TITLE: Prison of Life
AUTHOR: Tori
EMAIL: tatum_cafe@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Angst & Action & Drama
SPOILERS: Before the season 1 finale
CONTENT WARNINGS: Some battles, stab wounds, gun shots.
SUMMARY: From Sha'uri's POV, we see her life and her return to her husband, Daniel Jackson, but does she belongs on Earth ?
NOTE: Stargate SG-1 belongs to MGM/UA, and Showtime, I am using their characters for non-profit entertainment. This story is from Sha'uri's point of view mostly, but some scenes are not. The story is before the season finale : " Within the Serpent's grasp " I made the Ga'ould in this story speak only their language, the language they speak I made most of the spelling up. Some words though, are real Egyptian, taken without permission from a book I own The Empire of The Ramsès by Claire Lalouette from Fayard edition Reference to " Thor's Hammer " " Children of the God, part I & II "
bold italic means that the character speaking are speaking Ga'Ould's language heqaou khasout= masters from another country
nefer= the beautiful
Ka= soul
My World changed two years ago. A sudden change, that turned my life around.
For the better or the worse, that I cannot tell you, it brought me both.
But here I am alone.
Two years ago, then I learned, two years since the destruction of Ra. But years mean nothing to me, it doesn't tell me much. I am an Abydosian, years are not how we measure the days, the hours, the months. I wished many times, that it never happened, that I would be back at my village, being a simple slave, with my family, with my friends. But men arrived at my village, one carried the sign of Ra. My father followed the tradition, and gave, his only daughter to marriage to a heqaou khasout.
To not angry the Gods.
Ra.
With fear, not knowing much then my few dawns, I entered the tent where my new husband was. But he refused me. That master with desert hair and eyes just like mine, the colour of the water. He refused, in a way that we became husband and wife, he requested and needed my help. I told everyone lies about our wedding night, I felt something toward that tall, clumsy husband. I wasn't after a while, I understood, he could speak our language, I helped him, and he could then explain me who he and his friends were.
The were travellers from another World called " Earth ", and they were exploring, and that they lost friends that came with them and they needed us to get their friends back. He told me his name was Daniel. But our gods became angry and destroyed a part of our village. Along with Daniel and his friends, we went to the temple and destroyed it, we wanted our freedom, we needed it. Ra disappeared into the great fire, and the false guards also. The travellers went back to their home, but Daniel stayed, his home was with us. His friends disappeared into the water.
I thought it would the last time I would see them.
I was wrong.
Time passed, one day we received a message from the Stargate (that's how Daniel called it) Daniel's friends returned, but also the Gods. With many, I was taken away with Skaara and my people. I was chosen to be the Queen of our Gods. But the truth was they weren't our gods. The were human like me and Daniel, and they carried a kind of animal in their stomach. They put something like that in mine, and I felt a wave of pain in my body, then I felt as if I was pushed back with violence, then blackness. Sunsets and dawns passed until I opened my eyes once again, but it was now as if I was carrying a veil over my face. And the voice. A voice talked to me, she told me she was the Queen, and she told me, that I would never see my village if I didn't do like she said.
Being the slave I always been, following those Gods, I was always taught to respect, even if Daniel showed me their real faces, they were once my Gods and I respected if not feared them.
But too many sunsets I saw through that veil.
One night, I decided I wouldn't listen to the lies, I walked to the Stargate, forcing the Queen, who called herself a Ga'Ould, to sleep. I arrived to a room, and gazed at the tall stone circle before me, and I saw a panel nearby and tried to focus on which was Abydos'. But before I could touch the hieroglyphs, the Queen stopped me. "Do not touch those symbols !" She growled at me.
I winced at the pain in my head. My hands went to my temples and I pressed them as hard as I could against my tanned skin.
"I...want.. to.. go.. home.." I said through the pain.
"No, I need you here, you must never do that again." Said the voice
"Please, let me free !" I begged, tears now rolling on my cheeks.
"You are much stronger Sha'uri, much stronger I thought you would be, and I enjoyed the futile tries to fight me. But now it's enough. Do as I say. And I will bring you back home." Said the queen
"Please, I want to see Da-nyel" I begged, the pain ceased a little
"You will.. you will." She said and we went back to the Queen's room.
But even tough I wanted to much to believe her, I knew it was a lie, never she would let me go. And from time to time I tried to fight her. But whenever I would try, pain flowed through my body. I felt in a prison in my own body. I stopped to fight, hoping that Daniel would rescue me. How many nights I passed looking at the sky, knowing my husband was on a planet somewhere. I tried to remember the star he found one day the star he showed to me and he told me to look for it, if we were ever separated. But I couldn't find the star.
