AN: Hiyas! This fic wasn't my idea originally – it was inspired by a really cool doujinshi cover of the same title by Beasiesgal on deviantArt and the summary of the doujinshi underneath it, and she has graciously given me permission to post it here. If you like kakairu, go check out her gallery, it's full of good stuff!
Chapter 1: Falling Branches and a New Use for an Old Jutsu
Iruka was a shinobi school teacher. He was, by definition, extremely good at dodging projectiles of all sorts. But even ninjas can't see everything all the time.
The branch had come off in a storm that had passed through a few weeks ago, but instead of falling to the ground, it had been caught in the branches of other trees and hung there. Waiting.
It was a windy day, and the forest was rustling and whispering to itself as Iruka lead his class through the old trees. The children were also whispering to each other, in excitement. They'd been learning about stealth and concealment and the importance of both to a shinobi for the past month, and now they were finally going to get to put this new knowledge into practise! The class was fairly buzzing with eagerness.
Iruka was also buzzing, though for a different reason. This field trip was an important step in the lessons, but, even if it wasn't the Forest of Death, the woods still held dangers, and it was his job to bring his 20 or so pre-genin back safe and sound. Iruka's sense were on full alert, though he maintained a calm exterior. He didn't want to scare his students by being overly tense.
…not that it was likely that they'd be scared even then. They were pre-genin, after all, and every pre-genin knows, in their heart of hearts, that pre-genin is secretly a rank above ANBU when it comes to ninja skills. On second thought, maybe he should be a bit more tense. A little caution would be a good thing to instil in his students-
A errant rustling in the canopy stopped Iruka's thoughts in their tracks and had his hand on his weapons pouch, his eyes scanning the branches. The pre-genin around him paused. Their senses weren't sharp enough to distinguish an out-of-place rustle in a forest on a windy day yet, but they sure as heck knew how to read their teacher. About half of the class took Iruka's actions as a signal that it was time to begin the lesson and scattered, hiding in the bushes and trees nearby. Most of the rest of the class were uncertain how to interpret Iruka's actions and stayed close, though many rested their hands on the practise kunai or shuriken they had with them. Konohamaru interpreted they signals as a sign that an enemy nin was somewhere nearby and took a defensive stance with a kunai at the ready, holding his ground where he had been standing.
The next thing Konohamaru knew, there was a crashing sound from overhead, and things sped up considerably.
The dead branch, loosened they the wind, gave up its battle with gravity and fell – straight towards Konohamaru.
Iruka, having spotted the branch and seen where it was going to land, bolted forwards and grabbed Konohamaru, then leapt out of the way of the falling branch, shielding his student with his torso.
The branch's leaves were caught by a sudden gust of wind, which was just enough to send it slightly off course.
Iruka landed and set down Konohamaru.
The branch landed, one end of the ground, the other on the back of Iruka's head with a crack.
Iruka's eyes rolled up in his head, and he fell forward onto the ground and didn't move.
There was a moment's stillness, broken only by the rustling of the leaves. Then the pre-genin were crowding around their teacher, though not too closely. One of the earliest lessons at the academy was to not crowd an injured person and make it difficult for the medics to get to them. Whispers of 'sensei?' 'is he okay?' 'is he dead?' 'what do we do?' fluttered through the group.
A much louder voice cut through the panicked murmurings.
"SEXY NO JUTSU!"
The other students turned in shock to Konohamaru, who was picking up his – her – pack and scarf from the ground, pulling a piece of camouflage fabric, tying it around her hips like a skirt, and wrapping the scarf around her breasts. She was just tucking the end of in when the class regained its voice.
"What are you doing?"
"This isn't the time-"
"You jerk-"
"SHUT UP!"
Birds flew out of the trees with the force of Konohamaru's bellow. She stood glaring at the rest of her class, hands on hips. "Iruka-sensei needs a doctor! This way I'm big enough to carry him!"
The rest of the class was quiet. There were a few nods in the group.
Udon was the next to speak. "Hanabi-chan should take point," he said firmly, wiping his nose. "She can find the fastest way home."
Everyone turned to look at Hanabi. Hanabi looked back calmly. "Byakugan." One arm rose and pointed. "That way."
Konohamaru nodded. "You lead. Can someone help me get Iruka-sensei on my back?"
It caused quite a stir when a group of pre-genin emerged from the woods with a strange, oddly-dressed woman carrying Umino Iruka on her back and staggering a bit under the weight, led by Hyuuga Hanabi. The woman didn't stop walking, even when the rest of the group halted at the gates. She continued walking with an air about her that the only thing that was going to stop her determined trudge was death. The other students had hurried to catch up with her, leaving one of their number to explain to the confused guards at the gate what was going on. This odd procession continued all the way to the hospital lobby, where the woman walked up to the check-in desk and carefully set Iruka down. She straightened, smiled at the receptionist, turned into a worn-looking Konohamaru, and fell over sideways.
Hanabi stepped over him carefully and looked up at the shocked receptionist seriously. "We would like to arrange for a doctor to see Iruka-sensei. He got hit in the back of the head by a falling tree branch.: She glanced down at Konohamaru. "And if the doctor could look at Konohamaru-kun as well, that might be a good idea."
Well, there's chapter 1. I'm writing this under the impression that Sexy no Jutsu causes an actual physical change in the person using it, rather than being just an illusion – that's the impression I've gotten of it, anyways. I'd also like to mention that, while I have a fair bit of this story written, it's also all hand-written and there's still a ways to go, plus I'm starting a new term of University and I don't know how that will affect my writing. This translates to the fact that updates are, in all likelihood, going to be a bit spaced out – probably at the rate of about one a month. I'm doing this in order to maintain a fairly large buffer of pre-written material, so that, while there will be a long time between chapters, they'll still be posted at regular intervals.
That being said, I beg you to hang in there – the 'ghostly' part will begin in the next chapter!
If a month has come and I haven't posted, give me a poke and I'll fix that.