I was given an idea, and somehow, this was born.

Title │ Pissed Off as Hell and Pregnant

Fandom │ Fullmetal Alchemist (Brotherhood)

PairingEdward Elric & Winry Rockbell

Description│ Post manga / "Brotherhood." Prompt #190: "We can't do that here!" (Requested by edxwin-elric on Tumblr.)

Rating│This story is rated T for suggestive themes.

With one hand supporting her back, Winry eased herself into one of the chairs along the wall of the reception center and leaned backwards until the back of her head was touching the plaster behind her. Perhaps coming to Central was a bad idea; as much as she adored visiting with all of her friends and attending Roy and Riza's wedding, all of the walking she'd had to do today made her want to chop off her feet and never walk again. She'd be damned if her husband wanted her to dance with him one more time, and she might just bite off his head if he dared to ask.

Once she was as comfortable as she could be, she splayed her hands over her 6-month pregnant belly and smoothed out her deep blue dress when the bride spotted her sitting alone. The new Mrs. Roy Mustang floated over to her with a sweet smile and swiveled one of the other chairs out in front of her. "Here," Riza faced the seat towards Winry, "propping your feet up might help ease the pain."

"Oh," Winry issued an appreciative smile, "Thank you." As Riza helped elevate her feet, Winry felt the need to apologize. "I'm sorry for being such a spoil sport on your wedding. I hope you know that if it wasn't for this," Winry gestured towards her burgeoning tummy, "I'd be much more involved and probably more enjoyable today. I hope I didn't offend you or your husband earlier when I asked for a chair in the middle of your ceremony. I really tried my hardest to stand the entire time, but we both know how that went."

Riza laughed quietly and gracefully sat down next to Winry. To ease the expecting mother, the bride placed her hand on top of Winry's hand and squeezed it gently. "Don't berate yourself, Winry. My husband and I are very happy that you and Edward were able to attend and be a part of our wedding regardless of your pregnancy. You need to take care of yourself first and foremost. If anything, we should have already had a chair up there for you, and I'm sorry that we didn't think about it beforehand. That was negligence on our part. You did the smart thing when you recognized the end of your limit. I would much rather you interrupt the wedding ceremony to take care of your needs than to have you faint later from exhaustion."

Winry couldn't help but giggle. "I can imagine Ed going into sheer panic if actually had happened."

"Yes," Riza chuckled, "and Roy wouldn't have been much help either. More than likely, I would have had to fire my gun towards the sky to restore order so that we could get you whatever help you needed."

Winry cocked an eyebrow. "Your gun, huh? Why am I not surprised?"

Riza smirked. "Garters can be very useful in weddings."

"Just don't let it drop when Roy removes it later for the crowd." Winry pursed her lips, amused greatly.

"Oh, I won't have to worry about that. The thing is," Riza leaned closer and lowered her voice to a whisper. "I'm wearing two. The one Roy is supposed to remove is a little lower on my leg than the other one. And if he's not smart enough to figure that out, I have a contingency plan."

Winry grinned at this. "I don't know if you remember, but at our wedding, I also wore two garters, one for Ed to take off in front of single drooling idiots, and one to fasten my wrench to my thigh. Because I knew Ed would end up botching everything up if I didn't literally spell things out for him, I had one of them embroidered with a promising death threat if he even attempted to pull it down during the ceremony. Luckily, he's a damn good reader so he was able to get the message pretty quickly. I only had to use the wrench on him once that evening, and he damned well deserved it too." Winry frowned with embarrassment.

"Oh? What did he end up doing to deserve it?" Riza asked, unsure if she really wanted to know.

Winry crossed her arms indignantly. "That jackass thought the wrench was there for something kinky and had the nerve to share it while we were changing out of our wedding attire. The next thing he knew, I had swiftly grabbed my wrench and chucked it at him for suggesting such a thing!"

Riza wasn't sure what she could say in response to that surprising story. Instead, she said, "If Roy even dared to think this gun," she tapped the side of her upper thigh, "is there for that sort of thing, I'll shoot him between the eyes before he can even blink. I'm sure he knows it too which is why I don't think he'll be that stupid."

"Surely not," Winry smirked. "Unlike Ed, your husband doesn't seem to be the type that looks for trouble. I swear, ever since Yuriy was born, Ed seems to know exactly when to piss me off because he knows I won't whack him with a wrench in front of our son, and unless he really ticks me off, by the time we go to bed, I'm so damn tired to even think about being mad at him."

"If he irks you so much on a regular basis, he must really love you," Riza smiled gently.

Winry beamed brightly as she rubbed her tummy. "Yeah, he does."

There was a short, blissful silence between the two friends before Riza spoke again. "How is Yuriy, by the way? Why didn't you bring him up here? We would have loved to see him again."

