Summary: A flailing Naruto rambles to his parents about his current life, and how he's been doing exactly as they told him to - er, except for the part about finding a girl. "Don't kill him, Dad. He's died once already and in my opinion that's one time too many."

A silly little monologue I wrote some time ago. :3 Decided to post in commemoration of, er, Valentine's Day. /wry grin

It's a really really really silly monologue, so, uhm... Please excuse my brain, I'm currently running a fever of 38.0 degrees Celsius so I really can't take responsibility for what it does... X_X and the Panadol just wore off with this sound effect: FWOOM.

XD

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Monologue at the Memorial

Um, hi...?

Mum, Dad, hi. I dunno if you'll hear me but... well, I still want to say this.

I've been doing what you told me to – yes, even eating vegetables. They're not that bad actually, y'know, sometimes. Really.

...You're probably laughing at me or something, aren't you?

Anyway. Uhm.

HWARGH. How do I even say this?

I'm afraid I won't be able to follow what Mum said about finding a girl who's like her and not too weird and hence I can't follow what Dad said about listening to mum either and – sorry! 'Cause, well, I already have someone in mind and...

And and and I can't possibly do everything you told me to do 'cause I'm supposed to go through this rebellious phase, y'know? Yeah! It's reasonable enough, oi! But also, did you really expect a girl as pretty and awesome and badass and perfect and everything as yourself to even exist, Mum? IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, I TELL YOU, IMPOSSIBLE. AND THE WORLD WOULD NEVER SURVIVE!

...I feel ridiculous, waving my arms at a slab of stone.

Though you can't call this fair competition anyway, since it's not actually a girl in question...

Don't kill him, Dad. He's died once already and in my opinion that's one time too many.

But I'm sure you won't mind, too much. He's really dependable, y'know, and he's always been there for me. To... catch me when I fall, I guess. And I do that a lot because your silly son can be very, very clumsy and rash and – as he put it – unpredictable. Though he doesn't seem to mind, 'cause he's like that and—

—and I think he is what home feels like. That's all that matters, to me.

So. Um, yeah. I'm not good with words, but I just want you to know that I'm fine, and really happy, and hopelessly in love... and, most importantly, I love you both.

Thank you for tolerating such a rebellious son. (Although I don't regret loving him and never will.)

And also... Thank you for being my parents.

For loving me.

I see you again, one day! Promise. However long it takes.

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(...Don't look at me, this is embarrassing! \o/)