the body flicker technique and appears before his chunins with a puff of smoke and a half moon grin.

"Hi kids, I got late helping a poor old granny cross the road~"

There are no kunai or shuriken thrown at him this time, (no reaction even to the terribad excuse) so he opens an eye to admire the new heads Sakura has given both boys. (Naruto is hunched over on the ground like always, clutching at the swollen bump while Sasuke bears his pain with a little more dignity, staying on his feet and barely refraining from touching the equally large hump protruding from the middle of his duck butt do.) The girl stands behind them, grimly satisfied, if the warning glint in those evil green eyes weren't clues enough.

She clasps her hands together a minute later, fingers lacing as she beams at them so widely her eyes shut. If one didn't know about the existence of Inner Sakura within her, or the fact that she was a capable chunin with fists of steel and a growing talent for medical work, one might have even suspected her of being a regular civilian girl, so sweet did she appear in her pink off-shoulder top and black shorts.

"Since we're all here now, shall we get moving?" She sing songs as Sasuke helps their guide up into a standing position despite the still prominent swelling that is ruining the taller boy's otherwise cool exterior. Dark colors really seemed to suit the self-proclaimed avenger, whose pale skin made for a brilliant contrast with his simple navy shirt and black jeans. (Uchiha clan symbol still making a small appearance on the boy's left breast pocket.)

Naruto accepts the hand that hauls him back on his feet, his own still vigorously rubbing at the magnificent hump that spans a perfect 3 inches in diameter across a quarter of his head. He hides a grumble at the rough handling, dusts off the burnt orange shirt with a center swirl and hoists his backpack up, cradling it to his side like he's hugging a precious child. "Yes, yes."

Uzumaki leads them into the vast forestry surrounding their home, taking the dirt path with his civilian sandals kicking up dust behind. (The amount of which increases when Sakura accuses him of dirtying her with his dislodged clouds and chases after in an almost impressively, murderous rage.)

Sasuke snorts, seeing no reason to save the boy because Sakura is just 'having fun' in her own way and he has learnt by now that if he does disturbs their little 'game', he is going to get pulled into it. So, heck no. It's a rest day, a long overdue vacation, and even he has his lazy days when he doesn't feel like running. Thus, the somehow still pale boy stays right where he is, several paces away from their perverted teacher who somehow sees reason to continue wearing his uniform even though they are only going on an excursion of sorts to some place a stone's throw away from Konoha according to the wishes of their blond teammate.

(Sasuke hates himself after his 'unconscious-from-extreme-feelings-of-today-I-don't-feel-like-doing-anything~' brain strays down a really weird and traumatizing rabbit hole while on the road of 'Does Sensei even have other clothes?' and gawd! Foul mental imagery of naked Kakashi be gone! UGHH!

If Kakashi doesn't understand why the dark haired preteen shoots him a look caught between 'oh-dear-god-please-kill-me-now' and 'you-are-one-sick-sick-bastard-and-I-will-maim-you-the-moment-I-don't-feel-like-puking-while-looking-at-you' out of the corner of stiff black silts before deliberately increasing his pace, such that he almost gets caught between Naruto and (mainly) Sakura's 'therapy session', it's too bad, because Sasuke sure as hell ain't never telling him. Like. Ever.

The kid is in a really bad place now. The Sharingan had effectively sealed that horror story right into his long term memory banks, along with the rest of his jutsus and obligations and rants and grocery lists of tomatoes. When he tries to pull his mind off it by admiring the rich abundance of green and brown around them, he is instantly body slammed by an even more retina burning picture of Team Gai's teacher. In a tight pair of green speedos. That (unfortunately) left nothing to the imagination. Caught up in a passionate, manly contest of something. With Kakashi. Who. Was. Naked.

If life was an anime, Sasuke's eyes would be bleeding from the heavy internal damage dealt by his stupid, twat of a brain.

Sasuke would like a new one who wasn't so rebellious.

Does anyone want to trade?

How about a donation?

Anyone?

He'll even throw in a free bowl of tomato salad!

Anyone...?)

'A stone's throw away huh? The boy was certainly accurate, assuming said stone was flung by either Sakura at full strength or Tsunade at a third.' Kakashi glanced about discreetly over the top of his Naruto colored book, distantly uneasy for somehow not recognizing this part of the woods despite having trained in Konoha forest long enough to have a fairly reliable mind-map of the place.

