Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or the song "Hold On" by Good
Charlotte.
Title: Hold On
Summary: One-shot songfic. After a particularly bad night at Privet Drive, Harry thinks of ending it all.
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"You're nothing but a worthless little freak." Venon Dursley said delivering another kick to Harry's abdomen. "We sacrifice room, food and clothes for you and you repay us by breaking everything." Vernon grabbed Harry off the floor by the collar of his oversized shirt and brought him closer to his ugly, purple face. "This place had better be spotless by the time I get home boy, or you'll regret the day you were born." With that, Vernon dropped Harry on the floor and walked out.
~This world, this world is so cold
But if you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear~
Harry stayed curled on the floor after he heard the car drive away. Why did everything always have to happen to him?
Harry didn't ask for all this. He didn't ask to be a wizard. He didn't ask to be the boy-who-lived. He didn't ask for Sirius and Cedric to die. He didn't ask for his parents to die. He was sick and tired of everything being his fault. Harry wanted to just end it all.
That's when Harry opened his eyes and spotted the knife laying on the cutting board. Harry uncurled his body and slowly made his way to the counter.
~But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go though
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know~
Harry reached up and grabbed the handle of the knife and brought it level to him. Why not end it now?
No more beatings. No more magic. No more expectations. No more Voldemort. Harry lowered the knife to his wrist. No more Snape breathing down his neck. No more having to be in the middle of Ron and Hermione's arguments.
~Your days, you say they're way too long
And your nights, you can't sleep at all.
And you're not sure what you're waiting for
But you don't want to no more
You're not sure what you're looking for
But you don't want to no more~
Ron and Hermione.
He was supposed to be going to the burrow in a month and a half. What would they do if they heard Harry was never coming back? Would Hogwarts even notice he was gone? Harry could imagine Malfoy's face saying "I knew he would kick the bucket the cowardly way."
Bitterly Harry began cutting into his wrist heading for the vein. He saw the blood path made behind the knife's tip.
~But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go through
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know~
"Harry?" Harry heard a small voice. He looked up and saw Ginny staring at him. "Harry what are you doing to yourself?" The youngest Weasley asked seeing Harry on the floor.
"I can't handle it anymore Ginny. I can't." Harry said staring intently at his wrist. Another movement and he could end it all. Ginny took a few steps toward him.
"Please don't Harry. We need you." Harry shook his head.
"No you don't. No one does. The only thing I'm good for is blame." His grip tightened on the blade.
"Harry please, put the knife down. You don't want to do this." Ginny pleaded falling to her knees in front of him.
~Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over hold on
What are you looking for
What are you looking for
Do you know what you're doing to me
Go ahead what are you waiting for~
"There's nothing else I can do." Harry said quietly. "It's all too much."
"It's only too much if you let it be Harry." Ginny said with tears running down her face. "Do you really want to die Harry? Do you really want to leave all the people you love sad and depressed?"
Harry gripped the hilt tighter before he dropped the knife letting it clang to the floor. Harry covered his face with his hands, finally freeing the emotions that were bottled up inside him. Ginny came up to Harry and moved the knife away from his reach. She reached out and pulled Harry closer to her and wrapped her arms around him.
"Oh Harry, it'll be alright." Ginny said soothingly.
"I don't know if I can do this alone any more Ginny." Harry said wiping his eyes.
"You're not alone Harry. You've got me, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore. You've got so many around you that are willing to help you. We all love you." Harry pulled back and looked at Ginny.
"Thank you Ginny. If it wasn't for you, I would have gone through with it." Ginny reached up and wiped a few of Harry's leftover tears away.
"I won't ever let you leave without at least saying goodbye."
"How'd you get here anyway?" Harry asked wiping blood from his wrist with the bottom of his shirt.
"I was coming in to get you so you could come live with us for the summer. My dad is waiting outside in a car. Go get your stuff." Ginny helped Harry stand and he went up the stairs to get his things. Ginny picked up the knife from the floor and carefully laid it in the sink. Ginny then found a pad of paper with an open pen next to it and left Mr. and Mrs. Dursley a particularly nasty note telling them that Harry was never coming back and they should rot in hell for harming him. Ginny waited at the door as Harry came down with his trunk and Hedwig in her cage.
"Ready Harry?" Ginny asked opening the door.
"More than you know." Harry replied and they both walked out the door of the Dursley home.
~Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over hold on
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know
Hold on~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I thought of this when I first heard the song. I couldn't help but write it. I myself have lost someone close to me to suicide and have thought about killing myself but I didn't. So please get help if you feel like committing suicide. There are people who will miss you terribly.
