She walks into her bedroom, knowing he'll follow her and she doesn't have to wait long before she hears the light tread of his footsteps as he trails in behind her, walking right up to where she's standing next to the bed.
He wraps his arms around her from behind, his hands brushing across her stomach, the strong press of his biceps beneath her arms. She leans back into him and he brushes his lips across her temple, his touch gentle and loving and apologetic all at once and oh she loves this man. She really does.
"Be careful with my heart," she whispers, the words slipping from her mouth on a breath. She wants to say It's yours, but she already sounds like a Hallmark card and the words are too close to I love you, anyway, which she's definitely not ready to say. Not yet.
He hums in the back of his throat, his arms tightening around her. "I will be," he promises, his tone easy and confident, like there was any question and she trusts him, she does, but—
She doubted him. For a brief moment, she thought maybe he…would. Maybe he would cheat and she hates herself for it, hates her cautious heart that makes it easier for her expect the worst than just believe. Have faith in a man who spent four years proving that he won't hurt her. He makes mistakes, but he always apologizes. He always shows up at her door.
"I got scared, Castle," she admits, her voice soft. "There was a moment where I actually thought, just for a second that maybe you would—"
"I know," he says, cutting her off. "That doesn't come from nowhere, Kate. I-I've messed up. I've hurt you. I know that now. When I thought you didn't…want me, instead of talking to you about it, I ran off to Vegas with a piece of arm candy. And I'm sorry for that, I'm so sorry, Kate—"
She turns in his arms, silences him with a firm kiss. "I know, Castle," she murmurs. "Just…" She pauses, sighs. "How about we trust each other, okay? And talk. Let's talk to each other, instead of running away."
He smiles, nods eagerly. "No more secrets."
"No more secrets," she agrees and feels her chest ease at the words, her heart lifting.
No more secrets. It can't be that easy. But maybe it is, maybe it's enough, because she does trust him and he's here, a solid assurance beneath her hands, before her eyes and she's not scared anymore. She just wants to be with him and maybe that's the easy part after all.
She rocks up onto her tiptoes, pressing a light kiss to his mouth that quickly deepens. She doesn't think of the finding him on the couch with that woman straddling him. She doesn't think about the smudge of lipstick at the corner of his mouth, or her boobs in his face. She doesn't think about anything except how right it feels to be doing this with him. Even with all the unknowns and possibilities and questions, she's not afraid.
She presses closer, lifts into the kiss, her arms sweeping up around his neck. His palms press against her ribcage, holding her in place, his thumbs brushing the edges of her breasts through the fabric of her nightshirt. She groans a very quiet groan and feels the way his body tenses at the sound, coiling with need.
He pushes her backwards, his hands fumbling with the hem of her shirt, finally pulling it up and over her head. He lets out a heartfelt groan when he finds her bare underneath, his hands immediately reaching out to grip her hips and slide upwards, palms smoothing along the lines of her body.
She smiles up at him, at the reverence of his touch, at the awe in his gaze. And the love—that's there, too. Has been for as long as she can remember.
She reaches for the buttons of his shirt, undoing them from the bottom up until his shirt parts to her waiting hands. She runs her fingers over the smooth, firm muscles, tripping over his abs and chest before curling around his neck and pulling him down for another kiss.
He runs his tongue along her bottom lip and she immediately opens to him, lets him delve deep, hot and insistent and a little possessive. She reaches for his belt and he startles slightly when she unbuckles it, pops open the button on his jeans, his hips jerking forward when she sneaks her hand inside and grips him through his boxers.
She hums against his mouth, her lips curling into a pleased smile that has him groaning and bowing forward to press a hot, sucking kiss to her neck. He lands on that one spot behind her ear that drives her crazy and she can't help the moan that trips unbidden from her parted lips.
"Castle," she whispers, half-gasping, and she can't believe she's already this needy, this undone. He's barely even touched her.
Perhaps this is the upside to giving your heart to someone, to being laid bare. All those nerve endings are exposed to the hurt but also to the pleasure and oh he knows her body just as well as he knows her heart, can play it like a well-tuned piano, can pull symphonies from her that she didn't even know were inside her.
She sits down on the bed, scoots back across the covers and he follows, lowering his body over hers. She wraps her legs around his waist, tugs him closer, and he can't help but sink into the cradle of her hips, the soft contours of her body. She lets out a soft gasp at the sudden pressure, the material of his boxers creating a delicious friction against her clit.
She shifts underneath him, finding just enough purchase to grind up against his erection, letting out a breathy moan because it feels so good and he doesn't even have all his clothes off.
