A/N: I know I really should be getting in a new chapter of Summer Girl in (and it's sitting in my laptop just waiting to be finished) but I've had this idea in my mind for SOOOOOO long. So here it goes!

Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own creativity!

May 6th, 2005

Dear Diary,

Today, I told her. I told her I liked her. I told Caroline Forbes that I, Elena Gilbert, had a huge crush on her. She was shocked, and I mean I would be too. I remember a similar look in her eyes, just a few months ago when I came out to her and Bonnie. She'd asked so many questions and then smiled at me and hugged me and I had been so happy because they both still loved me. They weren't grossed out by it and they didn't abandon me. But Caroline's smile? I loved that smile, I always had. But after that day I really started to look at her. I had always felt something for her but it just grew after that. I mean i'm sure you already know, since you know I've written in you so many times about it. But it's one thing to write it down and then another entirely to actually confess it.

I really hope I didn't make things awkward between us. She said she didn't know what to say and asked if we could talk tomorrow. I'm worried that she'll be so freaked out. But I couldn't not tell her. I just felt that she should know.

\\\

May 8th, 2005

Dear Diary,

Caroline and I finally talked. It was not what I expected. She said she'd been a little confused about her sexuality for a while, and that she did like boys, but she liked girls too. She said when I told her how I felt about her that she didn't know what to say because she had been thinking that she liked me too. And she does. Oh god she does. I don't think I could have had a bigger smile. I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend right then and there, so we could tell Bonnie together. But you know Caroline, she wants to be romanced first before making anything official. I'm taking her on a date this weekend. And she's the one who called it an date. She's not afraid to hide it. I think that makes this a little easier, but also kind of hard. I'm not ready to tell other people about me yet.

Maybe with Caroline I can do it.

\\\

June 8th , 2005

Dear Diary,

Caroline and I have been together a month now. She's bossy and she is always optimistic and she can never stop talking. sometimes I just want to kiss her to shut her up and I think that's the only thing that will work. We haven't kissed yet. I want it to be special. Bonnie rolls her eyes at me when I say things like that because she says I'm so cheesy. I like to be cheesy when it comes to Caroline. I like to hold her hand under the table and I like to push her hair out of her face and I like it when she puts her head on my shoulder when we watch romance movies. I like it when she does the same for me. I'm starting to hold her hand in public now. No one has noticed much except maybe Matt. When he first saw he just grinned and gave me the thumbs up. I guess he just knows.

\\\

June 12th, 2005

Dear Diary,

Caroline kissed me. She kissed me and I can still feel it. It was kind of awkward and sloppy and completely out of character for her and it was perfect. It was the first kiss every girl dreamed about, because it wasn't perfect but it was special and I can still feel it.

\\\

August 22nd, 2005

Dear Diary,

Tomorrow is the first day of high school. I will enter with Caroline, holding her hand, and I will kiss her when we separate to go to class. I'm not nervous about what anyone thinks anymore. Yesterday, Caroline and I told our parents. We planned it, for her mother to come to dinner at my house. Caroline was nervous, I was nervous, but she was shaking. Her mother had not taken it well when Bill Forbes left, and I could pretty much read Caroline's worry on her face. She asked me, "What if she hates me?". I kissed her and told her that she'd still have me, Bonnie, and Matt. We decided to wait for dinner to be over, so everyone could smile and eat together. When we were done Caroline and I cleared the plates and cleaned up. When we were done I kissed her again, to reassure her, and then we walked into the living room hand in hand.

I told my parents first, just that I was gay. They hugged me and told me that they were proud I came out to them and how much they loved me. Caroline told her mother, she was bisexual. Liz seemed fine with that, even if she was silent for a good ten minutes. When we told them we were dating? We got the sex talk.

\\\

May 8th, 2008

Dear Diary,

Today was our three year anniversary. Caroline told me she was in love with me. I'm in love with her too. I couldn't even spit it out but she knew. I know she knew. She's laying here in bed with me, sleeping. She snores and its adorable. She's not wearing anything under the covers. I want to wake her and make love to her again. Because its not just sex with us. People will say we're too young to know what love is, but that's a lie. How would they know? We're young yes but love is love no matter the age.

Caroline just rolled over and shes snuggled into my side. I won't wake her up now. I'll let her sleep and in the morning I'll kiss her till she wakes up.

\\\

June 15th, 2008

Dear Diary,

Everything is different. My parents are gone. They're gone, and they're never coming back. I should be with them. I was in the car when it happened. I don't know how I survived, I really don't. I just remember waking up in the hospital. Caroline was there. She was there everyday.
Instead of being reassuring, it was overwhelming. I love her and I know she loves me but I can't right now. I just can't.

\\\

July 18th, 2008

Dear Diary,

We've been broken up for two weeks. I hate it. I know I ended it but I miss her. She won't talk to me but sends little messages through Bonnie who just sighs when she looks at us. But I need this, I know I do. I need a break from her overwhelming and overbearing love and I need time.

\\\

August 22nd, 2008,

Tomorrow is the first day of school. My parents won't be there to see me off and Caroline won't be there to kiss me in the doorway when we go together. I need time but at the same time I just want her back. I want her to hold me and kiss me and I want to walk down the halls with her holding my hand and making snippy remarks about what someone is wearing. It's my fault I know, but I did need time. I still need time. This is confusing and frustrating and I just hope she'll understand.

I think she does. She texted me earlier. It was a hey. I responded back in kind. She asked, 'are you ok?' I already decided that I would tell everyone else 'I'm fine.' But to her? 'I don't know.' She hasn't texted me back yet, probably because she doesn't know what to say. I hope that she'll know tomorrow. I just need to make it through tomorrow.

\\\

A/N: R & R Please.