The heat, the passion it meant nothing, every time you'd go back to her. I love you. You know I do. You love me. I know you do. She means nothing to you! And you mean the world to me, why!? Why!? Why!? Why do you always leave and go back to her!? Why!?

The startling heart break which swelled in my chest was making my throat feel constricted. Causing me to choke on the sobs ripping from my throat, which was raw from screaming your name. When I look in the mirror all I see is a shell of the person I used to be. You've broken me down baby, well and truly. I don't know where to go from here, I can't continue like this, it hurts every time you whisper 'I love you' and its hurts a million times more when you whisper it to her. I could give you everything you wanted, everything you needed so why do you stay with her?

You tell me she's nothing to you; do you tell her the same about me? Who is it you want? Every touch, every kiss, I feel the love you give off. But I doubt myself, maybe it only feels like love because I'm so desperate for it to be love. I tell myself it's better to have you for a night twice a week at the most then not at all, even if you never stay the whole night. But now I'm struggling with myself, is it really? The pain is so great, but the love is too, the question is; is the love worth the pain? I don't know if it is anymore.

Please, please, please. Oh god, please stay with me.

I force my face into the pillow filled with the musky scent of you and sex, screaming your name as I feel my throat tear and bleed. The tears wont' disappear as much I try to force them down they won't go away. They're soaking into the pillow and for a fleeting moment I wonder how long it would take for me to run out of breath, how long it would take me to slip away. The thought scares me more than anything ever has before, I wasn't like this. I'm supposed to be like sunshine, cheery and always bright.

But I'm losing my shine, I'm not sure if you can see it, if you could, would you fix me up like you used to? I miss the days when it was just you and me. You used to hate her, her stupid obsession with you, you'd hide at my house or hide behind me whenever she came searching for you, she hated me. I kept you safe for her. Then as we grew up so did she, her obsession with you still existed and was still blatantly obvious, but she didn't chase you and stalk you. The day you told me you and her had started dating was just, so, shocking and depressing. I ran from you, I didn't know what else to do. You knew how I felt about you, I'm not good at subtle, I knew you felt the same as I did. I was so confused and hurt I wanted to just throw myself of the Hokage tower and get it over with, that way I'd no longer being an obstacle in your way to rebuilding your precious clan.

I hate you. I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you so much!

I screamed louder this time, louder and gruffer my voice wearing down. I wasn't going to do this anymore; I'd lost who I was. The happy go lucky obnoxious clumsy grinning blonde everyone loved, I loved. Why do you mean so much to me? Why do I let you abuse my love like this? I feel so dirty.

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Should Sasuke make his affair with Naruto a permanent relationship? Or should he end it with Naruto and stay with Sakura?