A little fic, set after the mess that was 5x15. I doubt that an exchange like this will occur, but writing it helped me to vent.
I own nothing.
THE LAST GOODBYE
I heard all you said, and I love you to death.
I heard all you said. Don't say anything.
The Kills - The Last Goodbye
Blair walked through the connecting bathroom and knocked on Serena's door. Getting no reply, she sighed and pushed through, determined to talk things out with her best friend.
"What are you doing?"
There were different articles of clothing all over Serena's bed, as well as a suitcase filled with more clothes, on the floor.
"I'm going to stay with my mom."
"What? Why?"
"Because I'm carrying this betrayal with me, wherever I go. I don't need to have it looming over my head in my home, too."
Blair huffed. "I said I was sorry, S. What else can I do?"
Serena dropped a skirt into her suitcase. "Nothing. You don't have to do a thing, Blair. You've already done enough."
"You're not being fair, Serena. It wasn't my fault."
Serena's head whipped round and she glared at her best friend. "Did you, or did you not, kiss him back?"
Blair's eyes dropped to the floor. "Yes. But I didn't intend for it to happen."
Serena was tired of her excuses. Ever since the Valentine's party, she had been desperate to prove that the kiss meant nothing, but Serena wasn't stupid.
"Save it, B. I've stood by you through everything over the past year. Whether it be Chuck, or Louis, or your ridiculous pact with God. And you ran to him, every time. Are you aware that you're married now? Do you even remember that you were going to be a mother."
It was a low blow, she knew it, and it made Blair furious. "Of course I remember! I think about my baby every day! Look, I know you're mad at me, but you can't say stuff like that."
She was disappointed with herself for her outburst. "I know, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have brought it up. By I still stand by what I said. I was there for you when you got married to a man that you didn't really love. A man that you got engaged to, after only really knowing him for a few weeks. And you professed your undying love to Chuck, on your wedding day, but you seem to have forgotten all about him."
"I didn't forget. I do love him."
Serena scoffed. "You've got a funny way of showing it."
"Don't ever question my love for Chuck. You know how much he means to me."
"Then why aren't you with him?" Serena was shouting now, frustrated with the conversation. "You're marriage is a sham, and he offered you an out, so you two could be together. But instead you're kissing Dan, and hurting the people who love you! God, he would do anything for you, Blair, and so would I! Isn't that enough for you? Has your failed marriage not filled up your life's capacity for drama?"
Blair's mouth dropped open in shock. No one had ever spoken to her like this, especially not her best friend.
"All this time, you've been saying how proud you are of Chuck for growing up and getting the help that he needs. We were all growing up: Nate's got the Spectator, I've got my column, and Dan had his book. But you had a wedding; a fairytale." Blair attempted to interrupt her, but was cut off. "Your belief in fairytales at the age of twenty-one, is proof of just how little you've matured. And the only reason you stopped believing in them was because your new husband manipulated you. You really have-"
Blair cut her off. "I can't believe you're lecturing me on growing up when you're still pining over your high school boyfriend."
"That I'm still in love with!"
She was done with this conversation. Serena zipped up her suitcase and pulled it up by it's handle. "And he may not have been your boyfriend in high school, but you haven't stopped loving Chuck since you were eighteen, so you of all people, should know what I'm feeling."
Serena walked toward her door but stopped as Blair asked, "How long will you be gone?"
Her head dropped as she sighed. "I don't know. But give me a call if you decide to grow up, and stop being so selfish."
Not wanting those to be her parting words, she turned to Blair. Moisture suddenly filled her eyes as she looked at her best friend. "All I ever did was love you."
Blair felt the absence of her friend as soon as she walked out the door. She buried herself beneath Serena's comforter and cried.