A/N: This story expands a small scene I wrote for A New Life. Since this was getting so long, I broke it into two chapters.
As the big day approached Tom wondered for the hundredth time if he was doing the right thing. He didn't have much apprehension regarding himself. Although he loved his job as estate manager, and knew he would miss it very much, he was ready to leave Downton.
His apprehension dealt with Sybbie. Was he doing the right thing for Sybbie? Was he putting his own interests ahead of hers? He was taking her from a family that loved her. When he was in Boston he'd have to work all day and leave her with a caregiver until she went to school next year, how was that different from the nanny here at Downton? Here he was able to adjust his days to be with Sybbie if need be but he wouldn't be able to do that in Boston at least not in the beginning when he was new to the job.
Well he couldn't second guess himself now. The arrangements had been made. The job was accepted. He told himself it was just last minute jitters about making such a drastic change. It was always easier to stay with the familiar.
He did have some last minute things to do, the most important of which involved Cora. He thought that at this time of morning she would be in her upstairs sitting room. It was considered Cora's domain and rarely did anyone else in the family use it which Tom thought was a pity because it was one of the prettiest rooms in the house. The large picture windows looked out over the garden making it a very peaceful retreat. Tom would have loved such a room as his office although he might have spent more time looking at the gardens and the view rather than his papers and estate books.
As he had thought, Tom found Cora alone in her upstairs sitting room doing some embroidery. Tom wondered what she actually did with all the embroidery he had seen her doing all these years. She had given him a few pillowcases to take with him as well as an embroidered scene of flowers and butterflies that was to be framed and hung in Sybbie's new room. They were lovely and something he knew his mother would love. They would also be something for Sybbie to treasure in the years to come. But he couldn't recall seeing such pillowcases or pictures anywhere in the house.
"I'm glad to see you Cora. I was hoping to talk to you a bit."
Cora looked up at him with a smile on her face. "Of course, please sit." She gestured to the couch she was sitting on.
The couch she was on sat in the middle of the room facing a large fireplace. Two wing chairs and a large coffee table completed this seating arrangement in front of the fireplace. To the left of this, in the far corner of the room, were two more comfortable looking lounge chairs with a small end table between them. These chairs faced one of the large windows so they were a perfect spot for looking at the view. The other corner on that side of the room had a small table with three chairs arranged around it. There were several chests and cabinets also placed around the room.
It was not a stiff looking room as so many in the house were. Tom wondered if Cora had actually decorated it since the style did not really match the other formal rooms of the house. There was wallpaper on all the walls but not one of those ancient oil paintings that filled so many walls in the abbey. No this was a bright and cheery room which so suited his mother-in-law.
Do you need some help regarding Sybbie's things?" Cora asked.
"I actually had something I wanted to ask you. I only have a few photographs of Sybil. Some from our wedding and one from Mary's wedding and one from Edith's" he paused, "well Edith's almost wedding. But I don't have any from before that. I thought that Sybbie would like a few photographs of her mother as a child and if you have one of Sybil in her nursing uniform. Photographs that we could take with us."
Cora looked at him for several seconds willing back the tears she was afraid were beginning. Although she understood Tom's reasons for wanting to move to America, it didn't make it any easier. She had grown fond of her son-in-law and had come to see what a wonderful match he and Sybil were. And of course there was Sybbie. It would be so hard not see her delightful granddaughter grow up. "What a wonderful idea Tom. Let's look through some of the photograph albums I have."
She rose from the couch and went to a tall cabinet standing in the far corner of the room on the wall opposite the windows. It opened like a wardrobe cabinet revealing five shelves. Photograph albums, or what Tom assumed were photograph albums, lined most of three of the shelves.
Cora spent a few minutes picking out some of the albums and handing them to Tom. "Just sit them on the table Tom." It took Tom three trips to take all the albums Cora had pulled from the cabinet to the table.
