I never thought I would reach a breaking point. I always had something to fuel me, to keep me going. Even when my mom died I got through it because I just knew that I had to. Back then it didn't matter how much pain I was in or how tired I was or how depressed I felt, I kept going fucking no matter what. There was a purpose to keep going back then though, someone I was responsible for: my little brother. I would've done anything for him. But when the time for him to go did come, all I did was nothing.

Once my brother was gone I felt a curtain of darkness consume me. For a while I stood on the line between giving up and seeing how much I could take. But the second I laid eyes on the Governor I think I tumbled head over heels towards giving up.

I held out against the abuse I was put through in Woodbury for as long as I could. I spent weeks shivering in the small shit room he kept me in. The damn Governor used to come in everyday. I became trained to hear his heavy footsteps entering my room. The moment he came in I could anticipate what he intended to do with me that day. Sometimes he just got his anger out on me through beatings. Other times he liked to grope me or make me take off my clothes, letting himself run his slimy hands over every fucking part of me. The day he did more than just run his hands over me was the day I felt myself become drained of my worth. I felt like I was nothing.

I prayed for the end. I wanted more than anything to be taken away from under the control of the Governor, no matter how my freedom would come about. He had broken me, as much as I hate to admit it. But, I had been through hell and hell changes you. It changes who you are and who you would've been. I would never be the girl I once was. I was torn apart from the inside out. I didn't trust anyone anymore; he made me the cold hearted bitch I am today.

I felt like a pitiful animal, huddled up in the empty room, holding onto myself as if that could protect me. My body shook and muscles spasmed from time to time. Blood was starting to crust over and dry onto my lip from my nose. However, the last beating I had taken was not from the Governor. He had ordered his henchman, Merle, to try and get information about that fucking prison from me. The thing was, I didn't have any.

The Governor always suspected that I knew more than I let on. I was a damn snake, that was for sure, and I knew everything about Woodbury before they even knew about me. It made sense that he would assume I know about his rivals at the prison, but I hadn't gotten to them yet. Woodbury had enough valuable things for me to take at the time.

That's what I do. I stop by communities that people have built up and I scope out everything about them. I learn the ins and outs; I memorize everything about the place from the faces of the people to the sewage systems underground to the amount of provisions they have. When I find opportunity, I strike. I come in secretly and take what I need to survive. I never take more than I need or too much so that they won't pull through from the loss. I pat myself on the back for that. It's nice of me to be thinking of others.

I had never been caught before, or if I had I was always able to slip away or talk myself out of any real trouble. I was sly as a fox back then. But the day I hit Woodbury, the precious Governor was supposed to be out. I had everything planned perfectly. He was to go out at sunrise with his men to inspect the pits they kept of Walkers. He had a schedule to keep to and he always did, but not that day.

I should've accounted for his whore. I never should've let it slip up. But he stayed in with her passed time to go on his run. He was still in Woodbury and I had no idea. When he found me in the pantry I was too in shock. I tried to shake the bewilderment that he was there. He looked pissed, but he shook away his angry demeanor and quickly talked to me like I was a wild horse that he was trying to tame. The thing is that I can't be tamed.

I attacked him with the only weapon I had, a small knife. He knocked it from me after I put up a hell of a fight. I was proud that his nose was gushing blood by the time he had me restrained. His buddies came in after hearing our ruckus and I was knocked out cold. I must've been captive in Woodbury for weeks. I barely had anything to eat anymore. My muscles, which were at one time toned and impressive, were weakening. The Governor used to visit me daily for anything he needed from me, whether it was to get his anger out or because he was horny and his little blonde doll was in too bad of a mood to satisfy him.

But now the Governor hadn't come to me in a few days. Merle would come in and give me a tray of molded food, but that was it. He used to stay and talk with me sometimes, just to get some stuff off of his chest. I was slightly disappointed when that stopped too. I could almost be content with life when Merle would sit around with me and talk about how much his life has sucked. But that was apparently over now and I was stuck alone with my own thoughts to haunt me.

I held the thin shirt I had to me. My pants and shoes had holes worn into them. My hair was so tatted and dirty that I probably looked like a wild animal at a glance. I hadn't showered in a month probably, maybe more.

I was sniffling in the corner, waiting for it all to end, when I heard the gunshots. They were close. Too close. There had to be a fight in Woodbury. My mind immediately thought of the group at the prison that the Governor was so desperate to get information about. They were here, attacking. Everything in me hoped they would put an end to the Governor, but another part of me hoped they didn't. I wanted to kill him for myself.

Multiple shouts echoed outside of my door followed by a spray of gunshots. I flinched before ducking my head down between my legs and hunkering with my hands over my head for protection as dust and pieces of the cheap room I was in rained down on me.

