Nick's Perspective

Nick was in a rut.

The last few weeks had been trying in more ways than one.

Work at the bar had become more monotonous than he had ever experienced. The drunken weekday regulars and the late night shifts and the tireless attention from college girls on Friday nights had worn him ragged. Since breaking up with Kai a few months before, Nick realized he was no longer as interested in meaningless one night stands as he had been earlier in the year. And suddenly, for how much Nick typically loved it, bartending itself suddenly had become boring to him. While Nick did sometimes have the tendency to cruise by in various aspects of his life, his latest dabbles in business ventures with Schmidt had created an overload of creative energy.

He wanted to innovate. He wanted to pursue. He wanted to grow. But he just didn't know how.

To make matters worse, one of his best friends, Coach, had just moved across the country to start a new chapter in his life with his girlfriend May. Not that Nick should have been surprised; Coach had been a transient his entire life. Even still, it was always tough when he left. Coach personified energy and perseverance, and Nick had come to find that energy inspiring as of late.

And then there was Schmidt. His business partner, his constant companion. A newly engaged man. Nick was happy for him and for Cece, he really was, but Nick couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for himself at the same time. If someone asked him ten years ago who he thought would be the first of the duo to get married, he wouldn't have hesitated to think it would have been himself.

And at one point, he definitely envisioned Jess as the woman he would marry.

When he had been dating Jess, Nick could feel himself changing for the better. He knew he was getting closer to becoming the person, whoever it may be, that he wanted to be. And so when he lost her as his girlfriend, the old, destructive habits returned, and he lost himself in self-doubt and casual flings and a vicious daily cycle of tedium.

It is a strange feeling to see one's friends moving on, pursuing deeper and more meaningful relationships and career endeavors, and by contrast, to find one's self still stuck in the same patterns begun years and years before.

But such was the situation for Nick Miller. And predictably, the convergence of all of these factors had once again rendered him the resident loft grump, perpetually plagued by a distinct turtle-like demeanor.

The Saturday morning after Schmidt proposed to Cece, Nick awoke suddenly to sounds of laughter and merriment coming from the kitchen.

Nope.

He was not in the mood for this.

He had only been asleep for a few hours, as Mike had made him stay late at the bar for an obscene amount of time last night. All Nick wanted to do now was to sleep past noon, but the people outside of his door were making sure that that would never happen. Nick rolled over and smashed his pillow against his ears attempting to block out the chatter, but to absolutely no avail.

It was hopeless. He was now awake.

Wide awake.

With a groan and a rough shedding of his quilt, Nick stomped into his slippers and ambled out the door to gauge the reason for all of the damn commotion. His grumbling did not cease as he rounded the corner to see Jess, Schmidt, Cece, and Winston gathered around the dining room table for breakfast, talking excitedly about God only knew what.

How could people be this chipper so early in the goddamn morning?

"Jessica Christopher Day, this is positively the best idea you've ever had! Who knew that a public school principal had the ability to concoct a celebration of such epic proportions?"

As Schmidt's somewhat offensive comment was met by jeers from the group, Nick made the last few steps to the dining room table, gripped the back of the empty chair in front of him, and interrupted their conversation with a low growl. "What in hell's name could possibly going on here at 8 a.m. on a Saturday?"

"Good morning to you, too, Mr. Sunshine!" Jess replied brightly as she quickly moved to pour Nick a cup of coffee. Her hand brushed his lightly as she handed him the mug, but he was feeling too irritable in that moment to properly acknowledge the slight chill that ran up his arm as a result of their contact.

"Today's the day, Nicholas! Jessica has planned a momentous celebration of Cecelia's and my engagement for this weekend! A wine tasting tour up north along the Pacific Coast Wine Trail. What a perfect way to get a jump start on our wedding planning, hey Nick?"

Nick instantly felt his face fall into turtle-mode as he dragged one palm over his eyes and nose. He couldn't really explain why this news annoyed him so much, but he made tiny fists with his toes in an effort to steady the growing irritation in his voice.

"Today?" Nick asked tersely. His friends stared at him, a look of confusion playing on their faces. "Doesn't that seem like kind of a last-minute plan, gang?"

"Nick," Jess said. "Remember last week when I asked if you were busy this weekend and you said you weren't? I told you about this trip then and you agreed it was a good idea. I just thought it might be nice to officially celebrate Schmidt and Cece's engagement together. We'll go to a few wineries, do some tastings, and help them pick out the wine for their wedding. Don't you remember when you and I talked about this?"

