Chapter 1

We left in the middle of the night. It was my decision but I still regretted that it meant I wouldn't get a chance to say goodbye. Of course, my world had been filled with nothing but goodbyes ever since the decision was made to go so maybe I wasn't missing all that much. And Mom would just have cried, which would have made everyone else cry, which would have made me cry. And I wasn't going to do that, at least not when people could see me.

"So, where to, love?"

I looked out the window, staring at the world passing us by and the miles between us and Mystic Falls grow. I suddenly remembered the moment that put this all in action – my proudest moment and my greatest regret.

If I come with you, will you leave?

"Caroline?"

I turned to face Klaus, who had that annoying smirk on his face. "I don't care," I told him. "Just .. whatever. Wherever."

"Alright then," he replied and I didn't even have to look to know that the smirk was still there. "Paris it is."

Paris. The City of Love. I've dreamed of Paris since I was a little girl and I don't even care if that makes me a walking cliche, it's the truth. And because of that, there is no way in hell I can go there with Klaus.

"Pick somewhere else," I told him.

Klaus looked at her, eyebrows raised. "Didn't you just say whatever, wherever?"

The annoyed sound I made didn't even begin to express what I actually felt. "Anywhere in the country. I don't actually have a passport."

"While that is one of the saddest things I've ever heard," he said, "it isn't exactly something we have to worry about. Do you actually think I have any ID myself?"

"No, I suppose not," I had to admit. "But I still don't exactly feel like going abroad right now." Or ever, I wanted to add but didn't. I knew that was a road – or ocean – I was going to have to cross eventually but I'd deal with that later. Like Scarlett O'Hara always said, tomorrow is another day. Or night.

Or nightmare.

"Fine," Klaus said, "if you insist. It has been some time since I was in New York last, would that suit your fancy better?"

I had to take a slow, deep breath before I could answer. "Sure, sounds great," I lied. If he knew I was lying – and of course, he knew – he didn't let on, only calling up their destination to the driver, one of the very last hybrids Klaus had.

Surprisingly, the rest of the trip passed by quickly and silently. And, I had to admit, I actually did get a little excited the first time I spotted that familiar cityscape. Or at least, I got excited until I reminded myself just who I was here with.

I looked over at him and could tell he was about to ask where to once again. So I put on my best smile and beat him to it. "Fifth Avenue and 49th Street," I told him. "We can start at one end and work our way to the other."

Klaus chuckled. "Now how did I know you were going to say that."

I rolled my eyes and turned away, imaging all the shopping I could do today and just for a moment feeling like myself. I even notice a couple of goosebumps rise along my arms as the words Saks & Company stand before me.

As I walked into the store, I remembered the first time I came here with my father. Daddy told me that it was the most magical store in the world and I still believed him then and now. Everything I'd ever dreamed of was here at my fingertips. I knew immediately where I wanted to go first and I walked there quickly, ignoring the sound of Klaus as he followed. I considered taking the elevator but instead headed towards the stairs, knowing that no one uses them which meant I could go up as fast as I wanted. The door had barely shut behind me – behind us – before I was standing on the eight floor or, as I like to call it, Shoe Heaven.

Prada, Jimmy Choo, Dolce & Gabbana ... they were all there and so many others. And today, unlike before, I was going to leave with at least one pair of them. Probably a lot more than one.

Everything I saw that I like, I picked up and tried on. Some I put back but most I pass to a salesgirl who seems almost glued to my side. At first, I thought she was just trying to be helpful but after the fifth pair or so I passed to her without her saying I word, I realized she was just another poor human girl, trapped in Klaus' compulsion.

"Seriously?" I asked him after putting the shoes I'd been trying on back on the shelf.

He shrugged. "What can I say, love, this is how the smart vampire shops. And don't worry about paying for anything either. Money is fairly meaningless, when you've lived for a millennium."

I thought about arguing but suddenly couldn't muster up the energy for it, especially not when a part of me could see his point. "Right, whatever," I muttered, reaching for another pair, with that salesgirl still standing ready and waiting and completely oblivious. I did my best not to think that this moment might be a preview of my life to come.

By the time the day was done, I'd long lost track of how many things I'd tried on and how many bags were waiting for me in the hotel, taken there courtesy of the hybrid driver-turned-delivery-boy. I couldn't even remember exactly how many stores we'd been to. Definitely a lot. A lot more than a lot. But even I had my limits and, eventually, I found myself back in the car, Klaus still right by my side.

"Where shall we go out to dinner?" he asked. "Even if the finest cuisine in the world can't compare with a hot jugular vein, it isn't half bad. Besides, it's always been a good place to find the real meal."

I sighed. "I'm not hungry. Please just take me to the hotel."

He was silent for long enough that I turned to face him, trying to figure him out, always. He actually almost looked hurt but I couldn't trust that and I definitely couldn't start feeling sorry for him now. That never ends well, just ask the hybrids.

Just ask Tyler.

"Look," I said to him finally, "it's been a long day and I'm tired and so far from home and everyone I care about. I just want to go somewhere quiet and just sit. Is that so unreasonable?"

"No, of course not," he murmured. "As you wish."

I caught myself gaping at him slightly, then quickly turned away. There's no way he's seen The Princess Bride, is there? No ... at least, I don't think so. Whatever. I look back out the window and watch all the people going about their lives, so busy and hectic and simple. So human.

And then I caught sight of another sign that captured my interest, though for entirely different reasons than anything on Fifth Avenue. "Wait, stop," I called up to the driver. He looked at Klaus in the mirror, who nodded. I opened the door and quickly stepped out.

As Klaus shifted to join me, I turned back. "No, I'm going to that store," I told him, pointing towards the nearby store that had quite a few Xs in its name. "And I'm going alone. I'm suddenly single with needs, after all." I turned around and sauntered off before he could say a word or smirk or something worse that I was even going to speculate about.

I walked in looking as confident as can be, a speciality of mine, despite the fact that I've never actually been in a sex shop and really didn't know what exactly I was looking for. For just a moment, I thought about turning around and leaving but I wasn't not going to give Klaus the satisfaction of witnessing that. And so I ended up walking down the aisle of vibrators and picking out the most expensive one that didn't look too intimidating. A compulsion later and I was on my way, a discreet white bag in hand.

"All done," I told Klaus with a smile as I got back into the car. "Let's get going, I have a few things I'd like to try on again." I smiled again as I realized that for once he had nothing to say.

I was still feeling very pleased with myself as we entered the hotel penthouse and I quickly claimed the larger of the two bedrooms for myself, which meant the hybrid needed to move all the bags over. I watched him work and began to count. Ten, twenty, thirty ... forty-one in total. It really had been a busy day.

As he brought in the last bag, I realized that I something that I didn't like about myself and had to change immediately. "What's your name?" I asked.

He glanced at me, only for a moment. "Thomas," he said, before making a quick retreat. I frowned, wondering what the hell that was about but didn't have time to answer the question before I heard my cellphone buzzing about in my purse. It wasn't the first time I'd heard it today – not even close – but it is the first time I let myself find out why.

There were ten voicemails and twenty texts – from my mother, from Elena, from Stefan. The latest one though, it was from Tyler and I almost, almost want to read it. But instead I took a deep breath and squeezed the phone as hard as I could, until it falls in pieces on the floor.

I looked at those pieces and I looked at the bags and I looked at this room, the most luxurious place I have ever been, and I felt emptier than I ever had before.