Prompt: Sometimes, he thinks he sees her. For a fleeting moment she will appear on the other side of the street; just as beautiful as he remembers her. His precious Rose. But before he can reach her, before he can even whisper her name she's disappears. It happens again and again, on different planets, at different times until he admits quietly to himself that he's gone bad. It's easier than that flicker of hope that burns both of his hearts. Because he knows that in the end of the day, he has no right to happiness. He's just a mad man with a box, always running, always leaving a mess behind. It's his curse.
But sometimes… it changes. When he's sitting alone somewhere, anywhere in all of time and space, when he's alone without the Ponds, he can almost feel her. Sometimes he can almost touch her right in front of him.
He can see her brilliant smile and honey eyes, he feels the ache to want to hold her and kiss her so deeply and for so long that the universe will have no choice but to stop for just one moment. One single moment so that he can finally hold her close and maybe, just maybe, if he were to be lucky, he'd be able to tell her what he had hidden for so many years while they ran together.
But then he blinks, or maybe he just opens his eyes and he's forced back to the crushing reality. She's not here. She won't ever be on this side of the universe again. She would never hold his hand again. She'd never smile at him so widely he'd briefly wonder if it hurt. She would never have to see the man that he had become in her absence.
A coward. A mad man running with his box. Sometimes he longed for the days as the soldier, as the bubbling man who took her to smell apple grass. He longed for movie nights and cuppas late in the kitchen, he longed to feel her pressed against him in a slow dance… or an extra tight hug. He longed to hear her laugh. Who was he fooling? She must know he had always been this man, this cowardly remorseful man.
He never said the words. Not through the adventures, through the close calls and moments that linger moments too long. Not even through a tiny gap between their universes. Not even when she made the impossible, possible and he was running to her. Running to his salvation, his hearts, his everything. He left her there, with the metacrisis. He should have taken her hand and run back to the TARDIS and flown them as far and as fast as he could away.
It should have been no surprise then that when he finds himself sitting alone in a park in London, that he barely notices that someone has sat beside him. He just knows that when he glances up and finds him transfixed on gorgeous whiskey brown eyes that his immediate reaction is to flinch. Hands coming up to cover his face as he hunches over slightly, like the wind was knocked out him. Just as it always is when he sees her.
"This is it. I've gone mad." He whispers into his hands.
He knows that as much as he wants to touch her, as soon as his eyes open he'll be crushed once again and he'll end up on some life endangering adventure trying to outrun her memory until they end up right back here.
But he also knows that he should say something, anything really. Because even it's his imagination, at least for one precious second she had been by his side again.
"I'm sorry." The broken words soft off his lips. Because he is sorry, he's sorry he ever dragged her into his world. And he hates himself for taking her hand and saying, "Run." All those years ago. Not because he regrets the decision but because she deserved to be able to live a normal human life, he just destroys everything he touches. He had loved her so fiercely and he also knows she never regretted being with him… yet still he must apologize.
"Don't apologize." The words are warm like coming home and sweet like honey.
But still he pauses. He waits for a broken fragmented moment. Knowing she didn't speak. She's not here. Yet still he must be going mad, well madder, with age. Because he didn't hear what he thinks he heard. He's speechless but he feels the body beside him begin to move.
He hesitates to open his eyes again, but when gentle hands take both of his, his eyes snap open, only to find her kneeling in front of him, his eyes locked on her soft gaze in seconds. For the first time everything comes to a screeching halt, no rational thought can pass through his mind, nothing could possibly take his attention from this moment.
No, not when she's smiling at him like that, her thumbs making comforting circles on the backs of his hands, not when she's right here… but she can't be.
"Rose?" the words aren't confident; they are as broken as he is. Because if this is all just in his head..., then all of this will be enough to drive him off the brink. He lifts one of his hands to cup her cheek, finding her soft smooth skin.
"'Lo." She smiles widely and he can feel a mirroring smiling splitting his face.
"Rose." In a flash, he's standing, pulling her up with him, pulling her so tight to his chest that a rational part of his mind flashes in alarm thinking he could have hurt her. But he hasn't. Her arms are wrapped around him so tight he can hardly breathe. And he's happy, insanely, terrifyingly happy as the smell of her shampoo invades his senses.
They both pull back just a bit, just enough so he has to tilt his head down a bit and her to tilt hers up to meet eye to eye.
He knows there should be a million questions spilling out of his mouth, he knows he should be suspicious… but he can't. At least, not right now.
"'Ello." He murmurs with a beaming smile. She smiles, resting her hand on his cheek.
"Doctor?" She murmurs, eyes soft and brimmed with tears. He hums gently, nuzzling her warm palm on the cold of his skin. "It does need sayin'." He pauses and his hearts burn, still he smiles. He takes her hand from his cheek in both of his hands and he takes a moment to marvel that this is truly her hand, before pressing a kiss to the back of it softly, lingering a moment to calm his racing hearts.
He pulls away and letting her hand lie on his chest so he can hold her face tenderly, making sure to wipe the small tear that escapes her eye before he opens his mouth.
"Rose Tyler." He smiles and she peers at him with hopeful eyes. "Beautiful, smart, amazing, Rose Tyler. I am irretrievably in love with you and I am yours, if you'll have me." He adds the end bashfully, his floppy hair adding a bit to this faces boyish charm.
"Doctor," She smiles and brushes the hair from his face. "My Doctor." She smiles widely and a tear falls. "I am in love with you, now and forever."
There's no pause, no interruption worthy enough to distract him as he pulls her tight up into his embrace and their lips find each other like it's where they're always meant to be. They hold onto each other for dear life, neither wanting to ever be parted. And just for a moment. One teeny tiny moment, the universe slows and it's like the clouds break. She is his happiness. She is his light. She his is partner. She is his Bad Wolf and he her Oncoming Storm.
For one moment across all of reality, he had hope.
And when they part and the world starts turning again, he takes her hand in his own, squeezing it tightly before taking the first steps, pulling her with him as he smiles mischievously.
"Run." She laughs freely and they take off. Running across the stars, the madman in his box with his precious girl at his side.
Just as it should be.