-Ginny Weasley-Riddle
Title: Hold On
Summary: One-shot songfic. After a particularly bad night at Privet Drive, Harry thinks of ending it all.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
"You're nothing but a worthless little freak." Venon Dursley said delivering another kick to Harry's abdomen. "We sacrifice room, food and clothes for you and you repay us by breaking everything." Vernon grabbed Harry off the floor by the collar of his oversized shirt and brought him closer to his ugly, purple face. "This place had better be spotless by the time I get home boy, or you'll regret the day you were born." With that, Vernon dropped Harry on the floor and walked out.
~This world, this world is so cold
But if you don't, you don't have to go
You're feeling sad, you're feeling lonely
And no one seems to care
Your mother's gone and your father hits you
This pain you cannot bear~
Harry stayed curled on the floor after he heard the car drive away. Why did everything always have to happen to him?
Harry didn't ask for all this. He didn't ask to be a wizard. He didn't ask to be the boy-who-lived. He didn't ask for Sirius and Cedric to die. He didn't ask for his parents to die. He was sick and tired of everything being his fault. Harry wanted to just end it all.
That's when Harry opened his eyes and spotted the knife laying on the cutting board. Harry uncurled his body and slowly made his way to the counter.
~But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go though
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know~
Harry reached up and grabbed the handle of the knife and brought it level to him. Why not end it now?
No more beatings. No more magic. No more expectations. No more Voldemort. Harry lowered the knife to his wrist. No more Snape breathing down his neck. No more having to be in the middle of Ron and Hermione's arguments.
~Your days, you say they're way too long
And your nights, you can't sleep at all.
And you're not sure what you're waiting for
But you don't want to no more
You're not sure what you're looking for
But you don't want to no more~
Ron and Hermione.
He was supposed to be going to the burrow in a month and a half. What would they do if they heard Harry was never coming back? Would Hogwarts even notice he was gone? Harry could imagine Malfoy's face saying "I knew he would kick the bucket the cowardly way."
Bitterly Harry began cutting into his wrist heading for the vein. He saw the blood path made behind the knife's tip.
~But we all bleed the same way as you do
We all have the same things to go through
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know~
"Harry?" Harry heard a small voice. He looked up and saw Ginny staring at him. "Harry what are you doing to yourself?" The youngest Weasley asked seeing Harry on the floor.
"I can't handle it anymore Ginny. I can't." Harry said staring intently at his wrist. Another movement and he could end it all. Ginny took a few steps toward him.
"Please don't Harry. We need you." Harry shook his head.
"No you don't. No one does. The only thing I'm good for is blame." His grip tightened on the blade.
"Harry please, put the knife down. You don't want to do this." Ginny pleaded falling to her knees in front of him.
~Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over hold on
What are you looking for
What are you looking for
Do you know what you're doing to me
Go ahead what are you waiting for~
"There's nothing else I can do." Harry said quietly. "It's all too much."
"It's only too much if you let it be Harry." Ginny said with tears running down her face. "Do you really want to die Harry? Do you really want to leave all the people you love sad and depressed?"
Harry gripped the hilt tighter before he dropped the knife letting it clang to the floor. Harry covered his face with his hands, finally freeing the emotions that were bottled up inside him. Ginny came up to Harry and moved the knife away from his reach. She reached out and pulled Harry closer to her and wrapped her arms around him.
"Oh Harry, it'll be alright." Ginny said soothingly.
"I don't know if I can do this alone any more Ginny." Harry said wiping his eyes.
"You're not alone Harry. You've got me, Ron, Hermione, Dumbledore. You've got so many around you that are willing to help you. We all love you." Harry pulled back and looked at Ginny.
"Thank you Ginny. If it wasn't for you, I would have gone through with it." Ginny reached up and wiped a few of Harry's leftover tears away.
"I won't ever let you leave without at least saying goodbye."
"How'd you get here anyway?" Harry asked wiping blood from his wrist with the bottom of his shirt.
"I was coming in to get you so you could come live with us for the summer. My dad is waiting outside in a car. Go get your stuff." Ginny helped Harry stand and he went up the stairs to get his things. Ginny picked up the knife from the floor and carefully laid it in the sink. Ginny then found a pad of paper with an open pen next to it and left Mr. and Mrs. Dursley a particularly nasty note telling them that Harry was never coming back and they should rot in hell for harming him. Ginny waited at the door as Harry came down with his trunk and Hedwig in her cage.
"Ready Harry?" Ginny asked opening the door.
"More than you know." Harry replied and they both walked out the door of the Dursley home.
~Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know
Don't stop looking you're one step closer
Don't stop searching it's not over hold on
Hold on... if you feel like letting go
Hold on... it gets better than you know
Hold on~
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
I thought of this when I first heard the song. I couldn't help but write it. I myself have lost someone close to me to suicide and have thought about killing myself but I didn't. So please get help if you feel like committing suicide. There are people who will miss you terribly.
-Ginny Weasley-Riddle