There's Something About Parvati
~*~by Hatter of Madness~*~
There was one thing to be said about Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil, and that was that they had an undying (and a bit bizarre) friendship. It was right before lunch on Friday and the girls were leaving Divination in a sea of giggles. Their favourite professor, Professor Trelawney, had had quite an interesting lesson plan, to say the least.
"The position of Jupiter is just right for your love life," Lavender teased as they walked to the library. Lavender had decided to pick up a book before lunch and Parvati had decided to tag along when she overheard a certain Gryffindor boy in their year telling Seamus Finnigan that he had a library book that had to be returned that day...one he had forgotten about until Lavender opened her excessively large mouth.
Parvati rolled her eyes. "Oh, please. I think this might be the first time Trelawney was ever wrong."
"Yeah, Trelawney wrong, that's something new, isn't it?" Ron Weasley said from behind them to his friend, Harry Potter, in a very loud voice. Dean and Seamus started to laugh. Harry, too, found it hard not to grin.
Parvati whipped around severely, but Ron did not seem nearly afraid of her. "Just because you don't have the Sight doesn't mean that she's always wrong!" she snapped.
"No, not always," Seamus agreed. "Only once or twice. A day."
"Or a minute," Harry threw in, and the four busted up laughing, yet again.
Lavender, sensing danger, immediately dragged Parvati away before she could do something she'd end up regretting. "Ah, ah, ah," she warned as they approached the library, "you're never going to get a Yule Ball date behaving that way."
"And what makes you so sure I want to go to the Ball?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow.
"Oh, let's just say I'm not an idiot. I saw the way you looked at Dean Thomas."
"And when did I look at Dean Thomas?"
"Hmm...just now, all throughout Divination, and Herbology, and during breakfast, and right before bed last night, and throughout dinner, and during the Quidditch matches last year, and let's just say you seemed to find him more interesting than the tournament, and I'm pretty sure you were looking at his picture last night before you went to sleep."
Parvati was dumbfounded and only barely managed to sputter, "How did you know I have a picture of him?"
"Well, I didn't until now," Lavender said, and they both erupted into fits of giggles. "But you're never going to get him this way, you know," she said, recovering from their laugh attack after receiving a stern look from Madam Pince, the librarian.
"You're a twat, Lavender."
They both started to giggle again. "And with that attitude, you're likely to go to the Ball with a frog."
"And who do you expect to go with, Miss Brown?"
"Seamus, of course."
Parvati's eyes doubled in size. "He's already asked you?"
"Well...er...no, not yet. But he's bound to, isn't he?"
"Sure," she said, "if the only other available date is a toadstool."
They both started giggling again, ignoring the wild looks that Madam Pince sent their way.
"Okay, you obviously want to go with Dean," Lavender said, "and obviously, I want to go with Seamus, but neither one of us have dates at the present. So if you don't..."
At that moment, Seamus walked up to them. "Hey, ladies," he said. Both girls shot him a venemous look. "Lav, may I have a word with you?"
"In a minute, Seamus, I'm talking to Parvati," she said, then continued, "anyway, if you don't end up getting a date to the Ball, I won't go either, and the two of us can stay in the Gryffindor common room listening to Celestina Warbeck and playing Exploding Snap or trading Chocolate Frog cards, or something. Sound like a plan?"
"Lavender," Seamus said, "do you want to go to the Ball with me?"
Almost immediately forgetting what she had just told Parvati, she squealed, "Yes, yes, a million times, yes!"
"Lavender!" Parvati gasped.
"Sssh!" Madam Pince called over the noise.
Seamus smiled, said, "Thank you," and walked over to where Dean was standing, returning the book.
"How much of that do you think he heard?" Parvati asked, biting her lip.
"Well, I'm hoping he heard the 'yes, yes, a million times, yes' part, considering that's the only thing I told him," Lavender said, sounding rather bored as she located the book she wanted on the high shelf before her, casting a summoning charm to get it as it was just slightly out of reach.
"Not that, you numpty," Parvati said, a smile spreading across Lavender's face. "I meant, right before he started talking you said that I want to go with D...ehh..."
She immediately stopped talking, as Dean and Seamus were in front of them. "Hello, Dean," she said quickly. "Seamus."
"Alright, Lavender, the secret's out," Seamus said.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Lavender said, giggling but being careful of Madam Pince's ever watchful eyes, which were scanning the library like a hawk. She clutched her book to her chest, tucking her hand into her robes again. Parvati's heart was pounding in her chest. Suppose Seamus had heard what she had said about Dean...
"Well, what he means is that you've agreed to go to the Ball with him," Dean said, and Parvati was immediately relieved.