They'd taken to the trees somewhere along the way after Sakura had finally worn out her explosive emotions, and the speed at which they bounced off branches or pushed off from sturdy trunks sent the wind combing through their hair in a very pleasant contrast to the inherent humidity that weighed down both their clothes and spirits when combined with the relentless power of the morning sun (only sure to get worse as the day progressed).

Although they'd been heading generally north up till now, Naruto had begun to steadily tilt to the right at an almost unnoticeable rate of ten degrees thereabouts every five bounds. Kakashi calculated that by now, Team 7 could more accurately be said to be moving north-east of Konoha forest, but where exactly?

Then, a whisper of almost foreign chakra catches his attention, so slight that he almost misses it and had to focus a bit to grasp it back, for the somewhat familiar, feather light impression seemed to dance about, as if it were alive and teasing him. Caught against his own, it bears a dream like quality suggestive of a genjutsu and also the sturdier hint of a barrier jutsu, both feelings so strong that the more hypnotic and veil thin sensation of a hidden message seal is almost ignored as it slides silky soft over his senses.

'Ignore, move on, there's nothing to see here.' The compelling command is spoken to his heart, but now that he knows of it, the effect of is diminished. It is now more of a clue and guide to the secret it protects, rather than the protection he can feel it is designed to be. It makes him fairly curious to know what's on the other end of the line, because the entire set up seems deceivingly simple though it is anything but and he would have poofed away from the kids for a moment to investigate this interesting anomaly if he hadn't noticed how Naruto seems to be following the invisible thread himself, though his teammates appeared to have been unable to realize there was anything wrong there.

This odd occurrence, feeling that there was something Naruto knew that the team didn't, is what makes him stick on path, because hey, Naruto seems to be leading them right towards the big secret anyway. No need to get ahead of himself here.

As they say, good things come to those who wait.

Sakura would like to pretend that she was bothered by the seemingly long journey, but she really wasn't. It was only typical after all, that everyone had to travel like, a kilometer minimally (if they were lucky) just to get to any residences or business establishments outside of a hidden village, particularly if the community wasn't full of shinobi, because who would want to build a home near a place that could and would potentially blow up in the face of chakra backlash from failed jutsus or really powerful ones, or to get in the way of people training with sharp and dangerous knives and swords and throwing stars like they were mere toys and everyday instruments?

That was just suicidal and stupid. Utterly, utterly stupid.

(If the medical bills alone aren't bad enough, what about the cost of rebuilding and refurnishing your home? Ouch!)

Still... Her teammate's path was starting to bother her.

No, it wasn't the choice of route, they loved bouncing on trees as much as the next shinobi did.

It ain't the direction either, because she had no idea where the hell they were heading to so one way was as good as the next to her.

Yes, it was the increasingly foreboding sensation of being watched, of going where she was not wanted that made her hesitate a nanosecond longer on every branch before pushing off again.

Weren't they supposed to be on vacation? That usually entailed a lack of fighting or regular ninja-esque challenges. It also meant no entry into dangerous places that made her whole body twitchy with repressed anxiety. Just where was he taking them?

She almost jumps out of her skin when she feels the pleasant afternoon wind chill of Naruto's chakra settling around her like an airy shawl, somehow there yet not quite at the same time and suddenly, there's relief and comfort taking the place of growing apprehension in her, a whispered chant of 'safe, warm, everything is going to be okay' now enshrouding her.

'It's nice.' She thinks and her lips curve into a relaxed smile. 'That's right, Naruto's here. He's guiding us. He won't ever let us get hurt. It's okay. I can always trust him.'

Then Naruto leaves the air route in favor of hopping down onto a patch of land that bears no differences to any of the other areas they've passed by on the way to wherever they were supposed to be heading to and Inner Sakura goes 'where the hell are we? Is Naruto lost?!'

Regardless, the rest of Team 7 drop down beside him and stare in curiosity as he grins, tugging at the straps around his shoulders. "Come on, it's only a few more steps in front now." He points ahead with a still smooth finger that Sakura envies as much as she wonders at because they are ninjas. Callouses and scars are only natural in a line of work that forces one to deal with weaponry and chakra. Naruto practices as much and as hard as the next chunin, she knows this for a fact, but somehow managed to still keep his pretty, pretty fingers. How?!

