Lord Wyldon's Nightmare
A/N: The main plot of this story is borrowed from Nightmares II by Commet. Other than that this is all original. This story takes place at the end of Page. There are about 50 to 60 ladies in this troop, but only the main five talk and have personalities.
Lord Wyldon is at the PRACTICE FIELD with a group of squires when a messenger comes running from the palace.
Messenger: (slightly out of breath) Lord Wyldon, *big breath* the King wishes to speak with you immediately. It is a very important matter.
Lord Wyldon:(to messenger) Of course. (turns to the squires) Continue with the exercise you were working on, you know what to do. If your commander was called away in battle-
Neal: (under his breath) Here we go again.
Lord Wyldon:(not hearing Neal) You would have to continue on your own, without a leader, or appoint, without discussion, a new leader.
Without another word Lord Wyldon turns and walks away.
Kel: I wonder what the King wants to talk to him about.
Cleon: Who knows?
In the KINGS OFFICE area.
Lord Wyldon walks in, to find King Jonathan standing by his desk, looking at a map.
King Jonathan: Come in Lord Wyldon, please take a seat.
Lord Wyldon: Thank you your Majesty. What service may I provide you with?
King Jonathan: I have just received an urgent warning from a reliable source. Here.
King Jonathan pushes a piece of paper so it faces Lord Wyldon.
Lord Wyldon: (reading to himself) "Your Majesty, there is a threat of a major attack on Pirates Swoop, that would wipe out the city, and make a safe haven for attackers from the Cooper Islands. Soldiers and/or guards are needed as soon as possible."
King Jonathan: As you know, all of our reserved armies and guards are off defending our borders, or fighting off spidren. The guards around the palace are of course in great need as well. So I would like you to train the ladies of the court, and prepare them for taking over the palace guard, so we can send the guards here to help at Pirates Swoop.
Lord Wyldon:(aggravated, and confused) The ladies of our court do not have the potential to learn how to fight! They are too weak and fragile! And they would never want to wear pants in place of their beautiful gowns!
King Jonathan: I have already discussed this with the ladies, and the majority are willing to go through with my plan.
Lord Wyldon: If you say so your majesty. And Who will train these LADIES?
King Jonathan: YOU. Didn't I just say that?!?
Lord Wyldon: What?!?!?!?!
King Jonathan: You have done so well with Squire Keladry, I thought of you for the job right away.
Lord Wyldon: What about the Lioness? Can't she take the job?
King Jonathan: Of course not, she is at her home working hard to protect it, using what little help she can get.
Lord Wyldon: But!
King Jonathan: No "buts", just do as I say.
Lord Wyldon: (in a sad voice) Yes your Majesty. When do I begin?
King Jonathan: Tomorrow.
The next day on the PRACTICE FIELD a big group of ladies in breaches, and tunics, stand ready to learn.
Lady 1:(talking to her friend, both fidgeting with their clothes) Does this look okay on me? I mean I did my best, but how good can you look wearing a bag?
Lady 2: (Lady 1's friend) You look fine, but these pants make me look fat!
Lady 3: I hope our instructor is cute!
Lord Wyldon walks up to them, everyone groans. Whispers start.
Lady 3: Nope, definitely not a looker.
Lady 1: I heard he is really mean!
Lady 4: If he singles me out, and says I'm bad, I'll cry. I can't stand humiliation.
Lady 5: I don't care who he is, I'm doing my best!
Lady 2 : You just keep telling yourself that dear.
Lady 1: Oh yeah I've heard he's really mean, and-
Lord Wyldon: Silence!
Everyone quiets down.
Lady 1: (in a loud whisper, finishing her sentence) very rude to ladies like ourselves.
All the ladies laugh, and Lady 1 turns bright red. Lord Wyldon does not look happy.
Lady 5: I think we've got him angry.
Lady 2: I think he's always like that.
Lord Wyldon: Ladies. Silence now!!
Everyone fall quiet.
Lord Wyldon: Thank you. Now all of you have been gathered together here to learn about the arts of protecting your home.
Lady 3: (under her breath) Tell us something we don't know!
Lady 4: hehe
Lord Wyldon: Stop Talking, didn't you learn anything about keeping your mouths shut!
No one answers.
Lord Wyldon: As I was saying! You have been gathered together here to learn about the arts of protecting your home. We will start today with archery-
Lady 1: Oh I'm good at that!
Lord Wyldon: BE QUIET!!!!!!! (calm and collected) We will start with archery, and the basics of hand to hand combat. As well as horse back riding.