And days went by I felt weaker and weaker, I realised I was losing, the Queen Ga'ould was winning, and soon, she would kill all my soul and my body would be hers.
We were brought on a planet, what name ? For reasons I didn't not know or care to do so and since I was made a Ga'ould, the planet look all the same. The pleasure I had long ago to watch the sun fall on the desert of Abydos. But now, being a slave, it took away my taste for life. I obeyed to the Queen as her puppet, knowing deep inside if I ever tried to break free, I would die.
We were getting out of the Palace. Every castle, which fascinated me when I was a little girl, watching the temple of Ra, hoping to be a princess later was now a bitter memory. I was now the Queen, but the Queen of what ? Of a race that destroyed my people. That put them into misery, killing their husbands and took away their children for our own, killing their ka.
Now, I knew that richness wasn't within those Palace's wall, that looked all the same. A gold cage, like the bird, one villager gave me once. I opened the door and let the bird free, it was the only moment I felt a little bit more like who I really was behind the Queen' s " protection ".
My second husband looked at me strangely, and I answered that I didn't want the bird. I truly didn't want the bird, it reminded me too much of how I really was, a bird in that golden cage, singing, pretending to be happy while only wishing freedom. It only made me think of my first husband, Daniel, and how I missed him.
We finished our business, and we headed back to the Stargate, when shots were fired. I arranged my weapons to protect myself, when a voice very familiar voice cried out my name, my real name. Not the name I was given to replace someone who should have long ago disappeared to Anubis. The name I repeated for months in my head to keep myself as human as I could.
I turned around to see the man I longed to see since we were separated, Daniel. For a second our eyes locked together. And the universe around us started to fade. The Ga'Ould inside tried to take control, but I was stronger, my heart was now alive. There's was a thousand words I longed to say and hear from my lips or his. Neither of us, moved, shots fired beside me but the world seemed to fade completely and distant as I only half heard Apophis's cry of anger and retreat. And Daniel's friend's weapon discharging beside Apophis and his guards.
Daniel walked a step closer to me, he was only a few steps away. But under my eyes, in horror, a yellow blast illuminated before Daniel and without a scream he falled on the ground.
With all my strength I ran to his side and carefully took his head on my lap and I was relieved when I felt his warm breath on my hand. He was unconscious but alive, I caressed his hair softly, the beast in me was fighting, but I was strong minded I resisted her even at times I didn't control my body, the queen Ga'ould didn't win all, I was still much present, gathering my forces. I heard screams and shots stopped afterward. I felt the Ga'ould queen take over, I squeezed Daniel's hand in that way we would be together. Someone walked over me and blackness filled my mind.
"YOU ARE WEAK I WILL KILL HIM" ragged the voice I've been hearing for so long.
"You know I will kill you if you ever did," I said back
"You'll kill yourself stupid," replied the voice.
"I don't care, if he dies, so will I", I said to the voice firmly yet bitterly. I had accustomed to the vile taste in my mouth when she spoke and the mild headache she caused.
The voice was silenced by what I said : I meant it with all my heart
I opened my eyes, but what seemed to be a brief second, was much more. I stood beside Apophis, guard surrounded in a circle, something I couldn't see.
I cleared my throat, which made every guard turn to me, and I could see what they have been hiding. I saw four persons, my husband, my Daniel was unconscious on the floor beside him was a woman with short blond hair, a Jaffa guard and someone that it was a long time I didn't see, O'Neill, Daniel's friend.
Apophis made out an order to kill them all, but I looked at Daniel, then I turned to my second husband. I shivered in fright, they were good people, they were the Tau'ri, they were not gods, I knew that but they could do so much and be so kind and so powerful. I did not want any of them dead, but I grew selfish in my entrapment. My sole saviour in all this time had been Daniel, even if I loved my father and my brother very much, never had I fathom the thought they would save me. It was impossible for them to help after all it had been because of O'Neill, Daniel and their friend that we fought the False God.
"Days are so much long when, you my husband, are not around, I wish to have someone to keep me company, I admired their foolish stubbornness, and it distract me". I said in his language trying to act as queenly as possible, I raised my chin high and looked straight in the eyes while repeating my mantra "don't fail" over and over.
Apophis looked at me with suspicions, he looked at his newest prisoner and his guards, then he paused looking at something on the wall. I could feel the Queen inside being as confused as he was. But I had put as much honey in my voice to make him melt and maybe just enough of venom to make him even more grant me my wish.
