Ohayo~ This is my first time writing and publishing a fanfic and I'm kinda nervous. English is not my native language so I cannot ensure you that there will be no error with my grammar. But hopefully, you appreciate this story.
I'm not really sure about the pairing in this story, I just added the names that were mentioned here. One thing is sure, Lucy is here. It is actually Lucy's point of view :3
Disclaimer: You already know who owns Fairy Tail right? All owned by Hiro Mashima ^.^/
And Thus the Heart will Break, Yet Brokenly Live On
Love. Everyone going crazy about love. Searching and waiting. Also comes when you least expecting. It was a good feeling that you found the one you love. Moreover, if that was the one who always by your side, to protect you, to make you laugh, to let you feel the meaning of importance, the meaning of nakama, the meaning of family. But everything has an end, has a limit.
He was the one who brought me here. He was the one who showed me that I can have a family consisting of friends and nakamas. Taught me to be strong, taught me to laugh at desperate times and to taught me how to be in love.
First time I saw him, I thought he's just some idiot spiky pink-colored hair guy with a weird flying blue cat. Of course, looks can be deceiving or maybe a little bit deceiving. Nevertheless, he's a good guy trying to be an in idiot in which and in fact he's not. Maybe that's his way of comprehending things happening around us whether it's good or bad.
Yeah, maybe you figured out already who I'm talking about right? He's none other than the most caring, sweet-on-his-own-way, overprotective yet childish Natsu Dragneel.
We were so in love with each other. Everyone in the guild was happy when we broke the news about us. It turned out, they had been anticipating our relationship causing the whole guild to had a week long celebration.
It was a long process of falling in love with each other. Months of knowing each other, and number of missions to realize the feeling that was developing between the two of us. He was the one who initiate the first move. While in a train on our way home from a mission, he said that he had to do something to lessen his motion sickness and then, he stole my first kiss. It was just a peck of the lips so I'm not sure if I may say that 'that' was my first kiss or the time he kissed me in my apartment two days after we got home, but I surely got butterflies in my stomach. Then, confrontation came and love surfaced. Countless kisses followed and proceeded by something that proved our love also in a way that satisfied every couple's need.
Day and night, in the guild and in my apartment, we were always together. He stayed when I was at my darkest times and enjoyed my happiest moments. But we didn't forget to give personal space for each other. He was my first in every single way. And I was happy that those were all with him.
He was the one who completed me and I completed him. It felt like our hands perfectly fitted with each other every time we hold hands. Every time our bodies were next to each other, feeling and hearing each others heartbeat, was like the missing tune of a song.
Natsu was my dragon, and I was his princess. I was his Luce, he was my Natsu. Everyday was a fairy tale.
I thought nothing can come our way that can break us apart. It's true, no incident nor accident nor issue came to break us apart.
We became each others source of strength, of happiness, of life, of hope, of love, of light, of weakness, of suffering, of sadness, of pain.
"Luce, set yourself free. " Natsu said as he gave me his last embrace "Remember, we promised that we will live our lives to the fullest?"
I tried to kiss him, hopefully to change his mind but the kiss felt nothing. No more love, no more passion. They were all gone.
I continued crying harder as every second pass. I tried to stop each tears to fall out of my already puffy eyes but it wont just stop, like how we can't bring ourselves to stop breathing if all we want is to continue living. I tried my best to freeze that moment. I didn't want it to continue, save the last moment we can still have. Continue on holding him as if he was my dear life. I just want him, I need him. I can't bare the thought of us breaking up but who I was fooling. We were already in the process of breaking up, of setting each other's 'free'.
His words were stuck in my head. I can't remember how we lost the spark. All I knew was, we were so in love. Then one day, it was gone. No third party involved. It was just 'we' fell out of love. Yes, I said "we" as if it was mutual, but in fact, I never fell out of love with Natsu. I am just pretending that it was "us" not just "him". I don't want him to feel guilty of the break up.
If only one of us has to suffer, I choose it to be me. I can't imagine him suffering like how I am suffering now. I can't and I won't. That's how I much I love him. I'll shoulder all the pain just to see his genuine smile again that he used to share with me before 'we' lost the spark. I just missed the times we shared for the past two years, the ups and downs we faced together.
It actually pains me seeing him happy with Lisanna around. I knew their story, Natsu was the one who told me about it while we were still together. I didn't see her as a threat. That's how much I trust the man I love, because I believed I was the only apple of his eyes.
Don't blame Lisanna on my account. We are good friends, she didn't do anything that causes my pain. It was me. It was me that agreed with Natsu that we need to move on. That we already lost the one we used to treasured for the past two years.
How could I not give him the freedom that he needs, if every time I meet his eyes, all I see is just an eye of a nakama, not of a lover.
I'm in denial at first. Thinking a cool off was just what we need. It is NOT. Everything is over. I want to blame someone, but there's none.
And now, I hardly can't bring myself to face Natsu. Just remembering those three words which he used to tell me, those surprises he used to set for me, those simple sweet acts that used to be just mine, and those alone times with him. I want them all back. I know I am being so selfish wanting him back. It should still be me, receiving his sweet genuine pure-of-love smile, the one sharing with his fun adventurous mission but that time was over.
He still asks me to do missions with him, but I just can't say yes. Even that little time I can spend with him is an escape of the pain I'm feeling.
Truth be told, I don't want to waste my life and my time, yet I can't help myself from coming to bars. Erza and Levy-chan always say that I should stop what I'm doing. They sometimes come with me in bars just to secure my safety. I hate that feeling of being protected against myself. But I can't help it. It hurts like hell yet I make sure that I'm the only one should be hurting here.
Months have passed since we freed each other. Natsu has been happy for those pass months. I'm happy for him. I still love him, and yet I know I must truly free myself. But the pain always feels like new, like a half healed wound being stabbed every time it starts to close.
I really am missing everything. I already cried river of tears. I tried to be happy, to smile, to joke with others but deep inside I'm screaming with the pain. I once promised him that I should stay being strong with or without him. I'm trying Natsu, really I am. But for the last time, let me be weak, let me cry my heart out 'till no more tears are willing to come out, let me be the girl who lost the man she most love. Then I will not only try, but also do my best to be strong. To be happy and to be free from myself.
"Why would Blondie be by herself in this kind of place?" a voice says behind me. Interrupting me on my thought. Wiping my tears away, I turn around to face the man.
"Says the man who's not blonde." I say as I roll my eyes. I'm not in a talking mood right now. "And why would you care Sting?" I'm giving him a glare.
"Woah, come 'on. Just trying to be casual here." He says as he takes the seat beside me.
Yes, I'm in a bar once again. This time, it will also be my last here.
No other conversation comes. We just sit and drink there. Giving each other the silent comfort we could give. I know right now, he has battles he's fighting within himself. Just like how I'm fighting my own battle right now.
Then after this I can now move on. Like how my love with Natsu and his with mine came to an end, my suffering and pain will soon enough come to an end.
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No, my love with Natsu will never end.
What do you think minna-san? is it good? is it bad? Care to share with me your thoughts? :3 Excuse me if it is OOC
BTW, I'm not really into writing stuff more likely I'm into reading stuffs. ^.^ That's why it took me weeks in deciding whether to publish this story or not after finishing it. I'm scared no one will appreciate it and I'm not really confident with my writing skills (just assuming that I have :P) Yeah~ in the end I published it XD It also kinda confusing on how to publish a story here. I didn't know that you have to do that and that and this and this but thankfully I found my way(?). hahaha!
I'm hoping you like the story :3
Please~ just don't ignore me *puppy eyes* please leave a review :3
