My name is Mia. I'm twenty two years old and I just graduated college last fall with a double major in Theater and English from Southern Utah University in Cedar City. Although I have a passion for helping others learn, I have to admit I am a little selfish and love to learn for myself even more. Because of that, I have worked hard the last two years to prepare for a career (or at least an adventure) that allows me to have the best of both worlds and make money while I do it. In just a few days, I am leaving to South Korea to teach English as a second language.
Why South Korea? Well, it's about as far away from my hometown of Moab, Utah as possible. That, and I basically threw a dart and decided to go where fate takes me. Now that I am about to leave I am questioning that decision and my heart pounds every time I look around and see my suitcases packed and ready to go. But I wasn't raised a quitter and I didn't put in two years of research, money, and interviewing to give in now. The tickets are non-refundable and so is my ambition. Hopefully two years of Korean practice every morning will help. Thanks to the Korean language CDs at the library and the Korean church I have attended every Sunday, I at least have enough to communicate the basics. Granted, I am no expert and the elderly Korean ladies I sing hymns with are probably way too nice about my pronunciation, but I am proud of the progress I have made.
As an English major, of course I love language. But I also love theater and performance. That is one of the reasons I fell in love with the new culture I am leaving to take part in (or at least be a respectful viewer of). There is so much elegance and artfulness in Korean culture that I cannot wait to experience for myself. K-pop is a great example. There are so many awesome groups but just like so many, I have to admit my favorite is BTS.
They are just so talented. Their charisma is undeniable. And every one of their music videos is a work of art. Their incredible dancing and acting paired with the breathtaking visuals and complex themes are so unique in the world of music nowadays. As both a Theater and English nerd, I could analyze them all day. But ultimately, I just enjoy BTS. They make me happy. All of them. But especially V. There's just something about him I can't shake. Maybe its his refusal to take himself too seriously or the way he always offers a unique perspective. Whatever it is, I love it. When I am not hiking, reading, or working on a new production, I spend way too much time watching BTS videos. But I'm sure you can relate to that.
As I look around my room, I realize once again just how far away I am going and it really hits me. My hair is half way down my back, bright red and wavy from the braids I slept in last night. Normally, it's very straight. My freckles (which are only on my cheeks) stand out against my pale face, but since I spent so much time outside, I am not as pale as most redheads. That being said, I'm not exactly tan, either. My eyelashes are long and golden colored, not dark and thick like most girls I know. But I like that. For an American, I am not very tall at five foot four inches. But all of these things will make me stick out like a sore thumb in Korea. I laugh as I say goodbye to blending in for the next couple years.
It's official: I have no more packing or cleaning to kill time. I pull out my phone and watch some BTS Run before bed. It will help me to stop the nerves welling up inside of my stomach and tears pooling in my eyes. With the pillows and blankets left out of my bags, I pile them into a cozy little cocoon for myself and snuggle in for an evening of relaxation. As a reflex, I search for the English subtitle versions first, then remember I can get by without them. Sometimes, I still miss some things in Korean but I have watched them enough times to follow along pretty well. My favorite pops right up- the one where V and RM climb Achasan Mountain. Perhaps it's my love of hiking that makes it my favorite, but I also just love how cute V looks all bundled up early in the morning. Plus, the way he eats the meal Jin cooked for them is adorable. Sigh. I'm a college graduate obsessing over a celebrity who will never know I exist. I snuggle further into my nest and slowly fall asleep.
The next two days pass like a flash- triple checking all my paperwork and spending as much time as possible with my friends and family. Let's be honest, they all say they will visit but I know personally how much tickets to Southeast Asia cost. It may be a couple years before I see them again. That's a tough pill to swallow. It's one thing to move to the dorms for college, it's another to move across the world to a country where you know nobody. Thank goodness for facetime.
