A Sue Sylvester Synopsis
Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or Ms Sylvester!
Sue Sylvester prided herself on being the single most successful person in the cow-town of Lima; she also prided herself on being the single most feared person too. And as she walked through the halls of McKinley High, her posture perfect and her power unwavering, she knew it was going to be a good day. How did she know, you ask? Because while she was happily making her third latte of the day (made by her new Cheerio's only coffee machine; hand built and imported) accompanied by her special protein shake, Will Schuester was currently using the bulk of his pathetic Glee club to push his crap-bucket of a vehicle into the McKinley parking lot. She smirked. Today was going to be a sensational day.
Now despite all her free time – spent usefully imbedding fear into children at a young and impressionable age – Sue Sylvester was truly a teacher. No one quite did gym class like Sue, and she knew it was her responsibility, because honestly apart from his obsession with that failing club he called a football team, Coach Tenaka wouldn't know exercise unless he was strapped to a running machine with cake hanging in front of his face and a bed of nails behind him. It was her sole responsibility to ensure all the children of McKinley didn't turn into the gargantuan people on the street, at whom Sue could not help but cringe. Never show fear, Sue.
She was also a language teacher, she might add. She was not as pleased with the role as that William Schuester, who thought it was his mission in life to help others. She gagged at the thought, but she knew enough French to teach the lower levels of McKinley's pecking order a thing or two.
"You think this is hard? Try helping a German woman give birth in Spain! Now that's a language barrier!"
But Sue's home away from home was always standing powerfully on the bleachers, her megaphone in hand, ready to shout insults at Cheerios and fat kids alike, or standing powerfully in the gym hall watching her Cheerios work themselves to nothing, or, one of Sue's personal favourites, standing powerfully in Figgins' office, waiting for that sad, little chin wobble that meant she had won yet again against that curly-haired freak, Schuester.
Even at lunch time she found time to make sure others knew her significance. Who said she should pay for prison food when the school would pay for her sushi , after all? It was a good life, and while she had yet to destroy the disgraceful club that was Glee, she found herself utterly pleased with herself: she had her Sue's corner, a private office, a fear factor of 100, and a pack of record winning Cheerios. World domination could only be so far ahead. Outstanding.