Can You Leave The Past Behind?
Fandom : Leverage
Rating : PG-13
Characters : Parker & Sophie & Eliot (In my mind this is Parker/Eliot but it is kept vague so could be Parker/Hardison, I guess)
Written for the prompt : Author's Choice, Author's Choice, Carly Simon, Coming around again
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.
Can You Leave The Past Behind?
Parker looked down at the ring in her hand in shock. She was supposed to say something she knew that much but what escaped her. She hadn't let him put the ring on her finger, terrified at all it might imply, all the things that could go wrong if he did.
"Ummm . . . " she stalled, eyes flitting round not settling, not meeting his gaze.
"Hey, it's okay. You can think about it, you know, just let me know if . . . when you decide." She could tell he was trying to make out it was okay, no big deal, but he hadn't completely hidden the hurt and she could still hear it. She bit her lip and screwed her nose up, felt like she was really trying to pull the right answer out from inside. Nothing came out though . . . not a peep.
He leant in to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. "I – I'm just going out for a walk, I'll be back soon."
He was gone and she still hadn't managed to get a word out.
She stalked into the living room and slumped into her corner of the couch, pulling her knees up and making herself as small as possible. She shifted position a few times, back and forth trying to get comfortable with no luck. With a huff of disgust, she pushed herself back up to her feet and stomped across the room to the phone. She quickly dialled Sophie's number, certain that of everyone Sophie would know what she should do.
"Sophie?" she had the word out as soon as the line was answered, not giving the other person time to get out a greeting. "It's me, Parker and I'm in trouble!"
When Sophie immediately began asking questions about where she was and how many people there were, she knew she'd got it wrong again. "Not that kind of trouble," she said quietly, adding a "Sorry" as a guilty afterthought.
She stayed silent until Sophie had got her initial outburst out of the way and was ready to listen again, then she said, "He asked me to marry him!"
Somehow she wasn't surprised by the gushing ooohs and aaahs that she heard, Sophie was a romantic, they all knew that. She answered Sophie's questions diligently : yes, he'd gone down on one knee at first . . . yes there'd been flowers . . . yes the ring was pretty, really pretty and worth a lot as well . . . no, she didn't know whether it fitted or not.
All of a sudden she felt completely overwhelmed, felt the trickle of tears down her cheeks and heard as Sophie said she was on her way and not to worry, it wasn't too late to get everything sorted out.
By the time Sophie arrived, Parker was curled back into the corner of the couch, the tears still falling uncontrollably. Sophie let herself in and was soon sitting alongside her, pulling her in close for a hug and whisper soothing reassurances that didn't really make any sense at all.
As the tears finally subsided and Parker scrubbed her hands across her eyes almost angrily, Sophie sat her back up and turned to look at her frankly. "So tell me, Parker, what went wrong?"
Parker shrugged but gave no answer. "Okay," Sophie seemed to think for a moment before continuing, "Let's start simple. You didn't fall out with him?" Parker shook her head. "That's good. You like the ring?" A nod.
Sophie paused again before grimacing and asking, "Parker, did you say no to him?" The shake she received in reply this time was sharp and urgent. "Well that's a relief! I mean, of course, you said yes," she laughed, "What on earth was I thinking?"
"I didn't say yes," Parker murmured.
Sophie's eyes widened. "You didn't say yes?" she asked incredulously. "Why not?"
Parker looked away, refusing to make eye contact as she began to nibble on her nails nervously. Sophie's tone was firmer when she asked again, "Parker, why didn't you say yes? You love him, I know you do!"
"Marriage isn't a good thing. Marriages go wrong and then people burn things and break things and they scream at each other and then they hate each other and I don't want him to hate me and I don't really want to have to hate him either."
Sophie looked sad, before reaching out to catch hold of the hand that Parker was currently nibbling the nails of. "Parker, it's not always like that. Yes sometimes marriages go wrong but not always. Sometimes people love each other and it's the best thing to ever happen to them. You're thinking about what happened with your parents, aren't you?"
Parker shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant.
"Okay, look at it this way. The two of you already live together and have been doing so for . . . what two years now? He looks after you, even makes you your own fortune cookies. He loves you, thinks the world of you."
"He thinks there's something wrong with me!" Parker muttered defiantly.
"He still loves you, maybe even more . . . What did you say to him when he asked?"
"Nothing, I didn't say anything and then he said he was going out for a walk and he'd be back soon and he hasn't come back and he was upset and he didn't say anything but he was, I could tell!"
Sophie smiled, coasting a hand through Parker's hair, "I'm sure he was. He was probably hoping you would be happy, hoping you'd say yes. I'd say he'd be a little disappointed at least, but we can fix it right up. So would you like to get married to him?"
"Would I have to wear a big fluffy dress?"
"I'm sure that could be negotiable, but it would be nice to get something really special . . . just imagine, we could go shopping . . . Milan . . . Paris . . . we'll need to try a few different designers to get what we really need . . . ooh, I can just imagine . . ."
"Sophie!" Parker sounded irritable. "I don't want to wear a big froofy marshmallowy thing!"
"Oh – oh, of course not. We'd find something to suit you, it would be just right. You'd look beautiful and of course, I would need new shoes and – oooh and a hat!"
"I still don't think it's a good idea. I still think we'd be better to stay as we are. I mean it's good now right, why spoil it?" Parker insisted.
"I don't think we would be spoiling it," the gruff voice behind them both was a surprise. "Parker, I'd like to marry you, but if that's not what you want I get it, I guess. Just – just . . ." he growled at himself in annoyance as the words failed him, then took a deep breath and tried again. "Please let me know whether . . . this – us – this whole thing between us, you and me, means as much to you as it does to me and – and if it doesn't maybe . . ."
Before he could get the rest of the words out, she had cleared the back of the couch and launched herself into his arms, peppering his face with kisses. "I want to be with you, but I don't want to spoil it and you already think I'm not right in the head and so maybe if we got married than you'd be different and you'd want me to be different and right and then there'd be shouting and screaming and breaking things and things burning and I don't want us to be like that."
"Is that what you think? That I'd want to change you? I wouldn't want to change you for the world, I like you this way, I've got used to you this way. We're not going to shout and scream and stuff or no more than we do already and that doesn't mean anything 'cause we always calm down and we make up. But I get it if you don't want to risk doing this with me." He kissed her lightly. "I'll take the ring back if you don't want it, get you something you'd like more."
She looked down at her clenched fist , turning it over and opening it to reveal the beautiful ring within. As he reached to take it back, she closed her fingers round it again, pulling it to her chest. "It's mine," she whispered. "You gave it to me, I want to keep it – wear it and show everyone and get married maybe, but I don't want to wear a froofy marshmallow!"
"You'll marry me?" he sounded uncertain.
"Yeah, I guess so," she said simply. "You said things weren't going to change so I guess it would be alright, but I'm still not wearing –"
"A froofy marshmallow," he finished for her with a broad grin. "That's fine by me, sweetheart."