I wanted to get a job in the countryside or by the beaches of Busan, but I ended up accepting an offer in the one place I didn't plan on ending up in Korea- smack dab in the middle of Seoul. Now, if you've never heard of Moab, it's for a reason. There is tons of natural beauty all around but it's not exactly metropolitan or populous. Seoul, now that is a big city. It's sure going to be a shock. But the money was great and the school I interviewed with seemed so much more creative and exciting than the others. Plus, I get to take part in a kid's theater program they offer as well. It's pretty much exactly what I wanted. So big city, here I come! Prepare to be dazzled by this red hair and my mediocre language skills!
(Two days later, from the living room of my tiny new apartment in Seoul)
So remember what I said about Korea being dazzled? Yeah, I totally had it backwards. Seoul is I.N.C.R.E.D.I.B.L.E. There is mouth-watering street food of every kind imaginable, performers, lights and beautiful signs. And the people are so welcoming. Not once have I asked for directions and been snubbed. In fact, every person I have talked to has been extra kind since I am a foreigner speaking their language. Some even walked me part of the way to make sure I wouldn't get lost. Since my new job doesn't start for a week, I have a little time to walk around the streets of my new home and take in as much as I possibly can.
Just for a change of pace, I decide to go to a movie theater and see what it is like outside of America. Besides, all this walking is making my feet hurt. Since I spent my whole morning inside my apartment unpacking and organizing, I decide it would be fun to dress up a little for the theater. My mom always told me she loved to dress up for the movies. Since it is so dark, it means you are dressing up just for you and nobody else. I like that.
When it comes to fancy clothes, I like to keep it simple. I pull out a black fuzzy sweater (the softest sweater I own- perfect for this cloudy day) and my favorite green pleated skirt. Underneath, I wear black tights and some platform sandals. Simple, but put together. Then, I add a couple shiny silver necklaces, my grandmother's emerald ring, and some soft waves in my hair. I keep my makeup minimal, with some brown mascara and blush on my cheeks. Then, I'm ready to head out. The walk there is chilly, so I burrow into my coat and mostly keep my head down. At the box office, I decide to see Train to Busan. It's the only one I've heard of and it has been in theaters a while, so I figure it won't be too crowded.
The theater is only about a quarter full like I expected. In row after row, the whole space is filled with couples. I guess I shouldn't have expected families to bring their kids to a zombie movie. Well, except for the one in the upper right. My guess is they'll be leaving early when their kids freak out. I scan the whole auditorium to find a good place to sit. Here's another weird fact about my movie-going habits (also thanks to my mom): I never sit alone. Yep. Even if I come alone, I ask someone to sit by them. I hate watching them and having nobody to share my popcorn with or make little comments to. I realize most of the time people like to keep to themselves and never leave their comfort zones, but I figure life is too short. Sometimes, I get really shy, but for some reason, things like this don't scare me. At last, I spot one person sitting alone in the very back row, his hood up over a baseball cap which further darkens his face. I grin. Found my target.
As confidently as I can, I approach him up the steps. Either he really doesn't want to be bothered or he is having a very bad skin day, but I am undeterred. The worst that happens is he won't sit by me. It's happened before. When I reach him, I can tell he is looking at me, but I can't see his face very well in the dim room. I speak to him quietly in Korean.
"Hi. My name is Mia. I know this is unusual but I don't like to sit alone during movies. Can I sit by you? I am not flirting or anything, you're just the only person sitting alone here." I explain, grinning through the awkwardness. He hesitates a moment, suspicious. When he continues to say nothing, I think maybe I got my Korean wrong. "Did that make sense?" I ask. "I have studied Korean for a while, but I just moved here a few days ago. I am sorry if my speaking is a little rough." I say, worried I am just digging a deeper hole. He laughs very softly. My brow furrows- something feels oddly familiar about his laugh.
"You speak perfectly. I've just never met someone who would rather sit by a stranger than by themself at the movies." He says. Again, I shake off the odd quickening of my pulse from his voice.
"So? Is that a yes? I promise I won't bother you. And you are welcome to have some of my popcorn." I say. I realize maybe this is way overboard especially outside of my own country. Korea's more conservative values are something I will need to grapple with. Maybe I should have waited for a girl to sit by….
