The heart

The morning breeze felt cold against Kaoru's face as she stood at the open window gazing outside. The scent of the early morning air wafted towards her, but she paid little mind to it. Her eyes were focused on the closed dojo gates, the twin pools of blue shining with longing and hope.

She knew that it was foolish of her, but she hoped that those doors would suddenly open and he would walk in…

The young Kamiya cut herself off, before she could continue any further with that line of thought. Furiously she turned away from the window. The movement was so sudden that it sent her long dark hair that was down from its usual ponytail, swirling around her almost resembling a dark halo.

An angry scowl was settled on her face, while her usually deep indigo eyes, now almost navy blue in color flashed dangerously as she tried to push away the burning feeling of hate and anger that seemed to suffocate her.

She found herself almost hungrily embracing the anger and hate in hopes to drown out the overwhelming sorrow that she could not bear.

Kenshin had left again…

The blue eyed young woman wondered how many times she would have to see him leave. How many times she would have to question if he would return safely back to her? How many times she would make the same mistake again of loving him?

She unconsciously fisted her hands at her side, hoping that such a mundane action could calm the raging emotions within her.

Yet it was proven useless as those dark sentiments only seemed to grow stronger and more demanding with each taken breath.

Kaoru clenched her jaw tightly, teeth grinding on teeth, causing the momentarily pain to ease some of the tension from her body…but not enough to be able to accept that Kenshin had once again left.

The dark haired beauty wanted to scream and shout at him to stay, but she couldn't. She wished that she could hate him for leaving her again, but she was unable. She yearned for him to stay with her and forget about the stupid mission or his duty to their homeland, but she was not capable.

Why?

Because she was afraid of loosing him, even if in a sense she never really had him to begin with.

She had understood this...the moment she had found out about Tomoe, his dead wife. She was the one that haunted the red haired man's soul and she was also the only person that held his heart.

She lowered her head in shame, shoulders slumping in defeat, while her long dark bangs covered her eyes, the windows to her broken soul. All the previous anger and hate seemed to dissipate, leaving only the broken shell of the once proud young woman behind.

She felt the tears slide along her cheeks, but she refused to acknowledge them, for she had promised herself that she would not cry for him…ever again.

And yet those salty crystalline tears were a testament of her now broken vow.

So many promises she has made to herself and not even one, she was able to keep. She had sworn to herself that she would not love him, not after he had left her time and time again.

But her heart…her own heart betrayed her.

She absentmindedly placed her hand on her chest just where that traitorous organ thumped. The beat was steady almost taunting her, making her fingers unconsciously dig into the soft flesh of her chest. She didn't feel the pain of her dull nails almost breaking the skin, no she felt nothing…nothing all, for she was numb and yet…she could still feel the steady beat of her heart.

At the moment she wished that she could be able to rip that organ out and with it the feelings it carried for Kenshin, but she knew that she could never do that, for she would always love him.

She would always love Kenshin and she would always wait for him as long as she was alive.

Raising her face to the ceiling a wry smile appeared on her lips as the tears finally stopped.

"You will always keep betraying me, won't you?" she asked softly.

And as the birds chirped outside, she got her answer as her heart thumped soft and sturdy below her fingers, assuring her that she would always wait for Kenshin just like she would always love him.

END……

Just changeda few things and decided to post it once again. Even if it's a sad piece I still love it.