A/N:: Hey! Here's my new story. It's a Jacob and Renesmee FanFiction. It's All Human and A-U and OOC. Thank you to my FUCKmazing beta Hans153 for being there for me and being an awesome beta! I never would've have gotten this done if it weren't for her! Thank you baby love! Love you lot's like and Oreo Blizzard! Go over to Hans153's profile and check out her fuckmazing stories at www . fanfiction . net / ~ hans153
Ok listen! I'm only going to say this ONCE during this whole story! I DO NOT OWN TWILIGHT! STEPHENIE MEYER OWNS TWILIGHT! YOU THINK THAT IF I WAS SM, THAT I WOULD BE SITTING HERE ON MY ASS WRITING EROTIC FANFICION ABOUT MY OWN CHARACTERS? NO I DON'T THINK SO!
Please leave me some love! See ya at the bottom!
Love the Hardest Way
Preface
Nessie's POV
I've decided that I'm going to give up on love. No one wants me. No man wants me. It might have something to do with that I'm a nut when it comes to certain things or the fact that when I meet a man and they tell me to tell them about myself and I end up telling them about all of my obsessions. And the one obsession that always seems to make them stand up and say 'I need to use the bathroom' and never come back is . . . Jacob Black; my roommate and my best friend since I was three. When we first met, we were in preschool. We were playing house and Jacob was the daddy and I was the mommy. I had given Jacob the baby doll that was our baby to go change its diaper. I got mad when he wasn't putting the diaper on correctly and pulled his long black hair and screamed at him that he was putting it on wrong. Jacob in return, turned around and smacked me in the face, screaming at me that I was a bad mommy for making the baby cry. We had both gotten time out. We have been inseparable ever since.
Jacob and I knew everything about each other. And when I say everything, I mean everything. I knew that Jacob secretly loves the movie 'The Notebook'; I knew that he lost his virginity when he was fourteen; I know that he sleeps around a lot. He knows that I have a girl crush on Mila Kunis; he knows what kind of birth control I take; he knows about my obsession with Gothic Metal bands; he knows I have a thing for men with eye liner; he knows that my hymen broke when I went horseback riding with him and his family on La Push beach when we were fifteen but never actually had sex. See? We know everything about each other. Okay, that's a lie; Jacob doesn't know that I obsess over him day after day. If I had my way, I would be married and making babies with him. I just wish that I was something more in his eyes besides a best friend. I know Jake loves me, but it's not the kind of love I want it to be; it's more an 'I-love-you-like-family' type of love. But I guess since this is the only type of love I'll be getting from Jake, I'll be glad to stay single for the rest of my life. He's the only one I'll ever want. And if he finds his true love I'll gladly support him. I'll also gladly stay a partial virgin; I'll gladly become a cat lady. I won't have anyone else, because I love Jacob and only Jacob. He may not love me like I love him but as long as he loves me like a friend; it's all I need in life. Sure it might hurt to see Jake marry someone else, to have kids with someone else, but I'll gladly take the pain just to see Jake happy. He is, after all, my best friend. I don't know what I would do without him.
~Love the Hardest Way~
Jacob Black was my first kiss. And last. We were sixteen and drunk. I was over at his house, and he had invited all of his friends over. We had all decided to get drunk and play 'spin the bottle'. It was Jacob's turn to spin the bottle and it landed on me. He leaned over and kissed my lips chastely. Even though it was just a peck on the lips, I'm sure it would be the best kiss I would ever have in my life. I don't think I could ever kiss anyone else who wasn't Jacob. I feel as if I would be cheating on him. But see, I'm not even dating him and he doesn't own me. No matter how much I wish he did. So leave it to me to cling onto his romantic love that is not even there in real life. I am such a fuck up. I love my best friend and he doesn't love me. Romantically I mean. I know that if I continue to fawn over him like I do now; I'll end up with a broken heart. But right now I could care less about if it breaks my heart. I won't blame it on Jake because I will have brought it upon myself. I will be mad at myself. But like I said, right now I don't care about heartbreak. I only care about the fact that I'm giving up on love and just face that Jacob doesn't want me like I want him. I know that when my heart breaks, no amount of duck tape will be able to fix it. And I won't rely on Jake to fix my broken heart because I know that if I do, I'll drive him away and possibly ruin his relationship with whoever it is he'll be with in the near future. I'll run away from this town, not looking back and I'll change my name and leave The States and buy lots of cats and name each one of them Princess Cornelia Venus Llama Donna Ding Dong. Hey, at least it's better than killing myself.
I am so fucked up, it's not even funny. Ironically funny, I mean.
I dream of kissing Jacob, of waking up in his arms every morning, of making love late at night 'til the early hours of the morning, of having his children, of growing old with him and watching our children grow up, of watching our children have children. But I know that this is just a dream; something that will never happen in life; something that too far out of my league; something that I want so much; something that I'm sure would make Jacob look at me like I have grown another head. That's why I am keeping this a secret from him . . . I'm never going to tell him that I obsess over him.
I'm Renesmee Bella-Carlie Mason and I've been falling for my oblivious best friend since I was three; Jacob Black. Heartbreak, here I come!
A/N :: So tell me your thoughts! Oh! The cat lady part goes out to my beta Hans153 . . . I had to put that there because . . . well its private . . . but I had to put it there!
Leave me some love?
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