The Divine Wings of Tragedy
Prelude: Of Sins and Shadows
Night fell over Nibelheim, the town empty of all souls except for two:
No one had truly lived in Nibelheim since the day years before when Sephiroth, the man that would come to be known as the Destroyer, had began walking the bloody road that had led him to his ultimate fate, killing everyone that lived there. It was something of a mystery as to how the town had returned to it's state before Sephiroth's rampage: some whispered that the Shinra Corporation had rebuilt the town as part of an attempt to cover up the extent that its greatest fighter, the paragon of SOLDIER, had gone mad. Others of a more superstitious bend had claimed that the town had been reborn out of the will of the Destroyer himself, for a nefarious and uncertain purpose. Whatever the true reason was, after the defeat of Sephiroth and the chaos that had fallen on the Shinra with the fall of Midgar, Nibelheim had become deserted, a ghost town, which was why Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart had chosen to go there in the aftermath of their wars. Both had been born there, both had grown up there and both had lost family there, at the hands of Sephiroth, and it was, in theory at least the perfect place for both to recover from their scars. They remained in contact with the remainder of the band that had fought the war against the Shinra and Sephiroth, who were at present helping Barret Wallace rebuild the town of North Corel, by PHS, and every month or so supplies were dropped off by the rebuilt airship Highwind, but, basically Cloud and Tifa were on their own.
Which, perhaps, was part of the problem…
Cloud Strife dreamed:
Every night for a year, he saw the same thing in his dreams, that terrible day in the crystal city beneath the Forgotten City, when Sephiroth had stripped all meaning and sanity from the world with a single stab of his sword. He relived that moment when he was awake, far more often than he let on to Tifa, but in his dreams he relived the moment as it had felt then. He could feel her blood as it poured from her heart onto his hands and onto the blade of his sword, the sword that he had nearly killed her with himself, could feel the warmth as it left her body with the soul that he had loved and never forgotten. He dreamed that every night, and had come to accept it as a burden on his soul forever, for his weakness, for his failure in dealing with Sephiroth, and in fact had grown to almost look forward to the dream. Because even though she died in the dream, for a few, brief, shining moments, Aeris lived in his mind.
On this night, though, the dream changed, although at first Cloud could not tell you in what way.
As always, he walked down the crystal stairs that led to the endless green pool beneath the Forgotten City, those who had been there with him (Tifa and Barret) mere shadows at his side. He was aware that the sword he carried with him, slung over his back, was not that of the one he had used that day, but the awesome Ultima Weapon, a fact that he can tell by the mere weight of the gigantic war blade on his back. He looked down and saw Aeris, on the platform at the center of the pool, praying for the power that should have saved them, the power of Holy, the power that had failed. It occurred to him, for the first time, that if he had the ability to do so, he could save Aeris by going not to her, but to where Sephiroth hid and killing the bastard then and there…or by simply warning Aeris by speaking. Yet he did not. He wondered, as he drew closer to her, if perhaps he enjoyed seeing her die, in some sick, warped fashion; it was a thought that he had had before, on those nights when he succumbed to weakness and her presence and spent the night with Tifa. Perhaps part of him, the weak part that Sephiroth had used to control him did. Most of him doubted that.
He stepped out onto the platform that was level with the pool, and as before, he told Tifa and Barret to stay back, to allow him to deal with this, and, inexplicably, they did. He had already demonstrated the capability of doing physical harm to Aeris at the Temple of the Ancients, and yet they had let him go to her. Had they wanted her dead? Had Tifa hated Aeris to the point that she had allowed him to go to her, knowing the violence that he was capable of, so he would eliminate her rival? Thoughts such as these have occurred to him before, and usually he suppressed such thoughts…tonight, he does not. He stepped across the platforms that led to Aeris, who as before does not move, lost in prayer. She had to know her death was coming, Cloud thought as he reaches over his shoulder and draws, as he had thought, Ultima Weapon from it's place and lifts it over his head. Curiously, he does not feel the presence of Sephiroth's will in his mind, and he realized that he had never felt the force that moved him that day in any of his dreams. He wondered why as Ultima Weapon rushes towards Aeris' face, waiting for Barret's shout to stop him and the dream to continue on it's normal course.
Which was when Aeris said, in a whisper "Why haven't you saved me?"
Cloud froze in place, his heart stopping in his chest. "What did you say?" he asked.
