Ratchet and Clank: Insert Witty Pun Here

By: Stardust

Ratchet and Clank and the universe in which they live belongs to their respective owners.

Chapter 1: Debt Dilemma

Nundac Asteroid Ring

Ratchet stretched his legs after the hyperspace jump. The long journey was coming to an end as the Apogee Space Station came into few. It had been a few years since he and his pal Clank had saved the galaxy once more from a gigantic mess. What part of 'retirement' doesn't the universe understand? He had wondered after Neftin and Vendra were back in custody. This time, Ratchet didn't announce any retirement plans, fearful that it would only hasten any plans that the universe had for them. Instead they did odd jobs on Veldin, enjoyed some relaxation in Metropolis, and quite often visited their friend Talwyn at her space station. Sometimes she would join them on their short ventures across the galaxy. However with Cronk and Zephyr gone her duties at the space station fell solely on her.

"Ratchet to Talwyn, ETA five minutes. Requesting permission to land." Ratchet said into Aphelion's comm when he was just a few minutes out. Soon Talwyn's face appeared on the screen. Ratchet held back a sigh as he took in her appearance. She was turning thin and gaunt, and every time they talked she seemed beyond tired. He knew to expect this after she lost Cronk and Zephyr, but it seemed to never end.

"Talwyn here. Nice to see you guys a little early, I found more chores for you guys to do." she said with a poorly hidden yawn. "I'm opening the docking bay doors now, see you in a few." and with that her face disappeared. Clank looked at Ratchet's distant stare into the ship's dash.

"I believe it would be best if you re-directed your sight to the space station, Ratchet." Clank stated, bringing Ratchet out from his thoughts.

"Yeah yeah I know..." Ratchet said dismissively as he effortlessly guided Aphelion into the space station having done it a hundred times before. Soon the gentle clunk of the landing gear was heard and the soft swoosh of the airlock as the bay doors closed. He no sooner landed onto the metal floor of the space station than he was assaulted with a hug from a certain Markazian. He had grown a bit over the years, with his head coming almost in line with Talwyn's. At least now he wasn't so much of a shorty.

"Ratchet! Good to see you." She said with a notedly strained voice. Ratchet also noticed that her usual death grip on him was lacking. He hid his worry as he hugged and greeted her back before he and Clank retrieved the equipment Talwyn requested from their ship. "Come on guys, it's all this way." She led them through the all too familiar space station, though these days it was becoming more and more sparse as Talwyn had to sell most of the backup and unused equipment to cover the bills. Ratchet and Clank did everything they possibly could during their visits, knowing that the pressure of keeping the space station up and running was taking a toll on her grieving self.

"Well, here it is." she announced with a tired voice as she showed the duo the reason for her latest call; a broken generator. "I don't know what happened, I was just replacing a cracked casing when the thing blew. I've been redirecting all available power from the remaining one to keep the station stable, but I'm afraid it's too much of a strain on it." she paused, looking at the blasted thing "I think I might've knocked the capacitor coil out of place...Cronk usually took care of these sort of things." she added, her voice fading.

Ratchet looked at it, immediately seeing the problem, and that she was right; but then a thought occurred to him. "Why aren't you using any of the backup generators Tal?" he asked confused.

Talwyn looked at him with a sign of hurt, simply stating. "I had to sell them...all of them."

Ratchet and Clank both looked taken aback. There were many things that people sold when they were tight on bolts. But only the extremely desperate would sell backup power supply. Being adrift in space without any power for contacting help, or creating oxygen for that matter, was a very scary thought.

"Well don't you worry, we'll get this one back up and running..better as new even! The other one too." He said quickly as he and Clank got out their tools. Talwyn gave them a strained smile and left the room. Ratchet meanwhile turned to Clank "Something is seriously wrong Clank. Talwyn would know better than to run on such a restricted supply." Clank nodded his head in agreement. "You hang tight here...I'm going to talk with her." Ratchet said leaving and following Talwyn to her room. When he got there though, he was met with another worry, she was packing boxes.