"Which do you wish to possess, the woman ? It would make you have some female company, and she couldn't escape." Apophis said after a long pause
"No, I have enough woman to order, and it's' making me feel jealous, I want the man, the wounded one. I saw in his eyes the intelligence but also, being wounded he couldn't escape". I answered, hoping that Apophis wouldn't see how stressed I truly was and scared if Daniel would have died, I couldn't dare to turn my head around. I was sacrificing his team because I cared more about my husband then the rest of them. I knew once I told him that he would be greatly ashamed of me, but I had no other choice.
"I will think about it", said Apophis, his voice neutral, "Come with me, we have to meet another Gods, who will be glad that we captured those humans."
Apophis started to walk, then he turned to me. I glared at him, then walked back to the palace without turning back, for some reasons, the Ga'ould Queen even told me to go back to my room. I did so, leaving a stunned Apophis that I was sure of.
I called my servants to undo my long hair, the three woman carefully put my black mane in a tress, and I was dressed to my sleeping dress, I sat on a long chair, and gazed at the sky, from the window.
A servant later asked me if I wanted to see my master, with great rage at not having my request granted I harshly told my servant that I didn't not want to see the Master. With great fright she went and told my husband so.
I was the Queen, and I was supposed to be obeyed, by all, and I was the Queen of the Gods, and everyone had to respect me. And I couldn't be respected if my husband made me his slave, made me as low and undignified as my servants.
I stopped this trail of thoughts, realising that I was not the one who was angry at Apophis, it was the Queen who was. I closed my eyes, and raised from the large cushions and I walked to my bed and let myself fall on the soft mattress, crying my solitude and my pain, of being so close to my love, to my freedom and not being able to touch it, as if it was fire.
"Forget him," said the queen suddenly in my head, as I tried to sleep.
"What ? !" I asked her, confused
"Forget that Daniel of yours, it will only brings you pain." Said the Queen softly had it not been for the words I would have been amazed by the sympathy in her voice that was without a doubt sincere. But the words inflamed my heart and my tongue even more so.
"Never.. you hear me.. never !! I told her, a wave of passions flaming my body, I pulled on my hair and hit the mattress a few times to add effects.
The voice was silent I meant what I said with all my soul. And the Ga'ould queen couldn't do a thing about it, she knew I would kill myself if Daniel died. I loved him so much. I felt even guilty to admit it, but I loved him even more so out here being away from him. He became my only source of hope.
And I slept until dawn, to a dreamless sleep.
AUTHOR: Tori
EMAIL: tatum_cafe@hotmail.com
CATEGORY: Angst & Action & Drama
SPOILERS: Before the season 1 finale
CONTENT WARNINGS: Some battles, stab wounds, gun shots.
SUMMARY: From Sha'uri's POV, we see her life and her return to her husband, Daniel Jackson, but does she belongs on Earth ?
NOTE: Stargate SG-1 belongs to MGM/UA, and Showtime, I am using their characters for non-profit entertainment. This story is from Sha'uri's point of view mostly, but some scenes are not. The story is before the season finale : " Within the Serpent's grasp " I made the Ga'ould in this story speak only their language, the language they speak I made most of the spelling up. Some words though, are real Egyptian, taken without permission from a book I own The Empire of The Ramsès by Claire Lalouette from Fayard edition Reference to " Thor's Hammer " " Children of the God, part I & II "
bold italic means that the character speaking are speaking Ga'Ould's language heqaou khasout= masters from another country
nefer= the beautiful
Ka= soul
My World changed two years ago. A sudden change, that turned my life around.
For the better or the worse, that I cannot tell you, it brought me both.
But here I am alone.
Two years ago, then I learned, two years since the destruction of Ra. But years mean nothing to me, it doesn't tell me much. I am an Abydosian, years are not how we measure the days, the hours, the months. I wished many times, that it never happened, that I would be back at my village, being a simple slave, with my family, with my friends. But men arrived at my village, one carried the sign of Ra. My father followed the tradition, and gave, his only daughter to marriage to a heqaou khasout.
To not angry the Gods.
Ra.
With fear, not knowing much then my few dawns, I entered the tent where my new husband was. But he refused me. That master with desert hair and eyes just like mine, the colour of the water. He refused, in a way that we became husband and wife, he requested and needed my help. I told everyone lies about our wedding night, I felt something toward that tall, clumsy husband. I wasn't after a while, I understood, he could speak our language, I helped him, and he could then explain me who he and his friends were.
The were travellers from another World called " Earth ", and they were exploring, and that they lost friends that came with them and they needed us to get their friends back. He told me his name was Daniel. But our gods became angry and destroyed a part of our village. Along with Daniel and his friends, we went to the temple and destroyed it, we wanted our freedom, we needed it. Ra disappeared into the great fire, and the false guards also. The travellers went back to their home, but Daniel stayed, his home was with us. His friends disappeared into the water.