Nick closed his eyes and sighed. He did remember the conversation. Well, he at least remembered where he had been for the conversation. The details of what he and Jess had discussed that evening were definitely a little hazy. Jess had been sitting next to him on the couch, knees curled underneath her. She was about ready to go to bed, clad in her pink robe, her big blue eyes peering at him from behind her glasses. He was drinking a beer, trying to mentally prepare himself for another arduous evening at the bar. She was casually asking him about his plans for the following Saturday and Sunday. He nodded, said a few words, and she left to go to sleep.

And that was pretty much all that he remembered from that exchange. He had been so mesmerized by the way her dark hair had fallen around her shoulders, by the creamy skin of her legs exposed beneath her robe, so utterly distracting—where had she put that damn sex mug? – that the quick run-down of the plans and his subsequent acknowledgment of those plans had pretty much been erased from his memory entirely.

Damn it, he really needed to do a better job of paying attention to the words she spoke to him these days, rather than to…other Jess-related things.

But ever since the day he found out that she had left that mug out for him, signaling her apparent interest in rekindling some sort of—interaction—between the two of them…

Well, he could just add that one to the already long list of things that had been messing with his head lately.

"Yeah, Jess. Sure. I remember. But why so far away? There are perfectly good wineries close by!"

"Nick," Schmidt began more quietly. "You know it's always been my dream to go wine-tasting for my wedding out on the Pacific Coast Wine Trail."

"Nick, dude, chill out. I'm driving anyway. It's no big deal," Winston added.

Nick concentrated on relaxing his toes and drawing deep breaths. He was being ridiculous. He knew that. He was just exhausted and it was his own stupid fault that he hadn't remembered that this weekend was the big weekend. It wasn't fair to Schmidt and Cece and the others to let his recent weirdness affect their time to celebrate together.

"Yeah, sure. Sorry, Schmidt. Sorry, guys. I've been so crazed at work lately, I guess I just forgot. I'll go get ready." While Nick's intentions to apologize were true, his response still sounded clipped, brusque. His body language mirrored his tone of voice as he quickly turned on his heel and marched back to his bedroom.

Nick had just collapsed onto his bed when not thirty seconds later, he heard three light taps on his door and the creak of the wood as it opened. Slipping through the opening in the doorframe was Jess, her furrowed brow alerting him to her worry.

"Nick, what's going on? Are you okay? What happened back there?"

Nick tried not to stare at her as she stood illuminated by the early morning sun creeping in through his bedroom window. Even when she wasn't fully made up or showered…God…she was still gorgeous.

He shook his head quickly to clear his brain. He needed to focus. And he was by no means about to plague Jess, or anyone else for that matter, with the crap that was going on with him lately.

"Nothing, Jess. I'm fine, really. I'm just annoyed at Mike for making me stay so late at the bar last night. I'll be fine, I promise. You don't need to check on me. I promise I won't ruin the weekend." Nick stood up from his bed and began moving around, shuffling through piles of clothes, trying to look anywhere except at her.

"It's just…Nick…I haven't seen you get so worked up over something so small in awhile. Are you sure there's nothing I can do to help?"

Nick continued his charade of looking for something to wear to the godforsaken wineries way up north. He was tempted just to leave in a hoodie and sweatpants. "Nope," he replied, still not looking at her. "It's all good."

As he shuffled by her to start sifting through the limited contents of his closet, Jess gently grabbed his arm. This time, there was absolutely no ignoring the jolt he felt through his skin as her fingers closed around his wrist.

"Nick," she whispered. "Just look at me for a second, please?" He obeyed. She had always held an inexplicable power over him.

"Just…try to relax today. This weekend is supposed to be fun, not stressful. You can nap in the car to reenergize. Just take a few deep breaths, and please put on a smile for Schmidt and Cece today, okay?" She hesitated slightly, then took a deep breath. "And if not for them, then for me?"

This placated Nick. His eyes softened and for the first time all morning, the corners of his mouth turned upward into a small smile. He nodded slowly as an answer to her question, and Jess gave his arm one final squeeze before turning to head out toward her own room.

"Thanks," she said. "I really appreciate it." And just like that, she was gone.

For a solid minute, Nick stood frozen to the spot where Jess had left him, contemplating how he had agreed to be on his best behavior simply because she had asked him to. Not necessarily because it was his best friend's time to shine, but rather, because Jess had pleaded with him with those undeniably convincing eyes.

And all he could think was, Yes, yes of course, Jess. Whatever you say. I'll do it.

Nick absently stroked the place on his arm where her fingers had just been, recalling the warmth of her touch and the undeniable fact that Jess was back to complicating and confusing his life.

Just add that one to the list, too.