I thought about calling out to them, thinking they might help me, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. I couldn't trust them, even if these people were against the Governor, they might come in and treat me worse than he has. I couldn't risk facing another person like the Governor, or someone who might be worse. I hated myself for being afraid and I hated the Governor for making me think this way now. He made me an untrustworthy monster and I hated the power he had over me, how he had snuffed out any fire in me, how he had caged my soul and thrown away the key.

Just then the door of my room was kicked open with a terrifying force. My heart hammered in my chest. I shook in the corner, staring at the ground and not at whoever was entering, afraid of what I might see. I heard the movement and clicks of their weapons. I knew what was probably going to happen, I just wanted it to happen already. I was ready to go. I couldn't fight anymore. I was done and ready to join those I left behind. I was ready to join my family again.

"Another one of his hostages." The voice gruff was full of disappointment and had a long drawl to it.

I still refused to look at the people who were in front of me, but I could feel that there were only two of them. The figures inspected be from behind their weapons.

"Where's Maggie and Glenn?"

"Do you know where they keep any other prisoners?"

I didn't answer. I didn't know the answers. Just shoot me. Please shoot me.

One of them grabbed my shoulders roughly, attempting to shake me from my vacant state. I looked up into his face for the first time. He wasn't like the Governor, I could tell instantly. He didn't fake anything like the Governor does. He wore no mask of who he really was. He wasn't a bad person, though his actions would say otherwise. He wanted answers; he was eager to find his people. His soft eyes pleaded with me almost, as if they could will the answers from me.

I opened my mouth, but no words came out, only strangled sounds of my dry throat. I shook my head to get the message across that I had no idea where his friends were.

A look of disappointment and anger washed over him. He released my arms and stormed away, back towards the other man in the room.

"We jus' gonna leave 'er?" The other man asked, his crossbow still pointed at me.

The first guy stopped in the doorway and ran a hand over his curled hair, thinking about what my fate should be. "Bring her. She might know a few things about this place. Anything can help."

My stomach lurched at the command. They only wanted me for information just like the Governor did and I was willing to bet they would take the same actions against me to get it. I was being used one after the other. I would've cried if I had any tears left in me.

The guy with the crossbow looked at me through his scope. Shoot me.

His fingers twitched around the trigger that would release the arrow into my skull. Kill me.

He lowered the weapon slightly and looked at me with an understanding. I felt the pull of his gaze like a magnet. I couldn't stop myself from looking him in the face. His squinted blue eyes bore into me as I silently pleaded for him to save me from this shit-show. I didn't want to walk out of Woodbury, I wanted to be put out of my misery right here and now. He could tell what I was asking for. I was miserable and he knew that. That's why my heart broke when he grumbled for me to get up.

My brain screamed to sit still. But my legs found the strength to work and I was following him out of the door in seconds. I wanted to sit in my room, refuse to go, then maybe he would've killed me, but I was not risking staying around to chat with the Governor in the aftermath. I had to choose what I thought was the lesser of two evils.

The stranger with the crossbow led me out into the smoke and chaos that now filled the hall. The first man I spoke to was running for the exit with an injured guy hanging from his shoulder. A young girl followed quickly behind them. Looks like they found their friends, Glenn and Maggie.

I followed after them into the streets, having no other choice. We rushed inside a building where Glenn was dropped to the ground. Each breath he took looked to put him in pain. He didn't have a shirt on, and he held his arm cradled against him. Not to mention the blood that covered injuries on his swollen face and badly bruised face. I knew who did this to him without a second thought, and Glenn confirmed it too.

"Daryl," he breathed out in pain as his little girlfriend Maggie wrapped a shirt onto him. "This was Merle."

The guy with the crossbow–Daryl–looked at him in almost disbelief.

"He threw a Walker at me. He was going to execute us," Glenn continued, his face a scrunched up picture of agony.

"My brother's the Governor?" Daryl growled out and took a few aggressive steps closer, aggressively hungry for more information.

My eyes widened at the statement. Brother. This was Merle's brother that he had talked so much about? Are you fucking kidding me? I almost couldn't believe it. The thought actually almost made me laugh. Merle was a douchebag through and through, but this guy didn't seem too bad at all. Sure he was reckless like Merle, but he wasn't the creep that checked out every pair of tits that passed him. And when he first looked at me in that room, I felt a sense of calmness. The only thing I felt towards Merle was disgust, and occasionally a bitter hatred.

"He's not the Governor," I offered, my voice a croaking mess, and they all turned to me, making me shift uncomfortably. It was the first time I had spoken in days and I barely recognized my own voice as I did. "Merle's his right hand man. The Governor's an even worse piece of shit then him, believe it or not."

Daryl seemed torn as he paced around, his mind whirling with mixed thoughts and emotions. "Does he know I'm with this group still?"

