AN: (This plays on the trope that only one half of a couple cooks well. Sorry if that offends you, but I gave you fair warning for the rest of the fic.) We have all seen Steven's awesome bagel sandwich making skills, and Connie is already good at too many things, so let's see what happens when she tries to cook.
Connie was standing in front of the oven, waiting for the timer to go off. She had set it for the highest recommended time on the recipe to make sure that the egg was thoroughly cooked. She had decided to add in an extra egg in addition to the salt to substitute for sugar, which her parents would never buy. She had also added double the amount of cocoa powder, because she knew Steven liked chocolate. Finally, the timer went off, and she turned off the oven and pulled out the tray of chocolate cookies. If she was being honest, they were a bit drier looking and a tad darker than the photo on the online recipe, but they still smelled like the cocoa powder, if a bit smokey. Nevertheless, Steven would no doubt enjoy them, which was why she was up at 1:00a.m making these things without permission. She tipped the cookies into a box lined with parchment paper, and hid it behind her cereal in the cabinet. She couldn't wait to give them to Steven tomorrow!
"Hi Connie!" Steven excitedly greeted her at the door. She was wearing the same outfit she had when they had taken selfies together before the love letter incident. She was holding the cookies behind her back, but Steven had not noticed quite yet. "Hi Steven. Where are the Gems?" "Garnet's on an under-lava mission, Pearl and Peridot are at the barn, and Amethyst's in her room. What's that you are holding behind your back?" "Oh, you mean these? I made you cookies!" She opened the box, presenting it to Steven. "Want one?"
No, he did not particularly want one. The were burnt, and smelled acidic. But he couldn't tell her that. Maybe just say I'll eat one later. Oh, but she looked so cute right now, he just couldn't turn her down. "Sure, I'll have some." Her smile brightened. Man, he was going to regret this. He grabbed not one, but two cookies, and bit into the first. It was awful. It was like someone had poured bitter cocoa powder on top of salted eggs, then smoked the whole thing on a grill. And that person was the one he had a crush on. Gah, why did she have to look so adorable right now?! He gulped, and shoved the remaining 1.5 cookies into his mouth, chewing quickly. "They're great, Connie. Now, do you want to play any games?"
As they played video games, Steven began to feel progressively nauseous. By the time Connie had to go, he had let her win the last few rounds just so that he didn't have to focus on the game too much through his pain. He could barely hold himself together as they said goodbye, and Connie nearly found him out, asking if he was ok. He said just a bit tired from all their fun, and she made him promise to get plenty of sleep that night. As soon as she was out of sight, he ran to the bathroom and vomited. A lot. Afterwards, he crawled into bed, not caring that he had had no dinner. Still, he had to rush to the bathroom two more times that night, and didn't really get to sleep until after 2:00a.m. Somehow, both Garnet and Pearl returned in between these bouts, and both were too tired from their days to do more than check on the sleeping, seemingly fine boy briefly before heading into their rooms. Steven rathered that they did not know of this anyways.
When he woke up, the birds were chirping, the sun was shining, and his stomache felt empty and still a bit painful. He slowly got up and groggily got ready for the day. As he managed to eat some toast for breakfast, Amethyst walked out of her room. "Mornin' Steven. Oh hey, cookies!" Indeed, Connie had left the chocolate flavored vomit biscuits on the counter. Before he could stop her, she grabbed one and shoved it in. Immediately, she ran to the trash can and spat it out. "Yuck, even I wouldn't eat these. Why do you even have these, Steven?" He sighed. "Connie made them and gave them to me yesterday." "Then how come they're still here if they're so gross?" "I ate two of them and told her they were great." Amethyst had a mixture of pride and worry on her face. "Hardcore, dude. You a-ok?" It was at this moment that his cell rang. He looked at the caller id. Connie. He composed himself, and then answered. "Hi Connie." Hi, Steven. I was wondering if I could come over again today. "Uh, no, sorry, uh, today's not a good day for..." Really, you sure? ... Steven, are you feeling alr. He didn't hear the rest, as the little toast he had eaten would not stay down in his cocoa tormented stomache. He tried his very best to hold the phone away as he vomited, but she still heard the sounds of his retching. When he was done, he wiped his mouth and returned the phone to his ear. A poor choice. STEVEN ARE YOU OKAY? Is it a virus or something you... Steven, is this because of my cookies? He could hear the remorse in her voice, and he hated to be the one responsible. He told her the whole ugly truth about her cookies, layering in so many apologies that it took twice as long as it should have. Steven, I'm so sorry. Even I thought they didn't look perfect when they were done, but I should have tasted one to make sure they were edible. I'm sorry, this is all my fa.. "Connie. Today's not a good day, but come over tomorrow. I have an idea.
They were standing in front of the oven, waiting for the oven to go off. They had followed the online recipe exactly, and even added an extra dash of cinnamon, because he knew she liked it. Finally, the timer went off, and Connie turned off the oven while Steven grabbed the tray with an oven mit. The snickerdoodles looked every bit as good as the photos, and the cinnamon-vanilla scent wafting up from it smelled divine. After waiting for four rounds on the console, they each grabbed not one, but two cookies, and delightedly crammed the first into their mouths. It was delicious. After swallowing, they grinned at each other. "You know what, Steven? I like cooking together with you the best."