"Okay. You can sit by me. It's such an odd request, I can't even say no. Hah. And my friends say I'm weird." He laughs a little again, then scoots the the edge of his seat to put as much distance between me and him as possible in two movie theater seats bolted right next to each other. I grin excitedly and take the cue to sit. I may as well take the offer while it's there. Once I have sat down, I offer mystery man some popcorn, which he hesitantly accepts. I smile as he chomps down on it in the most adorable way, just like Taehyung- Oh. My. God. One guy, sitting alone in the corner of a dark theater. His hood is up and his hat covers his face. When some girl approaches him, he gets super nervous like he doesn't want her to recognize him. Am I sitting next to V?!
No. No way. That's ridiculous, Mia. Out of all the crazy things that could happen in Seoul, that's the least likely. You have a better chance of getting struck by lightning. Still, his voice sounded so familiar. I can't help but glance over at him. Now that my eyes have adjusted to the dark, I can see his face better. When I do, all I can do is stare. Kim Taehyung, one seventh of BTS, the world's biggest boy band, is sitting right next to me, sharing my popcorn. And I just awkwardly walked up to him and asked to sit down. What the hell is wrong with me?!
Breathe, Mia. He notices my nervous stare quickly and sighs in disappointment. It's clear he is nervous I will freak out and gets ready to leave. As he is about to stand up, the movie starts, and I grab his arm. The moment couldn't have been better choreographed.
"Wait." I whisper, urging him to sit back down. He seems distrustful now, but sits for a moment to avoid the attention of our fellow viewers. "I had no idea it was you. I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you I am freaking out a little right now, but I won't tell anyone. I know you don't know me, but I don't want to tell people you're here. You have every right to see a movie in peace. How about I leave?" I suggest, gathering my things. We both notice the people nearby getting a little restless from our whispers, though they can't make out what we are saying.
"No, we've already drawn too much attention. If either of us leaves now, everyone will see me. Just sit and watch the movie." He says, a little annoyed now. My heart drops. I feel so bad. I bet he hardly ever gets to sneak out and do something like this and I have ruined it. All because I can't watch one stupid movie alone. Well, you better believe from now on, I will be sitting all by myself at the theater.
About halfway into the film, the tension begins to relax a little. I at least try to focus on the story. Every time I do, I just remember V is sitting beside me. That kinda wrecks the immersion. Finally, I gain the courage to glance over at him, but of course I am not subtle enough and he notices.
"It's been a long time since I watched a movie with anyone but my other members. Although I am afraid of getting caught here, I am glad I have someone to sit next to." SWOON. I swallow the lump in my throat and wrack my brain for something to say. It's at this point I realize how good he smells. That doesn't help.
"I'm sorry I made it more difficult. If I had known who you were sooner, I would have left you alone. Mostly because I would be way too scared." I admit. He smirks, but doesn't reply. The rest of the film flies by as we sit there, the most unlikely pairing. The family with kids leaves early, just like I guessed. I am sad when the credits roll, knowing it will be the last time I see him. There was no reason for him to see me again. This one chance meeting is serendipitous enough. He stands to go and I grin sadly at him.
"What are you waiting for? We have to leave together now, or people will be confused. Besides, you can walk next to me and attract all the attention away with your hair." He says. I just gulp, nod, and follow his lead. As he walks down the red-carpeted hallway, he saunters back and forth randomly between the left and right walls like someone who has all the time in the world. It makes me happy, and I suddenly wish I lived my life more like that. But before I can go too far down that rabbit hole, I remember who I am following and get nervous all over again. Be cool. We go out the back doors to an alley where a sleek black car is waiting. I start to walk away when he is safely inside but it pulls up next to me and the door opens. I cock my head to the side at V's face waiting inside, but get in anyway.
"Why am I actually getting in your car?" I ask. The gig is up- he made out like a thief.
"I've never met someone like you before. You sit by strangers at movies, you cover for celebrities with calm collectedness, and you move across the world? Who are you?" He asks.
"Uh…. Just Mia, I guess." I reply stupidly. But V smiles.
