At often times, Tatsumi found himself wondering why he even watched anymore; why he even cared.
Tsuzuki was just like the most beautiful boy the class. The one who, as if by fate, didn't even know you existed. The beautiful boy with a ring on his finger and a promise on his part, to a much younger blonde shinigami who was now envied by a good percent of the workplace. Still, there was something uneasy on his face. Uncertainty made its home in his eyes only when his fiancée was nowhere near.
Still, it was too late to go back. Everything had been selected, from the number of rooms in the new apartment to the dishes and silverware that would be stocked in the drawers and cabinets. All that was left to do was choose the correct colors for each room. It wasn't doubt in Tsuzuki's mind, per se. He simply wasn't ready. Everything had happened to soon and too fast, and he felt as if he were making a terrible mistake.
Tatsumi sensed this. He laid down the fan of color strips he had in his hand upon the table and gently laid it on Tsuzuki's shoulder, lifting his eyes to his best friend's face. Tsuzuki tensed a bit, startled, and looked up to meet Tsuzuki's gaze. His eyes, surprisingly, were almost intense.
Ah, Tsuzuki?" Tatsumi frowned softly, tilting his head a bit to the side.
"Yes?"
The two of them sat in silence; one not knowing what to say, and the other waiting for a question to answer.
Tatsumi waited an uncomfortable amount of time before clearing his throat, lowering his face. He had what his co-workers, since Kurosaki-kun had come along, liked to call 'reversed empathy'. He had plenty of logic and knew how to work his and almost anyone else's way out of a tight situation. However, when it came to know-how of the human heart, he found himself more confused than a small boy before college math. He just couldn't compute to these sorts of things.
After a moment, he removed his hand from Tsuzuki's shoulder and picked up his fan of color strips again, lifting them for the other man to see.
"Which color for the kitchen, Tsuzuki?"
Tsuzuki leaned forward, frowning, his legs folded Indian-style on the plush couch in Tatsumi's office, which he rarely had the opportunity of sitting on. A year ago he might have relished the privilege. It was marvelous, what a distraction engagement could be to any human being. His eyes drifted to the door every now and then; his partner was expected anytime soon bearing their lunch. Tatsumi watched without comment. For all he knew, Tsuzuki could be expecting anyone.
"This one." Tsuzuki finally said, indicating a misty blue color near the middle of the strip.
Tatsumi nodded, fingering through another fan of colors, this time of different selected greens and earth tones that would be used for the small living room. It wasn't often that there was a wedding in Meifuu, and everyone had decided to chip in to give Tsuzuki and Hisoka the most attractive apartment they could. Neither of the pair complained too much, or at least not too much for Watari and Wakaba, who contributed wholeheartedly.
It took him only a minute to find the strip he needed and set it out on the table in front of Tsuzuki beside the previous strip, tapping it with his finger.
"This is for the living room. Choose two."
Tsuzuki bit his lip, nodding, and became focused on the small column of colors. He gazed at them more reflectively than critically, his hands meanwhile fidgeting worriedly in his lap. His eyes searched up and down the colors, time after time, never saying a word and only becoming even more tense. He shifted to set his feet down on the floor and lean closer, as if he was missing something on the small cards that needed better attention. Tatsumi did not move for as long as his patience could hold, watching Tsuzuki's eyes through the thin curtain of his bangs, brushing his own hair from his face.
At length, he extended his hand to take the strip, having it in mind to examine the colors himself, when Tsuzuki's hand went to grab his arm. He blinked, masking a more startled expression that otherwise would've shown itself.
Tsuzuki looked up at him, no longer trying to hide the fact that something was bothering him, his grasp tightening on Tatsumi's wrist.
Tatsumi searched for the perfect words. Unfortunately, he had none to give. Instead he held up his hand to tuck a stray lock of hair behind Tsuzuki's ear, speaking in a soft voice.
"Tsuzuki, something is troubling you. What is it?"
Something about the look in Tsuzuki's eyes when he glanced up at Tatsumi, like a child that's being forced to switch schools or—
Then it hit him. Within an instant, Tsuzuki had climbed onto the table and was now only just over a foot from Tatsumi, gazing pleadingly into his eyes. He was getting nostalgic already. Tatsumi tried to smile to reassure him, lightly patting his shoulder with his other hand.
"Tsuzuki, don't worry. Everyone has second thoughts before these sort of things."
Tsuzuki shook his head, his large eyes starting to tear up, opening his mouth to deny what Tatsumi had said. He wasn't given the chance to speak. Tatsumi continued on, more deliberately than before.
"Big change can bring very good things, and in your case, balance. Think of how nice that will be."
By now Tsuzuki was trembling with fear. Without wasting another second, he decided to make his move.
Tatsumi's eyes widened when, all at once, his lips were claimed by the other shinigami.
When Tsuzuki finally pulled back, Tatsumi found himself at loss for words to follow. Though he knew words weren't what were expected from him. While he tried to gather himself, Tsuzuki waited patiently on the table before him, lips slightly parted, still catching his breath.
Many minutes passed before removed his hand from Tsuzuki's grasp, dropping the other to the tabletop below them. He was still debating over what to say when Tsuzuki spoke.
"Nevermind." He mumbled, sinking back onto the couch and straightening his legs before him.
Tatsumi frowned, touching his lips with a bit of intrigue and wonder, which he kept carefully veiled from Tsuzuki, only thinking for a brief moment before straightening himself as well. As he took the color strips up in his hand for the last time, he looked up at Tsuzuki, finding it in himself to say a few words in exchange for his pride, and Tsuzuki's courage.
"I'm sorry that I could not kiss you."
Tsuzuki ignored him, his eyes resting on the tabletop, waiting to make his next choice.