Lady 5: We know how to ride a horse, we're not stupid!
Lord Wyldon: (losing his temper) I never said that!! NOW WOULD YOU ALL GO TO THE ARCHERY RANGE! PLEASE!!!!!!!
Lady 2: Okay, okay. Don't blow up or anything.
At the ARCHERY RANGE. Lord Wyldon is helping Lady 4.
Lord Wyldon: What is wrong with you! Just do it like I said.
Lady 4: (holding back tears) Okay.
Lady 4 : Tries again, and the arrow goes straight to the ground.
Lord Wyldon: Your arrow is too loose on the bow. Can't you hold it straight?!
Lady 4: (now crying) I- I- I'm trying! This is my first time at archery!
Lord Wyldon: (to himself)Oh Gods above help me! She doesn't know any thing! (to Lady 4) Stop crying like a baby! You can't see through flooded eyes!
Lady 4:*sniff* okay...*sniff*
Next comes HAND TO HAND COMBAT. This time Eda Bell takes over to give Lord Wyldon a break. Everything goes well and the ladies leave slightly bruised, but happy.
Lady 5: That was fun! Eda is super nice.
Lady 3: Yeah, not at all like Lord Wyldon!
Lady 5: Oh Gods, here he comes.
Lady 2: At least next is horse back riding, we can all do that.
Lady 3: Then we retire to our rooms for the day, not bad.
Lady 1: You're optimistic!
Lord Wyldon walks right past them and goes to talk to Eda.
Lord Wyldon: How were they?
Eda Bell: Not bad at all. Slow to learn, but that's because they are older than most of my students, but very motivated. A lot of the ladies know some stuff already because of the spidren.
Lord Wyldon: Not bad?!?! They are horrible! They don't know the tip of the arrow from the butt, and they chatter so much!
Eda Bell: They chatter because they don't feel you are in command, to them you are that mean old guy who-
Lord Wyldon: Mean old guy?!?!?! Is that what you think I am! I thought you Shang learn some respect for your elders!
Eda Bell: Lord Wyldon, calm down please, I didn't mean to insult you. It just you have to win the respect of these ladies, and you won't get it by losing your temper.
Lord Wyldon: Oh I see so now I have to CHANGE because of some unruly group of giggling girls?!?!
Eda Bell: If you want to serve your King and country, keep your reputation, and keep your job. The King is proud that you have train a female page, and now squire, successfully, and does not wish to be failed.
Lord Wyldon: And when did you become the Kings best friend?!
Lord Wyldon storms off to the riding fields.
Lord Wyldon: FOLLOW ME!!
Lady 4: What's wrong with him ?
At the STABLES, each lady has found her horse, or has been give a palace horse. They now prepare to mount.
Lady 1: Where's the foot stool? I can't get on this thing with out a foot stool!
Lady 2: Is it okay if I ride side saddle?
Lord Wyldon: I thought you girls knew how to ride!
Lady 5: We do, or at least I do!
Lady 2: We know how to ride!
Lady 1: Just not how to mount!
Lord Wyldon: What am I going to do with you girls!!
Lady 1: We could start with mounting.
Lord Wyldon: Don't talk back to me! I will be respected! Do you here me!
Lady 3: Yes we do! But you have to respect us too!
Lord Wyldon: Respect you! I do respect you!
Lady 5: Oh really, I couldn't tell!
Lord Wyldon: If I didn't respect you I wouldn't be teaching you!
Lady 4: No if you didn't respect the King you wouldn't be teaching us! You don't care about us at all!
Lady 2: And to think he has two daughters, oh those poor, poor girls.
Lord Wyldon: I DO RESPECT YOU!! Now stop it and get on those horses!
Lady 3: Nope, you don't respect us we don't respect you!
Lord Wyldon: What is this with respect!
Lady 5: You should know! You're the one who is always giving speeches about it to the pages and squires!
Lord Wyldon: And how would you know?
Lady 5: Because my little sister is Squire Keladry.
Lord Wyldon: Oh no, not another one from that family!
They continued to argue late into the afternoon, and by the time the bell had chimed for dinner, they had finely mounted their horses, and were about to start riding them.
Lord Wyldon: Tomorrow! Here! Don't be late!
Lady 2: (sweet voice) Yes sir.
Classes continue as the first day went. No one really winning the argument until one day after hand to hand combat, at the PRACTICE ROOM, Eda Bell approached Lord Wyldon.
Eda: Lord Wyldon, may I speak with you alone for a moment?