Accurately enough, even though where Naruto had been pointing at just appeared to be another clump of trees, more thickly growing and clustered then the rest, when they emerged from the small-ish tunnel, the team now found themselves standing in what appeared to be a large clearing, with a rather run down building two stories tall and several rooms wide positioned almost in the center. Curiously enough, a brilliant patch of summer blue spread out above, although everyone could have sworn that the trees there were so densely grown that they'd covered the skies like giant green roofs.

"Naruto, where are we?"

The boy only looked to her with those distractingly clear sapphires, smiled a little smile and turned back to the scenery.

"Come on, we have to go pay our respects to the owner!"

He bounces away as energetic as you'd please, bee lining for the once bright front door of the structure and raps on the weather worn maroon with a familiar hand. "Hey! I'm back!"

Hanging back, his teammates watch as there is a bright yelp, followed by some excited chattering sounds and thumps of feet against wooden boards. The door swings outwards with great force and somehow misses the boy in orange and black, who is now laughing happily as he is surrounded by three kids, who wear mismatched clothes, hair that has given up pretending to be stylish and grins no less delighted than their target.

'They're probably no older than six or seven,' Sakura gauges from their height, all roughly shorter even than Konohamaru. 'Orphans,' she thinks, because all of them have startlingly different features and look just this side of thin despite being obviously cared for. Plus, it's hard to not be able to tell apart traditional Konoha clan colouring from everywhere else. No one in Konoha had naturally blue hair, or red for that matter.

As if drawn by the sounds, a new figure makes an appearance in the doorway. A woman, adult angular face and willowy frame almost shadowed by the crazy shock of frizzy ruby red curls she wears. Curls! No one she'd seen had ever worn curls in their hair!

(Sakura gapes unashamedly at the untamed locks, Kakashi stares from behind his pervy book and even Sasuke is interested despite his feigned indifference.

"Rude." The new arrival chimes, laughing a laugh that's almost husky and insanely appealing in a wood smoke kind of way. Out of the trio, Kakashi is the only one who doesn't have the decency to blush or be ashamed.)

"Tarimuki~" Naruto chirps, caught between three small bodies who cling to his hands and tug at his shirt, all vying for attention from the kid friendly bolt of sunshine.

"Naru-kun. Did you bring what I asked for?" She smiles with her eyes, twin pools of beautiful honey brown in a healthily slender face. The boy nods, pacifies the little rascals around him and lets two of them ('maybe twins' Sakura judges from their similarly too dark skin and wide black eyes) handle the knapsack he'd protected like it was invaluable on the way there. The duo receives the bag with twin grunts of effort but manage to cover a short distance inside the structure where she assumes a table would be, with the runt of the lot chasing after and babbling in excited, incomprehensible something.

The woman ('named Tarimuki... Who the hell would call their child that?! It doesn't make any sense!' rude Inner Sakura complains) waits until the little scamps from before rushes back outside with beaming exultations of "he did it!" before she next acknowledges the existence of Naruto's teammates. "Kids, shall we be good hosts and bring Naru-nii and his friends inside?"

There are cries of "yeah!" and "uh huh!" and a suspiciously small "but I dun wanna leave Nar-nii..." as the children attach themselves to the guests. (Or at least they tried. Sasuke Uchiha was too much of a bastard for the little blue haired child to lead. The poor boy attempted to grab on to the older boy's pale hand and lead him inwards, but was too intimidated by the cold stare steadily leveled at him and so, just ran off ahead with a strange poker face.

Sasuke got glared at by Naruto for that and would later be dragged off for an unwanted lecture on how to not be so much of a bastard to innocent little children who were only trying to be nice to his undeserving, bastardly ass.

If he showed improvement in temperament and behavior afterwards, it's mostly because he is a gentleman and not because Naruto the chef (shocker that) just threatened to leave out all traces of tomatoes in his meals. No, it's because Sasuke is a man and that means that he is man enough (and smart enough) to admit that Naruto had just laid out a very effective trap for him, because:

1. He is too polite and dignified (and proud) to steal the tomatoes.

2. He is too lazy to 'poof' back to Konoha just for some tasty tomatoes.

3. He likes tomatoes. A lot.

So yes, Sasuke Uchiha is man enough to admit that if he wanted to have his favorites on his plate, he'd have to play nice with the brats because Naruto Uzumaki had very easily targeted all his weak spots.

Damn dobe...)