Just something I have been thinking about for a while. This is my first story on this account... I had another account but have long since deleted the email to that account. Thus I have not been able to log in when I was ready to begin writing again. At the very least I now get a fresh start though I am sad to not finish some of the works I started years ago. I will not share which account it was as I would like to write a few things before I am tied to my previous work that I wrote as a 13 year old. Criticism is accepted and appreciated, as I only aim to get better.
I do not own any of the characters mentioned below. This is a modern AU of Teen Titans in high school. One shot.
"You weren't just a star to me. You were my whole damn sky" - Unknown
Xavier supposes that he should have known that Kori was not his to keep. After all, a star can only shine so long without a source of good to keep it bright. He was not the hero of this story, but he did not see himself as a villain either. He was nothing. Neither good nor bad. His only service was to lead Kori right into Richard's arms, where the hero could lift her off her feet and explore a world of happiness together. The only thing left for Xavier to explore was a world of hurt and longing.
He does not know when he realized that Richie boy was the only one who could fill the role of illuminating the star that is Kori Anders. Perhaps it was when he noticed Kori's eyes twinkle just a little more when Richard walked in a room. Or maybe when she laughed just a little harder at Richard's jokes than she ever did his. Or when she told him that she and Richard watched the sunrise together every morning. Perhaps he had known from the very beginning when he first asked her out and saw her look to Richard for guidance. This alone should have stopped Xavier from continuing his pursuit of the red head, but he was only encouraged when even upon seeing Richard's warning glance, Kori agreed to meet him at 9 to catch a movie. Richard's glare should have been enough to send any sane man into oblivion, but Xavier could only see angels shining above him as Kori smiled with a light blush adorning her face.
Things only progressed from there as as their meetings became more frequent and he eventually asked her to be his girlfriend. It was on a night when they were laying on a blanket surrounded by the stars. He told her the balls of light could never compare to her beauty and that this beauty was reflected inside as well as out. With his nerves projecting onto his face he asked for her to be his girlfriend. She giggled as she said yes and looked so happy that she appeared to be floating.
So the question floats to the surface. How could she seem so happy with Xavier and still end up with Richard? The answer is painfully obvious. She was never Xavier's, but always Richard's.
It is not that she did not love Xavier, it is that Xavier could not complete the heart that was much too big for such a skinny frame. She loved Xavier, but she was not in love with him. Xavier could then only face the unfortunate truth that one cannot love another into loving one back.
It is not that she did not try to love him, it is that she tried so hard that she forgot to live in the moment and let go. What else would have happened other than the care free relationship with Richard winning out in the end.
It is not that he did anything wrong, it is that people perceived him to be a shady character, and Kori was the only one to look past the rumors and see good in him. The good she saw, however, was not enough to make Xavier the hero. Richard still came out on top with his hero hair and more importantly, the girl to shape him into the best man he could be.
Kori had that effect on people. She brought out the best in everyone. She saw what no one else could see. For the first time in his life, Xavier had someone checking to make sure he passed his classes and ate at lunch. He had someone to worry when he was sick and make him absolutely horrifying soup that still somehow made him feel better after forcing it down his throat... and damn did that feel good. But he did not feel complete. He craved to have something she could not give him: her full and complete love. She could not give it to him because it was reserved for someone else. Someone she had known since childhood. Someone who so obviously was waiting for Xavier's and Kori's relationship to end.
The one thing that Xavier can appreciate about this someone is that he never made to sabotage the relationship. Sure, he would watch with disdain as Xavier wrapped his arms around Kori's waist. He would groan whenever the couple got too touchy around his space. But he never made a move because he realized his mistake in not making it years ago when he first realized he was in love with his best friend. Xavier hated Richard, but he appreciated the respect he had for Kori's relationship. They both knew how much it would hurt Kori if any one of their relationships ended in bad blood.
He knows she never meant to hurt him. If anything, she tried to do the opposite. She used sweet words with him and never got mad. Yet every single time she got mad at Richard or would play fight, he saw what he would never have. He saw a side of her that he did not get to see. A side that she only gave to Richard. Xavier never got yelled at because he was like a distant friend that one always acts pleasant with. Always a kind word because they were not close enough to manage conflict.
