Your Heart So Close To Mine

Dedicated to Jayne, my tumblr secret valentine

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or the lyrics used in the title.

The first time she wears a necklace dedicated to him, she buys it herself.

It catches her eye when she's out shopping with her dads, the rack glimmering as the delicate chains catch the light. She finds his name easily, running the necklace through her fingers and clutching it against her neck, admiring the way it sparkles there in the small mirror balanced on top of the rack. She bites her lip and her heart flutters at the thought of wearing his name around her neck.

The first day back at school, she spots it on her dresser. She hesitates a moment before grabbing it and fastening it around her neck. It looks even better when she's actually wearing it. She stares at it in her mirror, transfixed, until her dads call her down for breakfast.

She fingers it nervously as she walks down the corridor to her locker. What if he doesn't like it? What if he thinks it's too forward? She doesn't want to seem desperate- that was the reason he broke up with her last time, after all.

Suddenly she thinks this wasn't such a good idea.

And then he's there, waiting by her locker for her and grinning. Her stomach flips.

"Hey", he says softly, and there's such tenderness in his eyes that she thinks for a moment she might pass out.

Breathlessly, she replies, "hi."

Her hand darts to her neck again. That's when he notices.

"Hey, what's that?"

Shyly, which is unusual for her, she shows him the necklace.

"I saw it when I was out shopping. I guess I thought it'd be kind of cute."

For a moment she fears she was right, it's too soon, he's not going to like it. But then…

"I love it." And he's smiling that adorable little half smile which makes her heart melt.

"You do?"

"Yeah. You're, like, the best girlfriend ever."

Then he's bending down and kissing her, one hand on her back and the other in her hair, and her knees feel suddenly weak.

"I love you", he murmurs against her lips, and she doesn't think she'll ever get used to hearing those words.

She wonders what she was so worried about.

….

The second time is bittersweet. Part of her is dying inside as he hands her the small box, because they're not together anymore and it hurts and she wishes she'd never marched up to that kissing booth because she can't take this, she can't. But she swallows the lump in her throat and opens the box anyway, desperately hoping she won't break down and cry right there in the corridor.

When she sees it, her world seems to stop. And she's not sure if that's good or bad. She glances up at him, sees that look in his eyes. Her heart skips a beat and her stomach twists uncomfortably.

She can't deal with these mixed emotions.

She hears him speak, his words both distant and too loud, ringing in her ears.

"You're a real star, and you need to shine."

Those words echo in her head for hours that night. She tosses and turns, gets up to fetch a drink of water, lies as still as she can and tries to divert her thoughts, but she can't get to sleep. She picks up the most boring book she can find and opens it and a random page, staring blankly at the words. Nothing.

She heads over to her dresser and picks up the starry necklace, considering it. Then she lifts her hair and fastens it around her neck.

Her bare neck.

She hasn't realised until now how empty that space has seemed since the night after that horrible, devastating breakup when she had practically torn her Finn necklace off and thrown it onto her dresser.

Then she spots it. His name, on that dainty silver chain, casually strewn over a hairbrush. Taunting her, the way it has every time she's seen it there. But she's never moved it.

She stares at it for a moment before gently picking it up and laying it down in her jewellery chest. He's right. It's time to move on.

But when she climbs back into bed, finally closing her eyes and drifting off, she keeps the star necklace firmly clasped around her neck.

She doesn't have to let go completely.

….

The third time, it's not really a necklace. It's a ring, an engagement ring, and as he slides it on her finger she knows her life is about to change forever.

But it's a good kind of change.

Still, she doesn't want anyone finding out yet, so that evening she slips it off her finger and threads it onto a spare chain.

She gazes at it as she lies in bed that night, holding it up in front of her face. It glitters in the moonlight peeking through her curtains, the same way her heart seems to sparkle whenever she's with Finn, whenever he kisses her or holds her or when that smile that's just for her tugs at the corner of his mouth.

Except that her heart sparkles much brighter than any diamond when she's with him, and it seems to gleam brighter every day, so much that she's not sure how she'll handle the joy of spending her life with him. Not that she'd have it any other way.

She looks forward to being able to wear the ring on her finger, to showing it off for everyone to see. But for now she enjoys the feel of it resting on her chest, so close to her heart, so she can feel him there. And this makes her feel closer to him than either of the other two necklaces.

She thinks, just maybe, she likes this one best of all.