Tom was surprised not only at the number of photograph albums Cora had but of the detailed captions that she, or he assumed it was she, had written for each photograph. Virtually all of the photographs displayed around the house were professionally done but most of those in Cora's albums were not of the same quality.
"One of my greatest enjoyments was photographing the girls when they were young" Cora commented as she opened the first album. "We always hired a professional photographer several times a year to come here but I found so many of those photographs too stilted … they didn't really capture the personalities of the girls."
Cora laughed as she continued "plus it was very hard to get Sybil to sit or stand still."
Tom laughed too. "I can imagine."
"I think you can tell a lot about someone from their photographs" Cora said pointing to a photograph of the three sisters. Mary and Edith, looking about eight and nine years old, were primly sitting on a blanket staring into the camera. Mary looked quite serious while Edith displayed a shy smile. A three year old Sybil was standing with her body sideways to the camera next to Mary fussing with Mary's hair. The photographer, Tom assumed Cora, must have called to Sybil because it looked as if at the moment the camera clicked, Sybil with her hands still on Mary's hair looked directly at the camera with a wide grin on her face.
Cora smiled as she remembered when she had snapped this photograph. It was a beautiful summer day with clear blue skies and not a cloud in sight. She and the girls had walked to the edge of the front lawn to take some photographs with Mary complaining all the way, Edith chattering about how lovely it would be, and Sybil running around them stopping only to look at a flower or a bug.
Mary, dutiful as ever, sat down and posed right away, wanting to get this over with as quickly as possible. Edith, always trying to please, had asked if and where Cora wanted her to sit or stand. Although she had wanted Sybil to sit in front of Mary and Edith, Sybil of course had her own ideas.
To Cora the photograph captured the nature of the girls … dutiful Mary, shy Edith, and independent Sybil.
"Why don't we make an album for Sybbie?" Cora suggested to Tom. "It would be so much better than some loose photographs to get torn or lost. I could also write some comments describing when the photograph was taken."
Tom was surprised but very pleased with Cora's suggestion. "I think that would be grand. Are you sure you want to part with that many photographs though?"
Cora looked at the numerous albums they had before them on the table. "I have so many photographs and Sybbie should have her own album of her mother."
"We'll go through these albums and pull the photographs you want and then arrange them in an album when we've decided on all the photographs. That way we can make sure they're in an orderly fashion."
Tom nodded at Cora's suggestion. He thought how Cora was so often taken for granted by the family as if she was just part of the furniture. He had noticed that Robert and Mary never asked her for her opinions regarding the estate although it was her father's money that had kept the estate afloat for many years. Not only did they not seek her opinion, they never discussed estate business with her even when she asked. They always seemed to brush aside her questions or comments or even just ignored them.
He remembered how Sybil had talked about how involved her mother had been in running the convalescent home and how she had been impressed with that. Maybe, thought Tom, all these years Cora had just been looking for something to do beyond embroidering. Maybe that's why these photograph albums were so numerous and detailed.
Tom wasn't really that interested in photographs from Sybil's first few months which were all professionally done. He went through those photographs rather quickly and just chose one of her christening. The christening gown Sybil was wearing was one that had been worn by both of her sisters as well as Sybbie.
You really couldn't see much of the infant Sybil who was swathed in a bulky white gown and matching lace cap but he chose it for she was held by a glowing young Cora who was surrounded by Robert, Violet and a man Cora identified as Robert's father. Robert smiled proudly in the photograph but his parents looked stiff and formal in their manner as well as their dress.
Tom wasn't sure if he had ever seen a photograph of Robert's father. Judging by the look of him in this photograph, Tom was glad he had never met the man. Sensing Tom's thoughts on her in-laws, Cora touched the photograph.
"My in-laws were not at all happy that my third child was another girl. It was bad enough when Mary and Edith were born but with Sybil …" Cora paused. "Well you can imagine the kind of remarks I had to endure."
