Erik slowly turned around in bed, eyes fluttering open with the dim light of the alarm clock next to him. 04:36 it read and immediately his eyes were wide open. His body jolted up, the unfamiliar thin sheets coiling together on his legs. It was only then that he noticed how the fabric moved and when looking down he confirmed that he was indeed naked. He cursed under his breath, eyes scanning the room that he knew way too well. It wasn't the first time that he ended up here, even though he'd rather die than admit that. After the rattle of curses a sigh escaped from his lips as he buried his face in his hands. Erik sat like this for a while until his mind started slipping away again. With another small jolt his body kicked itself out of the haze. Looking to his right, he spotted that mess of blonde hair laying next to him, happily snoring and clutching the pillow tightly as if his life depended on it.
Erik heaved himself out of the bed as soon as he had spotted his underwear in the mess on the floor. He caught a glimpse of his shirt by the door, indicating that his pants had to be somewhere around that place too. But all that could wait, he noted as he saw and felt the sticky mess on his abdomen and between his thighs. Great, just great. He groaned again for letting himself fall asleep without showering once again. He should've learned by now.
He'd learned not to bother with clothes while in this type of situation and immediately made his way to the bathroom. The towels and soap were still in the place he remembered and the shower didn't look like an alien spacecraft anymore. It made him shudder; the way he almost felt like he was at home. This wasn't a good sign…not at all.
His head slowly fell forward until it hit the shower's glass wall. The water was warm enough to make him doze off for the second time. Nevertheless, Erik kept his eyes screwed shut as the water kept pouring over his head and down his back. He'd told himself to stop, not do this anymore but here he was again, showering at Preben's place at 5 in the morning because apparently he had no self-control whatsoever. Again the swears rolled from his tongue as he continued to scrub every bit of Preben off of his skin. He didn't count the minutes he'd wasted in the shower or towelling himself off in the steaming bathroom but Erik wished he'd stayed a whole while longer when he saw Preben sitting upright in bed as he'd walked into the bedroom again. He decided to ignore him for now; his drowsy face told him that it would take a few more minutes before the situation would sink in.
Erik just continued to pick up the clothes he'd spotted earlier, making sure he wasn't wearing anything that didn't belong to him. The last thing he wanted was to have a reason to come back. Luckily he'd woken up early enough, sunlight shining through the drapes wouldn't have worked to his advantage right now. As soon as he started to jump into his skinny jeans, Preben started rubbing both his eyes with a subtle yawn.
"What are you doing?" He managed to bring out, eyes still not completely focused. Erik decided to ignore him as his jeans finally moved over his thighs. It took him 3 tries to button it properly, making him mutter some more before he could zip his jeans shut. Putting on his socks turned out to be even worse; jumping around until the fabric finally went pas his heel. He sighed, a hand running through that horrible bedhead of his until it stopped halfway through. A mild expression of shock showed on his face as he stared, eyes already scanning the whole floor for a second. He started walking around, making sure he checked every inch of the room.
"Where is it?" He hissed, almost under his breath and over and over as a mantra even though it was more like a prayer to get it back than anything else. He didn't notice Preben slowly waking up, cocking his head to the side as he watched.
As soon as Erik could feel himself getting desperate, Preben spoke up again.
"You mean this?" He asked, waving the golden hairpin around with a small smile playing on his features.
Erik didn't need any light to hit and reflect on it, the little shadows revealing its shape was enough for him to jump on the bed and desperately try to get a hold of the hairpiece.
Preben had decided to play the asshole again: keeping the thing high up in the air while keeping Erik in place so he could barely reach it. All the while he kept on smiling, even chuckling as the other made annoyed little noises in the back of his throat.
"C'mon, give it to me!" It was too late, early, whatever for this and Erik felt his patience slowly slipping away with every attempt his fingers made to hit the piece of metal.
Preben held it even higher, just because he could. His other hand ghosting over Erik's back, running small circles in the dip. Erik refused to acknowledge the goose bumps those fingers were creating on his bare skin and focused on the other hand instead. "I can give it to you in exchange for a ki-"
"For fuck's sake Preben, I'M LEAVING SO GIVE IT TO ME!"
Immediately the hand lowered and Erik snatches his beloved procession without thinking twice. Sitting upright he made sure the hairpiece was tucking every stray hair on his left behind his ear just as it was supposed to do. He ignored the hurt expression on the person below him with closed eyes, didn't let it go to his heart. They went over this, again and again; it didn't need an explanation now.
He didn't have the chance to lower his left hand, a firm grip on his wrist preventing him from doing so. He opened his eyes, shooting an angry glare at Preben before tugging to get his wrist free again.
"Goddammit, let me go." He muttered before Preben pulled him down a bit more.
There wasn't that typical grin on his face, only a small frown. Sad eyes didn't dare to look him straight in the eye and merely wandered every line the bed sheets were making at his stomach.
"What did I do?" He asked, gaze finally meeting his. Erik was still pissed, only taking a second of rest between the tugging in order to reply.
"Nothing, I did…" The annoyance in his own voice surprised him. Was it that bad? Mentally he shook it off, getting a more comfortable position on Preben's lap and as soon as his body relaxed the tension on his wrist did too. His own hands wrapped around his upper arms, holding himself tightly. That fake sense of comfort, comfort that he could find in the person sitting right in front of him but he didn't want to search it there; it only made him feel weak anyway. He looked away, didn't want Preben to see that broken feeling even though he'd always been bad at reading people.
"Then stay the night…?"
It took a few seconds for Erik to register that it was a question and not a proposal. He looked up again, meeting those eyes he never wanted to drown in, that freckled face full of childish hope in the world and its inhabitants and that flawless grin that had swept millions of off their feet already. He just never wanted to be that stupid but here he was, sitting on a bed they were both naked in half an hour ago. Erik snapped out of his haze when he felt that familiar hand brush against his cheek. A slow ghosting, as if Preben was scared to break him if he'd move any harsher. Erik's eyes closed and he felt himself leaning into the touch, hands slowly relaxing and letting go of his arms.
"It's over, isn't it?-" And Erik wanted to interject that there never was anything, nothing to be over but he remained quiet as he felt careful fingers taking hold if his chin, gently pushing it upwards a little.
Preben sighed and managed to smile a little. Erik knew it wasn't a genuine one, knew how it was breaking him apart inside because he was feeling just the same thing.
"-Just one more time, just to wreck it? I don't mind, this was never meant to work out anyway."
"It doesn't mean anything?" Erik asked, not even sure if he wanted to know the answer to that question. A no was the reason why he wanted to leave in the first place but…The question had so many meanings attached to it on how he actually felt about this whole thing. He just let Preben decide which one he liked more: The disappointed one or the one edged with relief.
Preben didn't nod or shake his head; his thumb merely moved over Erik's lips as he followed his own movement there. "Whatever you want it to be…." Was his answer before he sat up and kissed him, arms slowly wrapping around Erik's small frame. He held him tightly in a way that only he could; the way that made Erik feel most safe, as if he was finally home. Erik kissed back eagerly, not caring if it was close to morning or the fact that he had to wriggle his way out of his jeans for the second time that night. He just sighed into the kiss, both hands in Preben's hair. Now he was the one who clutched onto something as if his life depended on it.
And maybe, maybe that really was the case.