Aeris looked up at him, her eyes that same shade of tranquil green that he had always been struck by and had loved. "Why haven't you saved me Cloud? You know the way, the path…you've known it since our souls met after you defeated Sephiroth…why do you wait…?"
Cloud found he had no good answer. "I…I do not know why, Aeris. Perhaps I'm afraid to try to save you. Or perhaps the dead should stay in their place."
"Is that you speaking, or the voice of others speaking for you?" Aeris asked.
Cloud knew what she meant: he had wanted to journey to the Promised Land, to the place where spirit and life met most closely, from the moment he had realized that he could find his way to her there, and always something had stopped him. Reeve, who had declared the Northern Crater off-limits after the fallout from Meteor had settled; Barret, who had finally learned how to let go of the past after the salvation of the Planet, and, yes, Tifa, who had not said anything, but whose desires weren't all that well hidden in the need that she showed in her ruby eyes. All of these forces had gotten in his way, and he had let Aeris go…let saving the closest thing to an angel the world had ever known stay dead. "I…I want to save you," he confessed.
"Then do so, Cloud. Save me…you don't have to love me…just save me."
The dream began to fade then, and Cloud knew that he had finally found his way.
Cloud awoke in the bed that he had spent his childhood in, alone, the sound of Aeris' voice still ringing in his ears. He sat up, one hand going to the mattress beside of him, and he found it cool to the touch. Tifa had been there earlier, her sadness and loneliness again tempting him into a night of desperate lovemaking that had seemed less an act of love and more an act of contrition. She always left him alone after giving herself to him, and Cloud had been content to let that happen, but now, he was not that certain if he appreciated it. Keeping me here, in a town of the dead, all to herself, for her pathetic needs…
Pain filled Cloud's head then, the same agony that had come to him when Sephiroth had tried to control him, and he gripped his skull with both hands…No, that's not it! Tifa loves me! I'm the user here! She has always wanted to help you; she saved you from the darkness of your past!
She saved you? The darker voice within him asked, mockingly. She waited until her inaction had left you nearly dead, left the world at risk, left Aeris dead! Then she deemed it worthy to help you!
"No," Cloud whispered. "She isn't like that…she was just scared…"
Scared of what? Of losing you to a ghost, a ghost that you can save!
"Aeris," Cloud said, and with that the doubt faded. He got out of bed and got dressed in his standard combat gear, the clothes that he had been given by Zack after their escape from Nibelheim and that he now wore to honor the friend that had given his life to save him. He put on his armour, the Safety Bit accessory that had proven so useful in the Northern Crater, and collected his materia from the drawer of the nightstand beside of the bed. A part of him found it humorous that he could store his materia so carelessly after all the times that Yuffie Kisaragi had threatened to (and had in fact had managed to) steal his materia. "Times change Yuffie," he thought, placing the materia in the slots of his Escort Guard. Finally, he took the sheath that held Ultima Weapon from its place in the corner of the room. The most powerful blade in existence, forged out of the very form of one of the WEAPONS itself, it made Cloud perhaps the strongest fighter alive. Certainly strong enough to achieve what everyone thought to be impossible. He slipped Ultima Weapon over his shoulder and for one last second thought about what he was doing. I could be happy with Tifa. That was why we came here, to try to make sense of the madness of our lives. But is it wrong for me to try to save Aeris when her death was such a crime?
The pain shook Cloud again, and even as he dealt with it, he realized that he had no choice…saving Aeris was his destiny. With a sigh that he did not even realize he had uttered, Cloud stepped out into the night and turned his back on his past forever…
The night was still beautiful, Tifa Lockhart thought.
She sat on the well at the center of town, the same well that, years ago, a young Cloud Strife had asked her to meet him at, to tell her that he was leaving Nibelheim to try to become a member of SOLDIER. That night, as was the case now, the sky overhead had been a canopy of stars, the constellations wheeling in endless, perfect symmetry. As the years had passed, Tifa had convinced herself that the beauty of that night had been a trick of memory, but sitting here, she was forced to admit that it was the case, that it was beautiful at night here. That at least had not changed. So much more had, after all. She hugged her knees to her chest and tried not to dwell on the darkness of her life, of what had motivated her to come here, alone, nearly every night to watch the stars. Most nights she fell asleep here, some nights her eyes filled with bitter tears. How did we come to this? she wondered. How did Cloud and me ever come to this?