He remembers the day like it was yesterday. She could not look him in the eye as she stumbled around most of her words. The look of guilt only got deeper and deeper as she explained that she could not do this anymore. She loved him, but was in love with another. She mentioned that they both knew who it was and that they both had known for a very long time. She apologized for wasting a year of Xavier's life and regretted that she did not have the strength to break it off earlier. She hopes that they can still be friends and begins to walk away.
Before she gets out the door he asks if she is going to see Richard, saying his name with spite and pain as a tear pools in the corner of his eye. She informs him that she and Richard are not on speaking terms. She explains to him that she told Richard to make his own path in life that he actually wanted instead of following the path his father expected of him. Richard did not like that.
One foot is out the door when Xavier reaches forward and spins her around. He kisses her for what he knows is the last time and begs her to stay. He tells her he can deal with her not loving him the same way loves her. He promises her a life of being content. But even he knows how useless his words are. He may keep her content but Richard can give her the world. She tells him that he will thank her someday when he has another girl and feels the same as she does for Richard. Xavier knows that this is not true. He knows he cannot replace a star with some random light post he finds in the street.
He knows it is selfish, but he just wanted her to agree. To look at him with love and tell him she would never leave. He just wanted to be selfish, but every time he made to voice his desires again, he replayed Kori running out of the door. He puts his wishes away because this is not a star that he can depend on to fulfill them. It tears his heart to the point of insanity.
Xavier sees them around school sometimes. He talks to Kori often and realizes that she opens up to him more when they're friends than she ever did when they were in a relationship. He can see how she longs to talk to Richard and mend their friendship. He tells her to do just that and feels angered when she says that she cannot. If she broke up with him because of her love for another man than she better damn right have a good relationship with that man.
It is one of his trips to the bathrooms that he sees Richie boy leaning against a locker looking at a picture of Kori. Xavier walks up to hero hair and informs him that his best friend misses him and that he is an idiot if he is going to stay mad at her. He also mentions that maybe it is not a bad idea to do what he wants instead of what his father desires. Especially if it gives him a chance to experience happiness. As Xavier walks off he mutters about how at least one of them can be happy.
He notices that Richard has stopped glaring at him when they see each other. It may have to do with his follow your dreams speech. Or more likely, Richard realized Xavier and Kori were no longer dating. Ah yes, Kori. She was simply delighted when Richard came to her wanting to be friends again. That's right. Friends. Xavier wanted to punch a wall.
As time went on Kori and Richard found it harder to keep their feelings for one another at bay. Finally Kori asked Richard to go the an upcoming school dance as friends, since she was no longer going with Xavier. The morning of the dance Kori asked Xavier if he would still go. She told him he should try to have fun and maybe even meet someone. Even though he planned on staying home, he took one look at her puppy dog eyes and agreed to come.
It is a decision he regrets as he looks at Kori in a beautiful purple slit dress and Richard's mesmerized eyes trailing all over her body with a hand on her waist. Later that night he observes as Richard pulls out a necklace with a star charm and puts it around her neck. Kori was now Richard's star. He smiled for her as she won queen of the dance. Of course Richie boy was king. It only made sense with all the fairy tale effects of that night that it would be the time when Richard finally kissed Kori and they became a couple.
Xavier was not the hero of this story, but he was not the villain either. He did not do anything bad. If anything, he guided a star home. It pained him to let her go, yet he did because he just wanted his star to be happy. His role was not to be Kori's other half, but to take her into the arms of someone that was. It sucked. He wonders what he did that made him undeserving of a happy ending; he questions why he always gets nothing. He only wanted to get the girl and live happily ever after. But the endings of people labeled "shady character" like him are not happy. They do not get fairy tale lives.
Xavier was not the hero of this story, but he was not the villain either.
Please take the poll on my profile page. It has to do with whether or not I write a story in which Red X and Starfire will be a couple.