Summary: When Tsunade hires disgruntled artist Clarity Cratchet to help repair a painting that's spread out among the five great Shinobi Nations. It's up to Team Kakashi to make sure this spitball stays in one piece. Read, Enjoy, and watch the sparks fly.

Clarity in Konoha

Prologue: The Painting of Doom

Tsunade rubbed her temples, looked over the mountains of paperwork Shizune kept hounding her to do and then just rubbed the temples of her head some more. The only thing on her mind was someone to bring her some sake and fast. She was going to slip a sip from the bottle she kept hidden in her secret pop out desk drawer but Shizune was in the hall. Her pet pig TonTon would have sniffed it out and told on her faster than you could say "Konohagakure" with your nose squeezed shut. She was just about to reach out and tap her secret drawer open when Shizune burst into the room! Frantically, as if to hide something Tsunade grabbed a book off the shelf and put her nose in it. Too bad it was her favorite travel guide of casinos and beer joints from around the world.

Shizune snatched that book out of her hand yelling, "Lady Tsunade this is no time to be messing around we have a situation to deal with."

Tsunade leaned in front of the expansive imposing desk, chin on resting in her hands just so she could pretend she's interested. Sadly Shizune did so much nagging on her the week before, Tsunade's patience was now wearing thin.

"What is the situation now?" Tsunade drawled, her honey eyes sparkling in anticipation, "Is it interesting?"

"No it's not 'interesting'!" Shizune snapped, "We had another painter die already and this time the poor fellow's been smeared all over the walls too."

"WHAT?!" Tsunade gasped in horror, "but that was the twenty fifth guy this week!"

Indeed it was true, Tsunade thought as she let her mind wander during Shizune's rant, at least twenty five professional painters went and gave their unwitting lives to restore just an ancient painting that had something to do with the now defected Uchiha clan and the five great Shinobi Nations. The Land of Earth in the Northwest with its desolate rocky mountain ranges. As if they need a rock garden, they live in one. The Land of Lightning with its big thunderhead clouds over vast mountain ranges. Beware of Lightning, Weatherman can say the same thing everyday and be home in time for dinner. The Land of Water towards the east is a multi island hot spot of mists, lakes and anything having to do with the element of water. I wouldn't want to offend everyone there, each island has different traditions and so many etiquette rules that it ought to drive any slob nuts. The Land of Wind is a vast desert that's bordered by the Land of Rivers and the Land of Rain. Which reminds me does anyone have a Sand Dumpling? I'm hungry. Anyway the last one and the center powerhouse is the Land of Fire with it's bright sunny weather and many forests it looks like a forest fire just waiting to happen.

"So you're saying," Tsunade reiterated, "That every painter we hired ended up suffering gruesome ugly deaths though no one knows how or why except the fact they knew too much and the ninjas hired to protect them just got caught in the crossfire because of one stupid painting?"

"But Lady Tsunade," Shizune almost whined, "All the ninja nations have been losing their troops thanks to five pieces of an irreplaceable treasure which has the power to change the world as we know it."

Tsunade just barked up laughing, "How can a stupid painting change the world?"

Shizune, blushing mad by now, stomped and growled, "Lady Tsunade; How are we going to protect this treasure when every painter and ninja that gets sent after it gets killed!?"

"That's easy," Tsunade scoffed as if it were the simplest thing in the world, "We hire a new painter except we hire a spitball with a talent for self preservation and enough dumb luck to be alive which I just so happened to find in the yellow pages."

"You're hiring a civilian for a ninja mission?" Shizune gasped, "Isn't that going to be even more dangerous?"

"I'll have Naruto protect her." Tsunade answered causing her assistant to face vault. Apparently having Naruto guard a spitball is like having the fox guarding the stinky cheese man.

"Won't they kill each other?" Shizune asked.

"No," Tsunade pondered this before speaking, "I don't think they'll get each other killed but from what I've heard about this woman she's enough of a knucklehead that she often piles the odds against herself rather than for herself. She's butted heads with the board of education, the U.S. government I think, and even the police when they found out she painted rubber duckies on their cars. She was still able to talk her way out of having a permanent criminal record and I know she'll be able to talk Naruto down without having to access the Demon Fox's chakra since her talent for self preservation is actually a reflexive instinct when dealing with places and people. I'm sure she'll be the perfect candidate for this mission."

Shizune cringed, this did not sound like a hopeful mission. Since it seemed the painter would be more like a danger than an asset of course. I mean, c'mon how many people would be crazy enough to hire a head butting disgruntled civilian artist on a mission to retrieve a Painting of Doom. The more people knew about it the higher a chance someone was going to die and the first to die would obviously be the one who had no combat experience whatsoever. TonTon gave a worried oink as she ran her head under Tsunade's hand. Tsunade scooped up the little pig and gently rubbed TonTon between her ears. This sounded bad and everyone within hearing range knew it.

"That's why we'll keep this spitball artist in the dark." Tsunade finally decided, "The less that she knows about this mission, the better."

Author's Note: I would love to hear your feedback because this thing is on a roll and I want to try and stay true to the Naruto series though there will be a few parts that will be awkward
because my two characters Clairity and Murray can be total dorks but in a good way at least.