"Kate," he breathes and she can't tell whether he's encouraging her or telling her to slow down and she doesn't even care, because it's just the right spot and she can already feel herself beginning to come apart.
He seems to sense her desperation because he suddenly rolls them on the bed so that she's straddling his hips, giving her plenty of room to maneuver. He grips her hips and helps her grind down against him and oh god she is so close and it's almost too good, too much. She rocks against him slowly, bites her lip to keep from crying out when he slides a hand down her abdomen, his thumb pressing in tight circles against her clit.
She jerks into his touch, sobbing out his name as she breaks apart against him, leaning down to catch his mouth in a kiss, her body sinking into his.
"She meant nothing to me," he breathes suddenly, lips at her ear. "You're all I see. It's just you, Kate."
She lets out a soft keening sound at his words, presses her face into the crook of his neck, because she will not cry in front of him, not like this.
He doesn't push her. Just lets her rest against him, his fingers trailing up and down her back. She takes in a deep breath and pulls back just enough to meet his eye. She kisses him and keeps her eyes open when she does, watches the way his eyes darken and flutter shut because he wants her, only her.
She lifts herself off him long enough to pull his boxers down his legs. He kicks them away, already impatient, and rolls towards her, gripping her waist and tucking her under his body. She lifts her leg high on his waist, whimpering softly at the feel of him so close.
He leans down and kisses her forehead and her lips, his touch reverent, and then he slides into her and she lifts to meet him, taking him in all the way.
"Kate," he murmurs, his voice rising from somewhere deep in his chest, heartfelt and true. "Kate, I love you."
She stills beneath him, her breath snagging in her chest, more startled than anything. She knew it was true, but they haven't said it yet, not officially, and—
Oh god she loves him too, she loves him too.
He rolls them onto their sides, keeping her cradled against his chest, and kisses the corner of her eye. "Castle," she breathes, his voice sounding choked around the sudden tears rising in her throat.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to—"
"No," she whispers, eyes flying open to meet his. "No, it's not that. I—"
He smiles gently, soft and knowing, and he understands her, he does. "Don't say it back," he says.
"But Castle—"
She breaks off, her voice catching in her throat when he rocks against her, his hand lifting to cup her breast, his thumb ghosting across her peaked nipple.
She moans softly and melts into him, forgetting her words for now, draping her leg up high on his waist, wanting him deeper, wanting to be as close as she can get.
He keeps up a languid pace, thrusting into her slowly, his mouth warm and wet against her neck, nipping gently and then soothing with his tongue. She threads her fingers through his hair, clinging to him, loving the hard press of his body against hers, the friction of their bodies, the way they fit together like jigsaw pieces.
The heat sweeps through her slowly, pooling in her abdomen, a slow rise that leaves her breathless, her body tensing in his arms. She comes apart with a sob of release and he follows her a moment later, pressing a hard kiss to her lips, his fingers flexing against her hips.
She sinks into him, presses her cheek to his chest and smiles when he wraps his arms around her, hugging her to his body in an almost crushing embrace. He kisses the tip of her nose and grins at her and she wants to say it back, she does, but she'll wait. She'll say it when it's not an answer to a question, only the truth.
No more secrets.
"You're beautiful," he tells her, his eyes roaming her face like he's studying the details of an intricate portrait.
She forces herself to meet his eye, even though she can feel her cheeks warming. She's never gotten used to the way he watches her, the way he sees her. "Thank you," she tells him, then leans back into him and closes her eyes on a soft sigh.
She's content. At peace for maybe the first time in her life and it's because of him, this wonderful, infuriating, beautiful man who loves her and holds her like she's something precious, something worth fighting for.
He's worth fighting for, too. Someday she'll tell him that. Tell him all the things that she was too cowardly to say before. But for now she just wants to fall asleep in his arms and not worry about tomorrow.
—
She wakes up in the middle of the night. His arms are still secure around her, his breath ghosting across her forehead. She lifts her head and presses a light kiss to his jaw, feels him stir against her.
His eyes open, clearing slowly as they take in her face. "Hey," he rumbles, blinking at her, his lips curved up softly.
She smiles. Kisses him softly. "I love you, too."
—
This was inspired by the adorableness that is Castle and Beckett in season 5 as well as my intense desire to see more pillow talk. If they're as adorable as they are in the light of day, I can't even imagine what kind of sweet nothings are revealed in a post-sex haze of love and awesomeness.
Anywho. Please review! (If you feel so inclined.)