"T-Talwyn, what's going on here? Are you moving or sumthin'?" He asked. Talwyn jumped in surprise of Ratchet's voice, but looked away quickly with only shame on her face.

"Something like that." she faintly mumbled, hugging herself.

"Well, look, if you're in trouble Tal, I'm here to help, Clank is here to help." he said sternly, seeing Talwyn's visage slowly crumble, he quickly stepped forward and added. "I'm not mad or anything...it's just I've watched you waste away out here and I don't see why you've been pushing us away when you so clearly need help running this place."

Talwyn shut her eyes and tried to stop him "Ratchet-" but the Lombax continued.

"You sell all your backup equipment, and now all of your stuff is in boxes? What's going on! Tell me!" Talwyn tried to interject again, but still he persisted. "If someone is shaking you down..." Ratchet said, thinking that her dilemma was caused by pirates, thugs, or other rogues.

"Ratchet I'm selling the station!" she yelled, her eyes watering.

"What?" he said incredulously, not believing his ears.

"I don't want to...I have to. Everything has to be gone in five days." Talwyn added. Ratchet motioned for more information and after and exasperated sigh, the Markazian gave up her secret. "The property and all of the equipment was paid off. But there are fees Ratchet. Galactic fees for running a domicile outside of any plant or sovereign nation. Fees for licenses to do research. And then of course, taxes." she slumped onto her bare mattress and Ratchet sat down next to her. "When my dad left...well he owed a little bit in back fees, but it wasn't anything that grants couldn't cover. And then Cronk and Zephyr each got a small but modest service check each year for their time spent in the Galactic Federation. Cronk and Zephyr took care of so much around here, I never even knew we owed anything. But over the years the grants got smaller and smaller...and now that Cronk and Zephyr are..."

Ratchet took her hand, cutting her off. He didn't want to see her like this, not after all the time they spent together. "How much do you owe Talwyn?" he said quietly, quickly calculating how many bolts he had to his name.

She hung her head and said quietly. "About 20 million..." Ratchet felt like he would faint. No wonder she looked horrible! She had a fortune of a debt to her name. It also surpassed his savings easily, but still, he felt he owed it to the two old warbots to look after her.

"Tal, how much time would three million bolts buy?" he asked just as quietly. She looked up at him in almost horror shaking her head 'no' while he just as vigorously shook his head 'yes'. "I will not let you get thrown out of your home Tal. You risked your life to save Veldin, I can surely risk a few bolts to help you save your home." He said sternly.

"But Ratchet, I could never ask you to do that." she said, amazed that he was so quick to fix her biggest problem.

"Well that's why I'm offering so you don't have to." he said, a smirk on his face. Talwyn sighed, giving in.

"Well...it'd give me about five months. But how in the world am I supposed to raise the other 17 million?" she asked, eying him. She wasn't about to let him waste his money on a lost cause.

"Well I'll work the fighting arenas, you can get back to research, and we'll get some more grants. Somehow Qwark was re-elected. Most likely illegally but I'll see if I can't pull some strings." Ratchet said with a smile. "Tal, we've faced far worse than taxes. With you, Clank, and I, we'll get through this easily."

Talwyn wiped her watery eyes and took a deep breath. "I just can't believe that you're willing to just drop everything to help me." she said.

Ratchet gave her a smug smile "Awww come on Tal, where else am I going to put my zero-G hover boot course?" he said with a chuckle. It also brought a genuine smile from Talwyn, something that Ratchet had missed for a long time.

"I'll be honest, it'll be a stretch, but it just might work...I can't thank you enough Ratchet." she said as she gave him another hug, though this time he could feel it was a bit stronger. "I'll get ready to leave for Meridian City once you and Clank fix the generator." she said as she left the room, with a bit more spring in her step.

Ratchet returned to the generator room to find Clank walking about in a jerky fashion clucking like a chicken. The confused hero picked up his buddy, only to drop him as he received one heck of a static shock. Clank seemed to come to and looked up at Ratchet. "Hmmm, it seems that my ion transistors did not agree with the generator's polarity rods." he said with his classic chuckle. Ratchet gave a laugh as he only wished he had had a camera.