I thought it would the last time I would see them.
I was wrong.
Time passed, one day we received a message from the Stargate (that's how Daniel called it) Daniel's friends returned, but also the Gods. With many, I was taken away with Skaara and my people. I was chosen to be the Queen of our Gods. But the truth was they weren't our gods. The were human like me and Daniel, and they carried a kind of animal in their stomach. They put something like that in mine, and I felt a wave of pain in my body, then I felt as if I was pushed back with violence, then blackness. Sunsets and dawns passed until I opened my eyes once again, but it was now as if I was carrying a veil over my face. And the voice. A voice talked to me, she told me she was the Queen, and she told me, that I would never see my village if I didn't do like she said.
Being the slave I always been, following those Gods, I was always taught to respect, even if Daniel showed me their real faces, they were once my Gods and I respected if not feared them.
But too many sunsets I saw through that veil.
One night, I decided I wouldn't listen to the lies, I walked to the Stargate, forcing the Queen, who called herself a Ga'Ould, to sleep. I arrived to a room, and gazed at the tall stone circle before me, and I saw a panel nearby and tried to focus on which was Abydos'. But before I could touch the hieroglyphs, the Queen stopped me. "Do not touch those symbols !" She growled at me.
I winced at the pain in my head. My hands went to my temples and I pressed them as hard as I could against my tanned skin.
"I...want.. to.. go.. home.." I said through the pain.
"No, I need you here, you must never do that again." Said the voice
"Please, let me free !" I begged, tears now rolling on my cheeks.
"You are much stronger Sha'uri, much stronger I thought you would be, and I enjoyed the futile tries to fight me. But now it's enough. Do as I say. And I will bring you back home." Said the queen
"Please, I want to see Da-nyel" I begged, the pain ceased a little
"You will.. you will." She said and we went back to the Queen's room.
But even tough I wanted to much to believe her, I knew it was a lie, never she would let me go. And from time to time I tried to fight her. But whenever I would try, pain flowed through my body. I felt in a prison in my own body. I stopped to fight, hoping that Daniel would rescue me. How many nights I passed looking at the sky, knowing my husband was on a planet somewhere. I tried to remember the star he found one day the star he showed to me and he told me to look for it, if we were ever separated. But I couldn't find the star.
And days went by I felt weaker and weaker, I realised I was losing, the Queen Ga'ould was winning, and soon, she would kill all my soul and my body would be hers.
We were brought on a planet, what name ? For reasons I didn't not know or care to do so and since I was made a Ga'ould, the planet look all the same. The pleasure I had long ago to watch the sun fall on the desert of Abydos. But now, being a slave, it took away my taste for life. I obeyed to the Queen as her puppet, knowing deep inside if I ever tried to break free, I would die.
We were getting out of the Palace. Every castle, which fascinated me when I was a little girl, watching the temple of Ra, hoping to be a princess later was now a bitter memory. I was now the Queen, but the Queen of what ? Of a race that destroyed my people. That put them into misery, killing their husbands and took away their children for our own, killing their ka.
Now, I knew that richness wasn't within those Palace's wall, that looked all the same. A gold cage, like the bird, one villager gave me once. I opened the door and let the bird free, it was the only moment I felt a little bit more like who I really was behind the Queen' s " protection ".
My second husband looked at me strangely, and I answered that I didn't want the bird. I truly didn't want the bird, it reminded me too much of how I really was, a bird in that golden cage, singing, pretending to be happy while only wishing freedom. It only made me think of my first husband, Daniel, and how I missed him.
We finished our business, and we headed back to the Stargate, when shots were fired. I arranged my weapons to protect myself, when a voice very familiar voice cried out my name, my real name. Not the name I was given to replace someone who should have long ago disappeared to Anubis. The name I repeated for months in my head to keep myself as human as I could.
I turned around to see the man I longed to see since we were separated, Daniel. For a second our eyes locked together. And the universe around us started to fade. The Ga'Ould inside tried to take control, but I was stronger, my heart was now alive. There's was a thousand words I longed to say and hear from my lips or his. Neither of us, moved, shots fired beside me but the world seemed to fade completely and distant as I only half heard Apophis's cry of anger and retreat. And Daniel's friend's weapon discharging beside Apophis and his guards.
Daniel walked a step closer to me, he was only a few steps away. But under my eyes, in horror, a yellow blast illuminated before Daniel and without a scream he falled on the ground.