"Yeah, so?" she asked.
"I can't believe it," Dean said, shaking his head. "You actually found a pity date!"
"You can shut it, Dean Thomas!" Lavender said, turning pink. "It is not a pity date!"
"Yeah, a pity date would be more like Millicent Bulstrode agreeing to go with me," Seamus said, "that is, if I was desperate enough to sink that low and ask her, you know..."
"Say, Parvati," Dean said, trying to change the topic, "who are you going to the Ball with?"
"Well, she wants to go with Warrington," Lavender said, joking but sounding very serious, "why do you ask?"
Dean and Seamus howled with laughter. "He'd crush you!" Dean said, almost bending over with laughter.
"Why do you want to go with him..." Seamus agreed.
"OUT!" Madam Pince said, striding over. "The four of you, out! I've had to shush you enough for the day!" Before she could round on Lavender and Parvati, they took off for the Great Hall, Lavender giggling the entire way.
In the common room that night, Lavender brought out a game of Exploding Snap, trying to coax Parvati into playing, who adamantly refused. "I don't believe you, Lavender Brown," she said.
"What? I like this game," she said.
"Not that, you twit!" she said. "I meant, what you did earlier, in regards to our Yule Ball dates."
"Oy, what did I do?"
"Well, let's see, promised me if I didn't have a date—which I don't—that you'd stay in the common room with me, then proceded to say 'yes' to someone asking you to the Ball, tell my dream date that I wanted to go with Warrington—as ifI'd ever—and what's worse, now you won't shut up about Seamus enough to listen to me."
Confirming this, Lavender said, "Aside from all that...how do you think Seamus looks in dress robes?"
"You're hopeless."
Parvati went to reading her Potions text—not that it was any interesing to her—as Lavender said, "Oh, for the love of Merlin..." and stood on the couch that she was sitting on, saying, "EXCUSE ME, YOU NUMPTIES..."
"Lavender!" Parvati hissed.
All talking in the room stopped. "IF YOU ARE A FOURTH YEAR GRYFFINDOR MALE OF THE AFRICAN PERSUASION NAMED DEAN THOMAS, YOU BETTER GET YOUR ARSE OVER HERE AT ONCE, BECAUSE I HAVE A BONE TO PICK WITH YOU..."
The room burst into laughter, and Parvati hid her face. She could see Dean and Seamus talking in a corner, big grins plastered on their faces. Dean stood and strode over to them, with Lavender snapping instructions at Parvati. "I really hate you, Lavender..."
"Hello," Dean said coolly. "I believe I'm a fourth year Gryffindor male of the African persuasion named Dean Thomas," he said, smirking.
"Oh, good," Lavender said, "Parvati would like a word with you."
If looks could kill, Lavender would have been fried to a crisp by the blazing one Parvati sent her. Dean waited as she stood and he led her to a corner of the room, saying, "Yes, Miss Patil?"
"I hate Lavender," was the first thing that came out of her mouth.
He laughed. "Well, if it makes you feel any better, Dean isn't exactly my favourite person at the moment, either."
She stared at him. "Oh? Really?"
"Yes, because he thought this was a stupid idea, but I thought it was borderline romantic, really..."
"What are you..."
He took out a single red rose, saying, "Will you go to the Ball with me?"
She was speechless. After a moment, she said, "And you think this is just borderline romantic?"
He smiled, saying, "Well, it's sort of a Muggle thing to ask someone this way. Seamus thought it might be too formal for this, but really, what about a Ball says 'casual', right?" He was looking directly into her eyes when he said this.
"It's...sweet," she said smiling, ignoring how Lavender and Seamus were obviously watching.
"Great, do you think it'll work on Hermione Granger?"
Parvati's mouth dropped open and Dean laughed. "Only joking. So...will you?"
"To quote a stupid twit I know...yes, yes, a million times, yes."
He smiled, handing her the flower and saying, "Great, now I just have to convince Seamus that you actually said yes to me..."
"Have fun," she said, taking it back to Lavender, who was watching her like a hawk.
"I told Seamus it would work," were the first words out of her mouth.
"You set this up?" Parvati said, frowning.
"Of course. With a little help from Dean and Seamus, but still, I have good ideas sometimes, you know."
"You're a twat, Lavender," Parvati said.
"Thank you, I try."
This was written as a oneshot request from a girl named Casey on another website, who asked for a Parvati and Dean oneshot. I've never written this couple before, so bear with me on this. I think maybe K+ is too low of a rating due to using the 't' word twice, so if you think I should change it tell me in a review. Thanks for reading. :)
- Hatter of Madness