"We thought about taking him, and I know he would have loved to have seen you all again, but with me entering my seventh month of pregnancy in a few days, it would have been impossible for me to keep watch of him at all times. That two-year-old is a firecracker and loves to run all over the place. I have never seen so much endless energy bounded within a small child before!" Winry exclaimed and couldn't help but laugh afterwards. "Seriously, that kid has more energy than Edward did when he was that age. I'm sure of it." Winry's cheeks suddenly flushed deeply. "But the real reason we decided to leave him with Granny was because Ed and I wanted some alone time. Between becoming really, really pregnant and dealing with an extremely curious toddler who can't seem to want to sleep alone at night, we've had to err on the side of caution in the bedroom. It's been… a while… since we've done anything for ourselves."

Riza chuckled a little, and Winry's cheeks were suddenly flaming red.

For some reason, she felt like she needed to defend her love for her son and almost immediately added, "And don't get me wrong, Ed and I love Yuriy very, very much and wouldn't trade him for anything in the world, but…," she paused and wondered how she could carefully word herself without sounding too winey or too desperate, "I mean, is it wrong to want to have some alone time with my husband every once in a while?"

"Of course not," a kind, gentle voice responded behind Riza. Winry glanced upward as Gracia Hughes padded over to her, taking a seat on the other side of her. "I'm sorry; I couldn't help but overhear as I was walking up to the two of you to say hello."

Though her cheeks were still on fire, Winry shook her head slowly. "Don't be sorry, Mrs. Gracia. I'm thankful for any advice you'd want to give me."

Gracia squeezed Winry's other hand softly. "After Elicia started walking on her own, Maes and I were constantly worried that she would one day walk in on us during our alone time, and there were some nights we were both stir crazy because Elicia didn't want to sleep by herself. We went without weeks of intimacy once, and believe it or not, our lack of alone time unhealthily affected our relationship."

"Then how did you overcome that?" Winry asked as she gently rolled her shoulders backwards to pop some of the kinks in her back.

Gracia laughed sweetly. "One day, Maes called from work and told me to pack ours and Elicia's things and meet him at the train station. Not once on the train did he tell me what he had in mind, but we traveled to East City, and the next thing I knew, we were at the military quarters and Maes was dropping Elicia down into Roy's arms, telling him he was going to be our daughter's babysitter for the next three days. Before Roy could object, Maes grabbed my hand and whisked me back to the train station as if he didn't just leave Elicia in the hands of a totally untrained adult."

Winry covered her mouth as she laughed loudly into her palm. "And how did Roy do with Elicia during your vacation?"

"He didn't," Riza grinned smugly. "When I came in to work that morning, he asked me how much I knew about taking care of kids, and as soon as I told him I used to babysit my neighbor's children, he picked up Elicia – who was apparently sleeping on the floor behind his desk – and handed her off to me, saying something like, 'Lieutenant, I hereby grant you a three-day leave of absence to serve and protect Miss Elicia Hughes as you see fit.'"

Winry was downright crying tears of laughter now and had to blow a slow breath of air to calm herself. "Then what happened?"

"I did as I was instructed and took care of Elicia, but the only way I would agree to leaving his side was to leave all of my paperwork for him to finish. Knowing him though, he more than likely passed it on to either Captain Falmon or Sergeant Major Kain Fuery. I didn't question him afterwards because the most important assignment was successful, and that was all that mattered." Riza replied, giving Gracia a knowing smile.

"And after our vacation, Maes and my relationship improved greatly, and we didn't feel like our daughter tied us down anymore. In fact, after that trip," Gracia flushed a little, "we decided we would rather risk our daughter walking in on us in the bedroom than having another dry spell in our marriage." Her smile softened, and her eyes fell. "Unfortunately, we never did have a chance to have more children, but I wouldn't trade the time I had with my husband for anything."

Winry squeezed Gracia's fingers gently and grinned when the baby kicked against their palms. Before she could say something, however, she noticed Edward walking away from the groom and his military friends and making his way towards her.

That dork was grinning ear to ear as he approached her and gave both Gracia and Riza nods of acknowledgement before directing his attention to her.

"Hey," Winry smiled, reaching out to take his hand in hers.

"Hey," he laced their fingers together. "How are your feet doing?"

"They're sore," Winry wasn't going to lie, "like really, really sore."

Edward frowned with concern. "You think you can make it to the cab? According to Mustang, there's one outside waiting for us whenever we're ready to leave."

"I don't know. Probably not," the mechanic sighed, "I don't even think I can stand up without losing my balance right now."

"Hm," Ed pursed his lips and took a silent moment to think. "What if I carry you?"

"Puh-lease, Ed," Winry cocked her eyebrow, "remember the last time I was six months pregnant? You almost dropped me when walking down the stairs of the house! If you think I'm going to let you carry my fat pregnant ass out of here and possibly drop me in front of these people, then you've got wrench coming to your head," she hissed.

