Mad Malibu Summer!
Hey there, true believers, as Stan "The Man" Lee would say! L1701E here, with a brand new summer story for you starring the American West Coast's premiere mutant team, the West Coast Misfits! It's madcap mayhem under the Malibu sun, complete with fights, flirting, action, adventure, and laughs ahoy! Enjoy the story!
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Marvel Comics and Sunbow Entertainment, except any I created or were given to me by others. Thank you!
It's Profile Time Again! *Crowd hoots, hollers, cheers, screams, chants, and claps. Some hold up signs.* Our latest edition takes another look at one of the most popular of the Malibu Joe team, everyone's favorite prank-pulling pilot, the ever-jolly Jester!
Jester
Real Name: Jerry Mahoney
Affiliation: US Air Force
Rank: Lieutenant
Primary Military Specialty: Fixed-Wing Pilot, Single and Multiple Engine Aircraft
Secondary Military Specialty: Intelligence, Morale Upkeep
Birthplace: Las Vegas, Nevada
Bio: Showmanship is in the blood in Jester's case. His father is the famous stand-up comedy legend/stunt pilot Andrew Mahoney, nicknamed the "Ace of Comedy Clubs", and Tandy Mahoney, a showgirl.
As a child, Jester grew up in airfields and knew the legends of comedy from Sam Kinison to Adam Sandler. From this mixed up-bringing, Jester learned how to be an ace pilot and to be a master of jokes, quips, and pranks. His father suggested he follow in his comedy footsteps due to his talent, but Jester wanted a job that was more guaranteed, so he joined the Air Force.
In the Air Force, Jester earned his nickname because of his tendency to crack jokes in mid-flight, and his constantly pranking his fellow squadron members. He was sent to GI Joe not just because of his piloting skills, but also because his commanders were tired of being constantly caught by Jester's pranks! In GI Joe training, he became the protégé of the Joe known as Ace. When he got into the Joes, Jester was sent to Malibu Base, where he would entertain his fellow Malibu Joes with stand-up comedy acts and his pranks.
In the Malibu Joe team, Jester quickly befriended machine gunners Rock 'n' Roll and Gunbarrel, the slightly goofy explosives fanatic Firestorm, and the martial artist Quick-Kick. His mortal enemy on the base is third-in-command Hardcase, who is a constant target of pranks. Also, Jester developed a crush on the Malibu Joe communications officer Dial-Up, but she often refuses his attempts at flirting. During the battle of Cobra-La, Dial-Up revealed she was slightly attracted to Jester when he was captured by Cobra-La forces.
Chapter 1: Early Morning Madness!
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(A road leading to Malibu, 5 AM)
Early morning. The sun was just beginning to rise and bathe the road with light. Right now it was mostly dark, with some glow of blue and violet. The sky was turning from slid black to a deep dark blue. A lone vehicle raced down the road. It was a six-wheeled black-and-white futuristic Winnebago with a spoiler in the rear. The vehicle was known as the California Cruiser, the official transport of the West Coast Misfits, the American West Coast's premier team of teenage mutants. Right now, five of the 13 kids that made up the team were driving. And they had a passenger.
"Man, I can't believe we pulled it off!" A 16-year-old African-American mutant laughed. His body was sleek, his hair was in cornrows, and he was clad in a throwback Lakers jersey, a backwards black baseball cap, yellow wristbands, and black jean shorts, as well as black Converse shoes. His name was Terrell Mason, a Compton native codenamed Velocity for his superhuman speed and ability to manipulate air and wind. He was driving.
"The Thunderbolt says, that was the best idea ever Terrell!" A Boston-accented voice said from the passenger seat. The passenger was a 13-year-old boy with semi-long wild brown hair and blue eyes, clad in a Rock t-shirt and blue jeans. His name was Kyle Wildfire, a Boston native codenamed Thunderbolt for his mutant powers to generate and control electricity.
"Shh, dudes! We might wake the passenger up!" An 18-year-old with long blond hair, mirrored shades, and clad in a pink-and-green Hawaiian shirt with a black Malibu shirt with blue jean shorts shushed with the typical California surfer bum accent. His name was Jack McCormick, codenamed Beast King for his mutant ability to transform into any animal.
"You do realize we're going to get into big trouble for this." Another teenage boy said with semi-long blond hair. He was clad in a black t-shirt and blue jeans. His hands only had three fingers each! His name was Longshot, a genetically-created warrior who had hollow bones, superhuman agility, the power to alter luck in his favor, and a mean skill with daggers.
"Relax, man!" A 15-year-old Hispanic boy laughed. He was clad in a white t-shirt with a black sleeveless leather jacket over it and jeans. His real name was Julio Richter, but he went by the alias Randy Gomez, a Mexican boy codenamed Rictor for his ability to generate low-frequency sonic waves from his hands, which he could use to increase the damage of his punches, or cause earthquakes.
"Shh, dudes!" Jack snapped. "You'll wake her up!"
"Relax, Jack. She'll be out for hours thanks to the tranquilizer dart!" Randy grinned, pointing at a dart on the passenger's neck. The passenger was a woman who was put in a burlap sack up to her neck. Her short blonde hair revealed her to be Emma Frost, the mentor of the Hellions, a team of teenage mutants trained to use their powers to serve the Hellfire Club. Kyle was familiar with them, as he had taken them all on and beat them easily twice. He smirked.
"Dumb Jabroni. Never noticed us until it was too late." Kyle grinned.
"Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz…" Emma snoozed peacefully.
"We're here!" Terrell snickered. The five West Coast Misfits emerged from the California Cruiser. Longshot and Jack, as a gorilla, carried the knocked-out Emma Frost. The five constantly shushed each other and told Longshot and Jack to be careful.
"Okay, man! String her up!" The five arrived at a flagpole. It was a flagpole right behind the "Welcome to Malibu" sign. Kyle attached a hook on the flagpole rope to a hole in the burlap sack Emma was in. Beast King then pulled her up to the top and tied the rope. A snoozing Emma hung on top like a flag.
"Emma Frost, we salute you." Kyle joked. The five boys gave her a mock salute.
"Okay, let's go now!" Terrell ordered. The five boys then raced back into the car and drove into town.
"Man dudes, that Frosty chick is going to be so totally mad when she wakes up." Jack laughed.
"Here's hoping she thinks those Hellion clowns did it." Longshot snickered.
"Let's go home and go to bed. The others are going to wonder where we are." Randy yawned.
"The Thunderbolt says that it's about freakin' time that little jabroni Emma Frost paid for screwing with the Wildfire family!" Kyle nodded. "I can only hope that when she wakes up, she realizes that the Wildfires are paying her back!"
"Easy Kyle, you animal!" Jack grinned.
Well, what a way to kick off a summer in Malibu, huh? What other pranks will the West Coast Misfits pull? How will Emma Frost react to her situation when she wakes up? What other madness will happen? Find out in the next chapter! Suggestions needed badly!