The pain in his chest from the blade was no where near close to the stab of pain he felt when he heard Izzy scream as his body went numb, head smacking against the concrete as he went down.
Alec was in the dark. And it wasn't the kind of dark that came with a room that didn't have any lights on or when you were walking around at night in the country. This was not even the kind you got when you shut your eyes and wrapped your head in a blanket. This was the one that seeped in through your skin and filled the spaces between your molecules, the one that polluted your flesh into a permanent state of rotting, the one that wiped clean your past and your future, suspending you in a choking, adhesive solution of sorrow and despair. He was not alone in this horrible prison.
As he writhed in the weightless void, others did the same, their voices mixing with his own as pleas escaped from cracked lips and the endless begging for mercy rose and fell like the breathing of a great beast. From time to time, he was chosen for special attention, clawed monsters with fanged maws latching on, yanking and pulling. The wounds they imparted always healed as quickly as they were wrought, providing an ever-fresh canvas for their masticating artwork. Time had no meaning; nor did age. And he knew he was never getting out.
This was his due.
This was his eternal payment for the way he had lived his life: He had earned this place in Hell through his sins upon the earth, and yet still, he argued the unfairness to the others he was trapped with. Tough debate, though. There was little on the good side to support his bid for freedom; more to the point, nobody was listening. An ache filled his chest, so sharp that he sucked in a breath. A useless breath. Where he was - in the between of Life and Death - there was no such thing as breathing, or a sense of hope.
The cursed demon's blade stuck deep in his chest, his angelic healing inaffective against the wound. The blood that sat just under the surface of the gauze was blacker than the darkest night. Alec's body was traced with thin, dark angry veins. Isabelle was at her wit's end. Jace was holding onto his parabatai's hand, praying to the Angels that he wake up.
Magnus was trying his hardest to draw the poison out of Alec's system. It was proving to be much more difficult than he had hoped. All his magic had been expelled. Magnus grabbed a vial off the bedside table and brought it over to him, opened it and forced it to Alec's lips. Magnus forced the traded words down, tasting sour cherry syrup over shaved ice, bitter lemon peel, and spices that recalled a nameless sorrow. He held his hand over his mouth until he was sure he had swallowed it all.
It would take time, but Magnus was sure that Alec would live. He did everything he could to heal his external wounds. Now, it was Alec's turn to heal his internal wounds.
It was going to be a long way back from Hell.
Alec nearly choked on the god awful potion. His body trying it's hardest to reject the venom. It wasn't the first time he'd been poisoned. His body took to the effects quickly, shaking slowly but violently.
Even if he got rid of his demons, what would happen to his angels? He remembered his mother saying that Saint Anthony said, in his solitude, he sometimes encountered devils who looked like angels, and other times he found angels who looked like devils. When asked how he could tell the difference, the saint said that you can only tell which is which by the way you feel after the creature has left your company. If that was the case, then he had been in a room full of angels that looked like demons. His memories were there, but he felt as though he never left the bed. Never trust a demon. He has a hundred motives for anything he does ... Ninety-nine of them, at least, are malevolent.
The void of silence was deafening to Alec.
There's nothing more annoying than cold logic and reason when you've got a good fit going. Alec tried to resist the suffocating darkness, but he was so weak and tired. He wasn't sure how much longer he could hold on for.
Until a hand reached out to touch his cold skin.
"Alec."
Somewhere, deep in his mind, he swore to himself that he didn't hear her voice. That he was just imagining her.
Was it real?
The soft, gentle touch of her callused hand felt real.
"Alec, you need to wake up."
"I can't..." Alec whispered.
Jace, Magnus, Clary and Izzy all stared down at him with raised eyebrows.
"Alec... Alec, what are you talking about?" Jace bent down beside his parabatai and took his hand once more. Alec's body shook, the fever never ending. Sweat dripped down his temple as Jace pushed a lock of hair out of his face. Grabbing a cool wash cloth, Clary placed it against Alec's hot forehead.
That got a reaction out of the older Lightwood.
Alec's body twitched and convulsed.
Magnus already had his hands out, attempting to free the young man from the prison of the poison.
"What's wrong?"
"There's no more poison in his system ... this, ... this doesn't make any sense." Magnus said, "He's healing - slowly, but something's holding him back."
"Look!" Clary touched the bind to rune that was on Alec's chest, just opposite of his heart. The rune was dark and angry looking and it was bleeding.
"What the hell...?" Jace asked.
"Oh no." Were the first words to come out of Isabelle's mouth. "I know what's wrong with him!" She fled the infirmary, cell phone in hand before anyone could ask any more questions.
"Are you real?" Alec asked, holding her cold hand against his hot, feverish face.
"I"m as real as you believe me to be." She replied.
Despite his own inner cursing, his cheeks were slick with tears that spilled over his diamond eyes, a ceaseless flow he noticed and appeared not to give a damn to care about. And he had a feeling it was going to be a while before the leaking stopped-an inner artery had been nicked and this was the blood of his heart, spilling out of him, covering him.
"I'm so sorry." Alec whispered.
"For what, Alec?"
"For leaving you behind. For your-"
A cold finger touched his lips, shushing him into silence. "Don't. I told you to leave. If you hadn't ... you would have shared my fate. And we all know your light is what keeps you going. I couldn't have anyone tarnish that light - especially not him."
"You would still be here..." Alec trailed off.
The callused hand that was pressed against his face traveled down to his bare chest, stopping when it reached the bind to rune, icy fingers tracing the rune as her eyes kept his gaze. "I'm always with you, Alec. Always."
"Is there any way you can track a person ... even if you don't know if they're dead or not?" Isabelle asked.
"What?" Jace and Clary asked at the same time.
"I think, I know why Alec won't wake up - and why his rune is bleeding."
"Why?" Magnus asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
"Before Jace ... before the parabatai bond ... before everything, really." Isabelle rung her hands in her lap. "There was this girl .. "
Jaws dropped.
Including Jace's.
"Her and Alec were inseparable. She might have become his parabatai... had her father not tortured her."
What sounded like a strangled gasp came from Clary.
"Alec was caught trying to sneak her out of her house in Idris.. to save her from her drunk, abusive father. After her mother died, he spiraled out of control and Alec was trying to protect her, all while keeping her secret." Izzy sighed, looking at her brother's broken body lying on the bed. "He told her to run. But she refused - not unless he came with her. Alec insisted that he stay behind to give her a head start. He had her out of the house, they almost made it, but her father caught her by the back of the neck - She told Alec to run, forced him to leave her there."
Clary looked on the verge of tears.
"He hoped she survived her father's attacks, but when mom and dad went to check on her, the place was burnt to the ground. No signs of either of them. Alec... he fell into a depression. Barely ate, barely spoke to anyone for a year. He felt like he had lost his other half."
After a few moments of silence, Izzy spoke again. "I think she's still alive."
"How do you figure?"
Izzy looked at Magnus. "Because... his rune is bleeding. It's been six years and that rune has never bled, never done anything. I think he's feeling guilt all over again."
"How would we even find her, if she is alive?" Jace asked.
"Her father was a spy for Valentine ... I'm willing to bet that Valentine found out and kidnapped her." Izzy turned to Magnus. "Can you combine your tracking magic with Jace to help locate her? Using Alec as the beacon?"