"Jeez, woman! I was trying to be thoughtful!" Edward snapped in a huff as he ripped his hand from hers and crossed his arms tightly to his chest. "Maybe you should try it for a while! You could learn a lot."

"My ass!" Winry retorted as she slowly dropped her feet from the chair in front of her. "No one's more thoughtful in this family than me!" She clenched her fists, really wishing she had her wrench with her right now. With fiery eyes glaring at her husband, she clenched her fists, preparing herself to deck him in the nose if he so much as tried to push her over the edge.

"If you two are ready to go," Riza butted in, "I can go find a wheelchair from the staff. There's no need for you to walk to the cab if you're not up to it."

"No, that won't be necessary," Winry muttered in a suddenly kind voice. "My thoughtful husband will get the damn chair himself if he knows what's good for him."

Ed could have bitten his cheek and do what his wife had demanded him to do, but instead, he had a different plan. Knowing what sort of person his wife was, he decided that getting her angry was the best course of action to get her to the cab. He knew he was risking the contents of his skull by testing the waters, but if Winry was going to be a pistol, then he had to be one too.

"Oh yeah, even if I get you the damn chair," Edward finally fired back, "you're not going to use it, you crazy woman! You only want it so you can pick it up and throw it at my head in place of your wrench." Ed took a step back to bate his wife, and she took it.

He inwardly smirked.

"Oh yeah?!" Winry absentmindedly kicked the chair away from her and rose to her feet, oblivious to any of her actions. She marched up to him and grabbed him by the ear before tugging him straight out the door, leaving a slightly confused Riza and Gracia behind them. Edward's back then slammed against cool metal from the force of Winry's blind determination, but he didn't complain nor yell at her for being so careless. She grabbed him by the collar on both sides of his chest and yanked him down towards her so he could feel the wrath of her anger tenfold. "Just wait until we get back to the hotel, Ed!" she spat angrily, "Then I'll show you just how crazy this pregnant ass woman can be!"

To completely throw her in for a loop and offset the mood, Edward's hands found Winry's curvy hips and gripped them tightly, pulling her closer to him. Her belly bumped into his taut abdomen, and he grinned smugly. "Oh, I'm looking forward to it." His hands slid down lower to her ass, and if she wasn't so baffled by his unexpected reaction, she would have punched him. Instead, her face went from ghastly white to deep red in a matter of seconds. Still thinking she was inside the reception hall, Winry reached backwards and grabbed his hands before slipping them back to her hips; he overpowered her embarrassment easily and slid his hands right back down to where they were. "E-Ed, w-what are you doing?!"

"Congratulating you," he snickered as his hands pinned her tightly to him as he spun around and pinned her against the cool metal that was once behind him. Before he could give her another explanation, he leaned forward and kissed her long and deep, confusing Winry even more.

Weren't they just in the middle of an argument?

"Ed…"

"Hm?" He moved to feather light kisses along her jaw, causing her to tilt her neck to the side. Silently, her body encouraged him to sweep his lips down her throat and as he complied, her eyes rolled with delight. "Oh, Ed," she moaned quietly, "We..., we can't… we c-can't do this here." But damn did it feel so good! Both of his hands were pushing up against her swollen, enlarged breasts, making her feel floaty inside. "It's Riza and Roy's wedding reception…"

Ed grinned wickedly. "Not out here it ain't."

That certainly got the mechanic's attention. "Not out here?" She suddenly jerked forward and noticed she was outside of the reception and leaning against the cab. "How? When?"

"When you were mad," Ed snickered proudly, "you moved us out here automatically. All I had to do was enrage you enough to want to storm us away from the crowd unknowingly."

As Ed bent over and continued to shake with laughter, Winry blinked and frowned. So, the whole thing about getting me mad was an act? Just so he didn't have to get me a wheelchair? She clenched her fists and waved them as they shook with aggravation and anger. That jerk!

"Winry?" Ed finally sobered up and was pining her to the vehicle again, his voice deep and strikingly sensual.

Too exhausted and tired to punch him in that stupidly beautiful face of his, she relented but kept her frown, wanting him to realize she wasn't happy with him. "Hm?"

Edward leaned in close, his lips just in front of her ear as he lowered his voice even more, "You're damn right sexy when you're pissed off as hell and pregnant, you know that?"

"Careful," Winry gulped in response to Ed's powerful charm, "as sexy as that might seem, pissed off as hell and pregnant might not be in the mood later if you keep angering her."

He leaned in close as he mindlessly opened the backdoor to the cab and smirked as he slowly lowered his mouth onto hers. "I think I'll take my chances."

…

They couldn't get into the cab fast enough.

This didn't come out the way I had envisioned it, but I had so much fun writing this story and wouldn't change it for the world. THANK YOU edxwin-elric for the prompt! I very much enjoyed exploring it.

:)