Lord Wyldon and Eda walk off toward the kitchen.
Lady 2: OooooooOoooooo
Lady 4: I wonder what's up? She looks pissed off!
Lady 3: She always tells us what's up. I'm sure she'll inform all of us when she cools off.
Meanwhile in EDA'S OFFICE, which is near the kitchen, Lord Wyldon and Eda Bell were in a loud and angry argument.
Lord Wyldon: (already losing him temper) That's what I most despise about girls! Those back stabbing idiots! Why the hell would they go telling you their troubles!
Eda: (calm) They tell me things because they trust and respect me.
Lord Wyldon: (outraged) RESPECT!!! That's all those girls know about isn't it! They KNOW all about it but they don't use it! Not to ME they don't! And when I ask why they say I don't respect THEM!
Eda: (slightly startled by this display of temper) You should work on your *gulp* temper. The ladies don't feel comfortable around you because of your temper.
Lord Wyldon: MY TEMPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Eda: yeah
Lord Wyldon: (sharp tonged and annoyed) What did you want to talk to with me about anyway!
Eda: The girls say that they-
Lord Wyldon: And you LISTEN?!?!
Eda: Of course! I listen to them and believe them, because what they say does not surprise me.
Lord Wyldon: So your on THEIR side!
Eda: (losing her temper more and more as she talks) I'm not on any side! I'm trying to help all of you so these girls can LEARN SOMETHING! (calm as if the sudden yell was what she had needed to get out of her system) That's what they said. They spend so much time arguing with you they don't get a chance to learn.
Lord Wyldon: (confused) It's not my fault they can't learn, and insist on arguing.
Eda: They are your students and if they aren't learning, it's your responsibility to get them to. And I don't mean forcefully.
Lord Wyldon: How else will they learn if not by force?
Eda: By enjoyment, of interest.
Lord Wyldon: What I teach is not enjoyable!
Eda: But it can be interesting.
Lord Wyldon: None of those girls are interested in this! All they care about is who goes to the ball with who!
Eda: No they care about respect, and they are overjoyed with the chance to serve and protect their King.
Lord Wyldon: Oh! Really!
Eda: Ask them yourself.
Lord Wyldon: Watch ME!
At the PRACTICE FIELDS Lord Wyldon looks at the girls nervously.
Lady 1: What's eating him?
Lady 2: You'd think he was afraid of us or something!
Lady 4: Maybe he is.
Lord Wyldon: (quieter than usual) Ladies, we need to have a conference.
Lady 3: Wow! What did Eda tell him! He's different .
Lord Wyldon: I am?!
Lady 5: Yeah, your nerves.
Lady 2: Your never nerves!
Lord Wyldon: (scared) I-I-I'm not?!
Lady 3: Nope. What did you wan to talk about?
Lady 1: You never wanted to talk to us!
Lord Wyldon: (now slightly insane) I've CHANGED!!!!!!!!! Oh no what have you done! All of you! (insane) I can't take this! I must change back! How can I face myself again! How can I face my friends!
Lady 4: He has friends?
Lord Wyldon:(now frantic) I did, but who will want to be my friend now?!
Lady 5: He's lost it.
Lord Wyldon: That's right I'll lose everything! My daughters will became fighters, my friends will hate me! and it's all because of you ladies. Look what you've done!
Lady 2: That poor, poor man.
Lord Wyldon goes running off toward the castle holding his head, and shaking with isanity.
In the KING'S OFFICE. Lord Wyldon comes running in. The King is in a conference.
King: Lord Wyldon would you mind I'm busy.
Lord Wyldon: I don't care. I resign! I'm not training those ladies! No, In fact I'm going for a long vacation and relaxing! No!! I'd never do that! No, I'm going to Pirate's Swoop to help the Lioness! No!!! The Lioness is a woman worrior! Never! I'm-I'm-I'm....
King: I'm very disappointed with you Lord Wyldon!
Lord Wyldon!
Lord Wyldon!
Lord Wyldon!
Lord Wyldon!
King: Lord Wyldon!
Lord Wyldon wakes to find himself with his head on his desk, he had been sleeping.
King: I'm very disappointed with you!
Lord Wyldon: I'm sorry sir! I'm sorry! I just-
King: Falling asleep at your desk?! I thought you had more Respect for your work!
Lord Wyldon: I respect you! I do! It's.........(double take, usual voice) Sorry sir! It will never happen again!
King: (confused) Okay...Oh, and you have a new female page.
Lord Wyldon: NO!!