"Well, just Mia. I'm V. Nice to meet you. Now give the driver your address so we can take you home." He says. I am in utter shock, but somehow I find the will to get in anyway. The inside of the car is immaculate- all shiny black leather seats and perfectly polished siding. And then there's V. He sits with his legs sprawled and his arm casually slung over the seat back to his left. His clothes are expensive but look effortlessly casual. Just how I like my own. I can't help but recognize the similarity in our style of outfits. His faded green hair is falling into his eyes despite how many times he has brushed it back. Without his hat and hood, I wonder how it was possible for me not to recognize him. I take the seat across from him, which is the farthest away. He laughs.
"Am I that scary?" He asks. I blush.
"No. You're not scary, but who expects to just run into an internationally famous pop star at the movies and end up in the car with them?" I lean back to give the driver my address.
"Well, to be honest, it's not often I get to interact with people like this. Especially fans. So I'm a little nervous too." He says, and I get the sense he is being genuine. I smile in appreciation. It's sweet that he is trying to make me feel comfortable. We ride in silence for a few minutes.
"I have to ask. I imagine you and the other BTS members never expected to get this big. What is it like? I am sure it's great but also has a lot of downfalls. Like not being able to just see a movie for instance." I say. I had to break the silence somehow and I had always wondered. They always ensure their fans that they love their lives, but there has to be more to it. I feel bad for celebrities who are so famous that they are deprived of many things other people take for granted. My question caught him off guard. He must have been expecting me to ask him something less serious. Before answering, I can see the thoughts flying through his head.
"I don't know to be honest. The other members and I used to talk about that, but it's kind of exhausting to think about. If I spend my limited free time thinking about all the things I can't do, how will I find fulfillment? Instead, I do what I can to enjoy my life and I remember how grateful I am for all of our fans. I am grateful they see something in us that is worthwhile, that maybe we can make them happy." I feel my chest welling up a little bit, so take a deep breath. The last thing I need to do is cry right now.
"Well, I think that's beautiful. I see that enjoyment in everything you do. I've been a fan for quite a while now and it's clear that you make the most of every moment. I love how earnest you are about who you are and what you do." I pause and think of the whimsical way he way he walked down the hallway just a while ago. "And you're so funny. You always make me laugh." I blush and stop myself from listing off every reason I love him. I don't need to pour my heart out to him right now.
"Anyway. Thank you for giving so much of yourself to Armys. It means more than you could ever know." I realize then that we have arrived at my house and it is time to get out. "Thank you for the ride, Taehyung oppa. Be sure to take care of yourself." I say formally, opening the car door and climbing out after bowing. I try not to make eye contact because I am embarrassed and holding back tears. But he grabs my wrist before I can walk away. Just like I grabbed his in the theater.
"Wait. Can I see you again?" He asks. My eyes grow wide in shock.
"Me?" I ask, flabbergasted. He chuckles.
"No, the old woman who is walking behind you." He jokes. I blush deeper.
"Uh, y-yes. If you want. I can give you my number?" I say as smoothly as I can under the circumstances. He hands me his phone and I add a new contact. I just gave Kim Taehyung my number. He want to see me again. He hardly knows me, why does he want to see me? I hand it back and try not to dwell on the fact that our hands brush lightly when he takes it back. He smiles and he continues to lean outside the door.
"I hope to see you soon Mia. Thanks for asking to sit by me." He says, then leans back and closes the door. I just stand on the curb and wave as he drives away. I can't tell if he looks back because the car windows are blacked out. When the car has completely disappeared around the corner, a light rain begins to fall on my unprotected head. I don't move, I just let it fall and breathe in the fresh scent. When I start to shiver, I force myself to walk back to my door. But before I go inside, my phone buzzes. I pull it out and see a text from an unknown number. I open it. "I know you couldn't see but I was waving back at you." Now that he's gone, I don't contain my excited shriek and happy dance. Once inside, I save his number in my phone and spend the evening thinking about every moment I just spent with Kim Taehyung. This has to be the best day ever.