For My Friend, Jo.
Maybe you and I we're never meant to be complete
Could we just be broken together
If you can bring your shattered dreams and I'll bring mine
Could healing still be spoken and save us
The only way we'll last forever is broken together
Dean was sitting at the kitchen table staring out the window. It was a rainy summer day. Neighborhood kids were playing out in the puddles, splashing water at each other and laughing. Dean could only watch them for so long before his eyes would trail back to his own front porch where a sad blonde woman was seated, letting the rain fall on her and mask her tears. Tears she would never be able to hide from Dean. He knew that face, the way her shouldered shook slightly as she tried to hold back sobs. She had one hand on her mouth as she tried to control the pain and the other arm held close, like she was trying to hug herself.
Dean wanted nothing more than to go to her and wrap her in his arms but he had done this to her. He had broken her heart, broken his promise. After five years of supposedly 'having it together' he'd messed up big time. And the fact that she'd found out from someone else instead of him only made it worse. She'd yelled at him and they'd probably gone at it for a whole fifteen minutes. Throwing things, screaming, crying until she ended up admitting to one of Dean's worst fears. She wasn't sure she'd ever loved him. And had been silently been considering calling things off if he ever did anything stupid. Now he'd definitely done something stupid but he wasn't ready to lose her. Not Jo. After everything else he didn't want to lose her too.
He took a deep breath and ran a hand over his face as he stood and began to pace. Had he really been gone that much that she started to doubt her love for him and his love for her? How lonely had she been? How much had he failed? All he knew was that it was going to take more than a simple 'I'm sorry' to fix this. Because he was broken. God was he broken and he knew it. And he had broken her as well.
He put his head in his hands. Why? After five years why would he even consider another woman? But he had, and he'd done more than consider her. He'd been weak that night and angry with Jo. Too many drinks and a cute brunette later, he'd made the worst mistake of his life. He wanted to die. He couldn't live without Jo. He needed her, he wanted to be with her but he'd messed up and she'd never accept him now.
Dean sat back down at the table and closed his eyes, ready to give in and just let her leave. She deserved better, a lot better. His hope was gone and his heart shattered. Dean was so lost in thought, beating himself up internally that he didn't hear the creak of the front door or the sound of footsteps approaching the kitchen. He didn't notice anything different until the chair beside him scooted away from the table and the petite blonde took a seat beside him. Dean tore his eyes away from the table and looked at her. Her beautiful brown eyes were sad and puffy. Just looking at her hurt, but he deserved it. What he didn't know was his eyes were equally as sad if not worse.
They sat there in silence for a minute, maybe two. Green eyes searching brown for answers. When Dean couldn't stand it anymore, he looked away from her and down at his hands which were dry and cracking. His eyes slid closed and he clenched his jaw and then something soft and smooth brushed against his skin. He opened his eyes and looked down to find her hand grasping his. He looked up at her and met her eyes once more, a sad smile appearing on her face.
In that moment the walls came crashing down and Jo wrapped him in her arms. He held her tightly and kissed her cheek several times before whispering in her ear "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you know I love you. More than anything. God I'm so sorry."
"Shhhhh." She comforted and rubbed his back "I forgive you. We can get through this."
"I love you." He repeated, body shaking as emotion filled his entire form from head to toes.
"I love you too." She returned, "And I always will."