Tom looked at Cora whose eyes were focused on the photograph. He hadn't expected such a candid comment from her at least not one regarding her in-laws. But Tom could imagine old lady Grantham's tongue was just as sharp then as now.
Not looking at Tom, Cora quickly turned the page.
"Sybil was a good baby." Cora said while they thumbed through these pages of her early life. "Since she was my third I was much more relaxed and prepared. I no longer feared every little cough or cry."
Tom nodded because he knew what Cora meant. He remembered how he had been with Sybbie. He had feared every little cough and cry. He had been so afraid something would happen to her and he couldn't bear that thought. Not after Sybil.
But it wasn't just that thought Cora. Although she was young when she had Mary who was quickly followed by Edith, she found motherhood so different from what she had imagined when pregnant. This was partly due to the ways of the aristocracy that she had married into where children were raised by nannies not their mothers and partly because the girls themselves were rather fussy babies.
With Sybil things were different. Cora was much more comfortable in her English lifestyle. She no longer let Violet trample all over her … at least not all the time. She was determined that she would take a much more active role in raising Sybil. Despite Violet's objections, she had a cradle put in her sitting room so that she could spend more time with Sybil.
Cora spent many happy hours embroidering or knitting, chatting to the infant Sybil who was cooing contentedly in her cradle. When Sybil was able to sit up Cora often propped her up on the sofa where Sybil would happily play with some extra yarn while Cora sitting next to her would work on her projects.
Of course it was only a few weeks before Sybil became fidgety. She was no longer content with sitting and playing with yarn. She would crawl on the couch and try to sit in Cora's lap. All the while she would try and finger everything she could reach … yarn, the embroidery hoop, Cora's dress, the buttons on her dress, Cora's hair.
Cora smiled as she remembered Sybil sitting in her lap facing her. As Sybil would reach for Cora's cheek or hair, Cora would kiss her fingers causing Sybil to giggle. When she kissed Sybil's cheek, Sybil would then kiss Cora's. Even today Cora could so easily see that smiling baby Sybil and hear her giggles. That first year of Sybil's life had probably been the happiest of Cora's life.
As they went through the photograph albums Tom was impressed with the work that Cora had done with them. It seemed liked all the important events in a year such as birthdays and holidays were covered as well as some of the everyday moments that make up a life. As he looked at the photographs Tom was reminded again of how different his and Sybil's childhoods were.
In Tom's childhood birthdays were noted with a cake or some other sweet treat after dinner and one present such as a small bag of marbles or a kite made by his father. When he was lucky he would receive a book. Tom's most cherished gift was when he was fourteen and received his grandfather's pocket watch. He still had the watch and wore it on special occasions.
Christmas was celebrated with the most elaborate meal of the year. There was always enough food cooked to offer a meal to any relative or friend who might visit during the day. Each child would get a piece of clothing, usually something hand knit by his mother but it would always be something that was needed never something frivolous. They'd also get one other present that would usually be a cheap toy or one made by his father or uncle such as a carved wooden lorry or a set of building blocks. He remembered how he would avoid shop windows in the weeks before Christmas because they would be filled with toys that his parents could never afford but his heart desired. While the presents were sparse, the house was always filled with love and happiness and Tom had warm memories of his family holidays.
Looking at the photographs from Sybil's birthdays and Christmases he was once again reminded that for the Crawleys such occasions were elaborate affairs with enormous amounts of rich food and expensive and numerous gifts. The gifts for any one of Sybil's birthdays probably cost more than for all of Tom's childhood birthdays combined. He now realized that the costly gifts they had given Sybbie for her birthdays and Christmases were not tokens of their spoiling their oldest and only granddaughter. It was what was natural for them.
However, it was the photographs taken by Cora of everyday life that Tom enjoyed more for these were the unexpected snapshots chronicling a life and a family. He enjoyed seeing how the chubby toddler developed into the beautiful girl he met when he arrived at Downton.