It was supposed to be different, she knew; it always was supposed to be different when you were in love. Her love for Cloud had been forged through the horrors of the war against Sephiroth, through their combined experience in the Lifestream, and on the night before they all had ventured into the Northern Crater, making love under the stars…all of that should have earned her a happy ending. She had not yet found one. Coming to Nibelheim was supposed to bridge their past and present, heal their mutual scars…her loss of her father, his loss of his mother…that Nibelheim represented. Instead, their lives had spiraled into a pattern of madness and isolation, Cloud becoming more detached by the day. Desperately, she had tried anything to hold his attention; finally offering herself to him as if the meaningless sex they had could replace true love. Of late, the nights that she spent with him were filling her with shame, especially since, at times, the name he called out at the climax of the act was seldom hers. Aeris, she thought.
It was not like she hated Aeris; in fact, despite the fact that both of them had been vying for Cloud's affections, she had considered the beautiful young Cetra to be a friend, a rather good one at that. Her death at the hands of Sephiroth had been clearly a tragedy, and she had missed Aeris greatly…but in Cloud's case, it was different. Cloud was two people, the broken child and the crude copy of Zack that Hojo's experiments had inadvertently created, and both had cared for Aeris in different ways. And all of that had gotten mixed up with Cloud's fears and doubts and had created the weakness that was eating away at him…the weakness that she fed by succumbing to her own desires. As sad as her life was now, she was with Cloud, and would be so until she died…
The door to his mother's home opened, and Cloud, in full battle dress, marched out into the town square. Tifa nearly called his name, then she saw the look in his eyes, his blue Mako eyes; he was not there, not really. She stood up, pulling her robe tighter around herself, and watched as Cloud made his way to the makeshift chocobo stable that they had built at the end of the row of homes that led to the Shinra Mansion, not much more than a shed that held her Black chocobo and Cloud's Gold chocobo. She frowned and got to her feet as Cloud opened the doors and went in. Where is he going? She leaped down to the ground and ran over to the shed, arriving just in time to see Cloud take his saddle and place it on the back of his chocobo, Strider. Her Black chocobo, Emmy (named for a dog that she had once owned) made nervous "wark" sounds, stamping her feet in her stable; Strider did not seem too happy either. "Cloud? Where are you going?" she asked him.
Cloud strapped the saddle on and tightened the straps on it before he said, "I'm through with Nibelheim, Tifa. I'm going to save Aeris."
"To…save Aeris? Cloud…Cloud, she's dead." This was what Tifa had feared, what she had hoped to avoid, why she was secretly pleased that Reeve had ordered the Northern Crater off-limits, at least to what remnants of the Shinra that obeyed him. Aeris was dead. Nothing could change that. "You can't save her."
"I can and I will. She asked me to, Tifa."
Tifa took a step closer to him. "When…when did she ask you to?"
"Tonight, in my dreams. She spoke to me in my dreams before, when she left to go to the Forgotten City…it's not impossible."
But she was alive then;
Tifa thought but did not say. "Cloud, she's gone. You buried her yourself.""Only her body. I can save her soul…if I can reach it. The Promised Land…it's her only chance."
Tifa was terrified. Cloud had never behaved like this, speaking with his normal total certainty yet everything else about him the broken, submissive manner he had as a thrall of Sephiroth. Perhaps there was more than one way to lose your mind…"Cloud, you know that Reeve closed off the Northern Crater…"
"Who said that the Promised Land was there?" Cloud took Strider by the reins and led the chocobo towards the door. "I will find her, Tifa."
Tifa reached out, meaning to take Cloud by the shoulder. "Cloud…"
With a frightening casualness, Cloud backhanded Tifa across the face, the blow a light one by his awesome strength but still enough to knock her to the ground, seeing stars. Emmy let out a squeal of protest at seeing her mistress suffer, but quieted as Cloud shot the chocobo a baleful gaze. " I don't want you," he spat coldly at her. "Follow me and I will kill you, Tifa."
Tifa lay on the ground, weeping, as Cloud mounted Strider and rode off into the night. Oh Cloud, why? What are you trying to do now? She cried because of the pain she felt, cried for the loss of her friend and loved one, and cried because, to her everlasting shame, she still loved Cloud Strife.
Cloud rode in the darkness, uncertain of his destination, part of him burning in misery at what he had done to Tifa, but that was buried under his overwhelming need to save the one thing that meant more than anything had to him…to save Aeris from the darkness of death. He rode off, under the stars that had watched him make the same sort of promise to Tifa, all those years ago…