With all my strength I ran to his side and carefully took his head on my lap and I was relieved when I felt his warm breath on my hand. He was unconscious but alive, I caressed his hair softly, the beast in me was fighting, but I was strong minded I resisted her even at times I didn't control my body, the queen Ga'ould didn't win all, I was still much present, gathering my forces. I heard screams and shots stopped afterward. I felt the Ga'ould queen take over, I squeezed Daniel's hand in that way we would be together. Someone walked over me and blackness filled my mind.
"YOU ARE WEAK I WILL KILL HIM" ragged the voice I've been hearing for so long.
"You know I will kill you if you ever did," I said back
"You'll kill yourself stupid," replied the voice.
"I don't care, if he dies, so will I", I said to the voice firmly yet bitterly. I had accustomed to the vile taste in my mouth when she spoke and the mild headache she caused.
The voice was silenced by what I said : I meant it with all my heart
I opened my eyes, but what seemed to be a brief second, was much more. I stood beside Apophis, guard surrounded in a circle, something I couldn't see.
I cleared my throat, which made every guard turn to me, and I could see what they have been hiding. I saw four persons, my husband, my Daniel was unconscious on the floor beside him was a woman with short blond hair, a Jaffa guard and someone that it was a long time I didn't see, O'Neill, Daniel's friend.
Apophis made out an order to kill them all, but I looked at Daniel, then I turned to my second husband. I shivered in fright, they were good people, they were the Tau'ri, they were not gods, I knew that but they could do so much and be so kind and so powerful. I did not want any of them dead, but I grew selfish in my entrapment. My sole saviour in all this time had been Daniel, even if I loved my father and my brother very much, never had I fathom the thought they would save me. It was impossible for them to help after all it had been because of O'Neill, Daniel and their friend that we fought the False God.
"Days are so much long when, you my husband, are not around, I wish to have someone to keep me company, I admired their foolish stubbornness, and it distract me". I said in his language trying to act as queenly as possible, I raised my chin high and looked straight in the eyes while repeating my mantra "don't fail" over and over.
Apophis looked at me with suspicions, he looked at his newest prisoner and his guards, then he paused looking at something on the wall. I could feel the Queen inside being as confused as he was. But I had put as much honey in my voice to make him melt and maybe just enough of venom to make him even more grant me my wish.
"Which do you wish to possess, the woman ? It would make you have some female company, and she couldn't escape." Apophis said after a long pause
"No, I have enough woman to order, and it's' making me feel jealous, I want the man, the wounded one. I saw in his eyes the intelligence but also, being wounded he couldn't escape". I answered, hoping that Apophis wouldn't see how stressed I truly was and scared if Daniel would have died, I couldn't dare to turn my head around. I was sacrificing his team because I cared more about my husband then the rest of them. I knew once I told him that he would be greatly ashamed of me, but I had no other choice.
"I will think about it", said Apophis, his voice neutral, "Come with me, we have to meet another Gods, who will be glad that we captured those humans."
Apophis started to walk, then he turned to me. I glared at him, then walked back to the palace without turning back, for some reasons, the Ga'ould Queen even told me to go back to my room. I did so, leaving a stunned Apophis that I was sure of.
I called my servants to undo my long hair, the three woman carefully put my black mane in a tress, and I was dressed to my sleeping dress, I sat on a long chair, and gazed at the sky, from the window.
A servant later asked me if I wanted to see my master, with great rage at not having my request granted I harshly told my servant that I didn't not want to see the Master. With great fright she went and told my husband so.
I was the Queen, and I was supposed to be obeyed, by all, and I was the Queen of the Gods, and everyone had to respect me. And I couldn't be respected if my husband made me his slave, made me as low and undignified as my servants.
I stopped this trail of thoughts, realising that I was not the one who was angry at Apophis, it was the Queen who was. I closed my eyes, and raised from the large cushions and I walked to my bed and let myself fall on the soft mattress, crying my solitude and my pain, of being so close to my love, to my freedom and not being able to touch it, as if it was fire.
"Forget him," said the queen suddenly in my head, as I tried to sleep.
"What ? !" I asked her, confused
"Forget that Daniel of yours, it will only brings you pain." Said the Queen softly had it not been for the words I would have been amazed by the sympathy in her voice that was without a doubt sincere. But the words inflamed my heart and my tongue even more so.
"Never.. you hear me.. never !! I told her, a wave of passions flaming my body, I pulled on my hair and hit the mattress a few times to add effects.
The voice was silent I meant what I said with all my soul. And the Ga'ould queen couldn't do a thing about it, she knew I would kill myself if Daniel died. I loved him so much. I felt even guilty to admit it, but I loved him even more so out here being away from him. He became my only source of hope.
And I slept until dawn, to a dreamless sleep.