A/N: So this is my first ever TFIOS fanfic, after I finished reading the amazing story by John Green. I tried to really get Hazel's personality to shine. I'm not sure if its perfect but I hope you guys like it anyway! Please R&R!
This is it, my last day on this earth until I can finally follow Augustus Waters into the oblivion and out of this world. It is the one year anniversary (if you can call it that) of his death and today I was emitted into the hospital. The pain is almost unbearable, but I guess that's just another side effect of death. It'll be over soon I can tell. I was emitted for the excessive flow of fluids into my lungs. This time they could not get it out in time. I would die either way. I was drowning. Drowning in my own body. And there was no escape. Dad can't stop crying at my bedside, and my mom's words reminded me of the first time they thought I'd be leaving them.
"It's okay to let go. It's okay sweetie." My mom spoke softly, crying on my shoulder. I thought I was supposed to be the one crying, but I wasn't. Instead I lay there completely devoid of emotion unable to even speak to my pain. I couldn't help thinking about what Isaac would do when he finds out about me. I couldn't call him before I was emitted. This day started out relatively normal until the throbbing pain in my head came at random, much worse than ever before. Isaac will be alone. No Gus, no Support Group Hazel. No one. My mind absently wanders to the eulogy Augustus wrote me before his death. Will anyone read it at my funeral? Or will my funeral be just like Gus'. A room of people I hardly remember caring about me after I got sick, speaking of things I didn't like to do or don't do since I was diagnosed. Well I guess anything would be true because I won't be doing anything anymore. Isaac and Augustus were the only two people in my life that really truly know and understand me. Sadly I cannot say the same about my friend Kaitlyn. But now I'm sure so many others that claim to have known me like family will step up to share in the grievances. I guess that's it then, and I let my mind wander to the Capital S Somewhere that I'll be in with Augustus soon. I could tell it would be minutes before I finally was gone. Before the oblivion reached me and death entangled itself around my drowning lungs and body. That was when I heard his voice.
Hazel Grace just what do you think you're doing? Gus asked me.
"I'm dying, that's what I'm doing." I replied simply, and I saw my parents look at me with a mixture of confusion, worry and plain grief. I bet they thought I was dying by insanity. I'd become a mad-woman, a loon, just before my death.
You need to at least try to survive! You are too young to die. Gus said, his voice becoming clearer in my mind. I knew it was really him. I could feel it. I wasn't crazy.
"Even the doctors couldn't help me. And you died at 17 Gus! Even though I'm younger I did outlast you. There's nothing left to do. I'm dying to be with you Augustus Waters. Okay?" I asked him. There was a long pause and for a moment I thought maybe I had just imagined his voice.
…Okay…I'll see you on the other side Hazel Grace. Gus sighed dejectedly. This was it, his voice had disappeared and I had lost all my energy by speaking to him. My parents went back to crying about their daughter the lunatic who was dying.
"Okay…" I whispered my last word, shutting my eyes for my last moments on this planet. And finally I plunged into the deep dark abyss that awaited me.
IN A CAPITAL S SOMEWHERE… (SOMETIMES CALLED AMSTERDAM ;D)
I open my eyes slowly and find myself somewhere I'd thought I'd never see again. I lie on the cobblestone ground in front of the restaurant Oranjee, in Amsterdam. And surprising enough I was also wearing the same blue knee-length dress I wore that night that Augustus and I went on our first date. Phillip lay on the ground by my side, and I was still wearing my cannula. But Phillip wasn't on. No air was being pumped into my lungs. And I felt perfectly okay with that. I actually felt healthy, and so I took out the nubbins and tossed my cannula to the side where Phillip was. But I still had trouble picking myself up. When I was finally standing I realized I hadn't seen Augustus yet.
"Gus! I'm here!" I shouted, and soon enough I saw a silhouette coming out of the shadows from another street. I saw him. Augustus Waters walking out to meet me. He was just as gorgeous as I remember. He wore his 'death suit' same as he had worn that night and of course at his funeral. But I choose not to remember that day right now. Gus stopped about an inch from my face, and I could look directly into his crystal clear blue orbs called eyes. He gave me his signature crooked smile and we hugged for the first time in a year.
"Hazel Grace, you've never looked more radiant." He said softly. I realized I was crying when he pulled away.
"I've missed you Augustus, my love." I told him. He wiped away a tear with his hand and we started walking towards Oranjee, holding hands.
"So this is that Capital S Somewhere you said you believed in?" I asked him. He smiled brightly, stealing one quick kiss on the cheek.
"I guess so, we're back in Amsterdam Hazel Grace." He replied, an unlit cigarette materializing in his mouth out of nowhere.
"Were you really there while I was dying? That was really you?" I questioned, imagining Gus with wings. A small smile appeared on my lips.
"I was there, and it really hurt to see you in such pain. The same way I was there when you received that call about me from my mom. And for the record, I love you present tense too Hazel Grace." Gus replied, stroking my hair with his free hand. He was there, watching over me. That's when something occurred to me.
"Isaac." I whispered, stopping our walking.
"Come on, let's go see Isaac." Gus replied, starting to pull me toward the door to Oranjee. He pulled open the door and together we walked through. And suddenly we were in Isaac's house. I could tell he'd gotten the call from my parents already. It was like the night of the broken trophies happened all over again. Except it wasn't over Monica anymore, it was over Gus and I.
"I feel so terrible for him." I whispered, not sure if Isaac could hear us or not. Augustus put his arm around my shoulder, and together we walked closer to Isaac's sobbing figure.
"Don't worry. You still have those robot eyes to look forward to." Gus told Isaac. But of course he couldn't hear us. We stopped in front of him and Gus put one arm on his shoulder.
"We'll be back later buddy," He whispered, and we reappeared outside Oranjee again. I was noticeably close to tears.
"Okay?" Augustus asked me, holding me in his arms.
"Okay," I replied slowly, and we started walking again, our little infinity beginning again.