But what also struck Tom as he viewed the albums was that Cora was much more involved in her daughters' childhoods than he had imagined. Although he tried to spend as much time with Sybbie as his job allowed, he knew that the aristocratic way was to leave the day to day upbringing of a child to the nanny.
"Was it hard coming to live in England?" Tom asked.
"It was much harder than I ever imagined" Cora replied. "It was so many changes at one time … marriage, a new country, a new lifestyle."
"But your family was rich too" Tom commented.
"Not all my life. My father was a self made man but those riches didn't really come until I was in my early teens. From the time I was probably around six or seven I helped out in the shop doing things like sweeping or helping to fill the bins."
Cora continued "Both my parents worked hard. My mother worked along side my father. Their success was due to her as much as him." She sounded quite proud of that.
"So it was a change to come here and find that I was not expected nor wanted to help with running the estate. My domain was to be solely the house itself."
Tom thought he detected a bit of wistfulness in Cora's tone. She looked as if she was going to say more but instead reached for a photograph. The photograph surprised Tom because in it Sybil was quite disheveled.
"If Sybil had had her way, this is how she would always have looked" Cora chuckled. "It would mean she had been climbing trees, or chasing rabbits, or playing in a creek."
Unlike Mary or Edith, Sybil loved the outdoors. Even more so she loved playing outdoors. She would act out scenes from her favorite books which usually dealt with pirates or cowboys. She would chase rabbits or deer that wandered onto the grounds. She was never afraid to get dirty.
From the time she could crawl, Sybil wanted to explore her surroundings. It seemed like she went from crawling to running because she found she could get further and explore so much more.
"So Sybbie comes by her desire to jump in puddles or chase Isis around the front lawn quite naturally." Tom laughed. "I thought maybe it was just her Irish side but I guess she gets it from both of us."
It took Tom and Cora two hours to go through just two of the photograph albums. Even for photographs that Tom didn't take, he would read Cora's notations or Cora would talk about the photograph – when it was taken, where it was taken, what she had hoped to convey through the photograph.
As she reached for the third photograph album, Cora stated "What if I ring for lunch to be served to us here? That way we could keep looking through these if you want."
"I'd like that very much" Tom replied sincerely. He was enjoying this time with Cora. While his purpose had been solely to retrieve a few photographs of Sybil, he found he was enthralled listening to Cora talk about Sybil's childhood. He was also seeing a side of Cora that he had never seen before.
Thirty minutes later Thomas and Andy entered the sitting room bearing two large trays containing several serving dishes from which Tom and Cora could serve themselves lunch. Plates, cutlery, glasses, and a pitcher of lemonade was on a tray carried by one of the other houseboys.
"Please set everything down on the coffee table" Cora said as she rose from her chair when the servants entered the room.
"I'll ring when we've finished and someone can retrieve the trays" Cora spoke authoritatively.
After they had done as instructed by Cora and then left the room, Cora turned to Tom. "Do you want to fill our plates and then sit back at the table and continue or take a break a sit on the couch while we eat?"
"Why don't we take a short break and sit on the couch" Tom replied.
Cora nodded and smiled at Tom. This morning has been such a delight she thought. It was so good to talk about Sybil. Although the hurt and pain of her death would never leave, it had been over four years and Cora could now talk about her without breaking into tears.
She also found that she was really enjoying talking with Tom. It was so obvious from the comments he made or the questions he asked that he was truly deeply in love with Sybil and that warmed her heart.
For Tom's part he was enjoying seeing Cora in this light. He knew it had taken Sybil a long time to determine if she could chance losing her family by choosing him. Listening to Cora and seeing the photographs helped him understand this part of Sybil a little better. His only contact with her parents prior to his marrying Sybil made him wonder if they knew their daughter at all. They didn't seem to have any idea of Sybil's loneliness, her desire to work, her desire for a life different from that at Downton. He now realized that maybe Sybil had been thinking of the parents of her childhood.