"He does now," Maggie said, the venom dripping from her words. Looks like she hated Merle almost as much as I did.

"Rick, we told him where the prison was. We couldn't hold out." Glenn's face twisted with pain again.

"Don't be sorry," Rick said and got up to glance out the windows, his eyes flicking around wildly, surveying the area. "Can you walk?"

Glenn nodded as he was helped to his feet by Maggie.

Daryl swallowed hard and stepped towards the door, ready to take off into the streets again. "If Merle is 'ere I need to see 'em." The eagerness in his voice was unmistakable. My heart lurched out for him. I knew that if the brothers' positions were switched, Merle would be sprinting out of here without a second thought for Daryl.

Rick put a hand on the door to stop Daryl from leaving without thinking clearly. "We need to get out. We are in hostile territory."

"Maybe I can talk to 'em. Work somethin' out."

I shook my head. There was no way Merle loved Daryl like he claimed to if he stayed back in Woodbury all this time knowing his brother was a few miles out in the prison. I felt obligated to tell Daryl that, to help him out and make him realize that Merle was not who he wanted him to be. He was the first person to look at me like I wasn't scum on the bottom of their shoes. When he found me, his gaze might've been filled with sympathy for me, but now our positions were switched. My heart broke at the sight of him distraught over his brother, someone he loved so much, when Merle would never feel the same.

Good thing was that I didn't have to be the one to talk him out of it. Rick did the job for me. "You're not thinking straight. They are hurt and we need to get them back. If we run into Walkers or if the Governor catches up to us? I need you. Are you with me?"

It was strange how much Rick looked to care about Daryl. He was the kind of brother that Daryl deserved, not Merle. I hoped he could see that. I don't know why I cared. Maybe I was feeling that my own brother could have found someone better than me? If my brother found someone like Rick to take care of him maybe he would still be alive.

Daryl gnawed on his bottom lip with hesitation. I could see him debating in his mind what his next move would be. He glanced at the floor and back up at Rick. I stood behind Rick's shoulder silently. When his eyes flicked over to mine it was almost as if he were reading my mind again. It was a mistake to go after Merle right now and we all knew that. I was relieved to hear him mumble an agreement to Rick as he looked back down at the ground.

Rick nodded back at him and turned to me sharply, pressing a bowie knife in my hand with a cold look of warning to stay in line. I stared back at him blankly, not letting him read my emotions. Daryl tossed out a smoke bomb and the streets of Woodbury became a sight of chaos and gunfire in the matter of seconds.

People were dropping dead from gunshots that looked to have come out of nowhere. The rush of being out in a fight and danger again coursed through my veins. It fueled me to keep going; it gave me hope. I felt almost okay again. Maybe the Governor hadn't shattered me completely.

Despite how weak my muscles felt from the amount of time I sat in a cell, I was overtaken with an urge to get revenge. My skin flushed with the anger I felt towards the Governor and, even though I didn't know everyone in Woodbury, I hated them all too. Walkers were flashing across my sight of vision in the clear patches in the smoke. I stood still and watched it all happening around me, drinking in the screams of the falling.

A Walker spotted me from within the smoke and he was slowly coming for me. My sweating fingertips felt around the handle of my knife. Part of me wanted to let the Walker eat me, but I was too stubborn to go down this easy anymore. I refused to be taken down by a Walker. I stared it in the face, daring it to come closer. It did, inching towards me and snapping its teeth in my direction.

It was close enough for me to reach out and touch it when its head exploded all over me. I didn't even flinch as the blood and rotting insides of the creature coated the front of me and the blood ran down my face from my hair. My eyes focused on who was behind the Walker that had killed it. I was shocked to see Rick, who had been so harsh to me earlier, had gone out of his way to save me. He held out a colt python in which were his means of killing the Walker. He had a crazed look in his eyes. His head tilted ever so slightly and I found myself looking away from him and for Daryl to save me from his mad friend. However, the archer was nowhere to be seen in the midst of chaos.

"Rick!" Glenn yelled from on top of a truck just before he jumped down to the other side of the wall.

Rick turned his attention away from me for only a second so he could respond to them. Soon enough he was glower at me again. The look he gave me told me this was not someone I wanted to mess with. His crazed eyes were message enough that he would do anything to protect the ones he loved. I understood that. There was a time when I had the same look and feelings as he did. That was a long time ago, back when I still had people to care for and vice versa.

"We have to go. You're coming with us."

Everything about him made me want to run, but I found myself nodding at him. He said before he would need me if I could tell him all I knew about Woodbury. If I could help take Woodbury down I would, even if it meant working with a fucking maniac.

Please let me know what you think. Sorry this is probably sucky but oh well I needed to write. This going to be a slow burn story so give it time to get started really. eave some feedback and reviews please!

Thank you!