Breaking
by
xXx MissHaun†ed-MoonLigh† xXx
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Summary: With Gith's Darklighter poison coursing like wildfire through his veins, Chris knows he's breaking. Set during 'Fantasies of the Flesh'. OneShot.
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Disclaimer: I don't own Charmed. Never have, never will. I'd love to own Chris, though … (sighs wistfully)
However, two of the scenes are extended. Those bits are mine, 'cause they didn't actually happen in the show - it's just my interpretation of what could have happened if the cameras continued to roll ...
A/N: I'm suffering from Writer's Block, so this is a last-ditch attempt to cure it. Caught a re-run of the episode and was momentarily inspired. And this is what came up …
Sorry if it sucks, like I say, Writer's Block. (Shrugs)
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The arrow embeds itself into his stomach before he even knows what's happening.
His eyes widen in surprise, mind momentarily numbed as the hand he's raised slowly falls back to his side, the vanquishing potion sliding easily from his slackened grasp and rolling away across the cave floor.
And then the pain starts.
Falling sideways with a soft moan, he hits the floor hard and shudders, hearing Gith's taunting voice echo teasingly around his head as his heart pounds erratically beneath his chest.
The sound of smashing glass pierces his throbbing ears and he winces, his only plan shattering into a million pieces under Gith's demonic foot.
And yet through the intensely frequent spasms of pain that are coursing through his very being, he can only muster up the energy to think up one, single, completely random thought:
'Damn. I should have made more than one.'
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He's breaking.
He knows he's breaking. Lying here, mind a haze of pain and regret, body freezing to the touch and the tremors growing by the second, he knows he's breaking.
He wants it to end, wants the pain to stop. And not just physically, but emotionally, too. He's sick of the neglect, of the back-chat that the Sisters give him instead of just … just getting on with it. Don't they know by now that trying to act normal and letting their personal lives win over their Wiccan duties is going to end with nothing but death and destruction for everyone?!
'Or maybe they do know', he muses. 'Maybe they know perfectly well. And maybe they just don't care.'
He hesitates, thoughts sluggish and sweat glistening against his skin as he glances towards Gith, fingers gingerly pressing against the arrow wound before he pulls them back with a whimper of pain. Then he hears Piper's vaguely distorted voice echo out of Gith's seeing pool, and he immediately reprimands himself for thinking such a thing.
'No,' he tells himself firmly, suppressing another racking shudder, struggling to even out the breaths that are cutting into his lungs as he forces himself to draw in oxygen. 'No, they must care. Mom wouldn't want the world to go to Hell.'
He keeps telling himself that.
But through the pain, and through the memory of the blatant ignorance of the Sisters that morning - back when he was trying to convince them to take Gith's attack seriously - he finds it incredibly hard to believe.
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The world is fading at the edges, colours blurring into one another around him. Breathing is so painful it's becoming unbearable, and he's damp with sweat now, hair plastered to his head and his clothes sticking to the floor beneath him.
Dragging himself to the surface of his mind and pulling his pain-racked thoughts back under his control, he emerges to find that Gith's speaking again.
"An Empath! You didn't tell me the middle sister was an Empath!"
It takes him a great amount of energy just to listen. And even more so to muster up a response. But he does, murmuring a disinterested, "sorry," between pants, his voice scratchy and hoarse, his broken body seconds from packing in completely.
He can't hear anymore. Gith is still talking but he doesn't have a clue as to what the demon's saying now.
Instead, one final, desperate hope clawing its way to the forefront of his mind, he raises his hand and waves it weakly at the pool, sending out a telekinetic command before falling to the floor again. It's a long shot, he knows. He's uncertain as to whether or not his magic works with 'pocket realms'.
But he's willing to hazard a guess when a painful kick sends spasms of pain rocketing around his body that something must have happened. Something Gith doesn't want.
That can only be good news, right?
Not that he cares, anymore.
The pain's too much. He can't handle it, can't take the agony of his injuries and the feelings of his will, his faith in his family slowly breaking. He doesn't want to lose his mind to the memories, to give up and leave now, leave the future to repeat itself and let Hell take residence upon Earth. And he doesn't want to think his family don't care.
But he can't help it. They're not here to help when he needs them the most.
And his mind is already lost.
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He can hear voices.
Lots of voices. Lots of familiar voices.
And crying, too.
Which can only mean … Wyatt!
So if Wyatt is here, then the Sisters have to be here too. Which means ... it worked … he saved them ... they're safe ...
A golden light illuminates the back of his eyelids and he shivers involuntarily, drinking in its calming effects with mute delight as he's slowly pulled back to reality. Exhaustion prevents him from rising, stops him from jumping to his feet and orbing to safety in a vain attempt to avoid a confrontation with his 'family'.
Instead, all he can manage is a slurred, "thanks," before he falls limp and lets the comforting darkness at the edges of his mind consume him, wrapping him up protectively and hiding him from the world.
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Piper's staring at him.
He fiddles nervously with the Valkyrie pendant in his grasp and tries to meet her gaze, internally battling against a tornado of emotions while he outwardly struggles to keep his expression passive.
"Thanks for trying to warn us about the demon," she says sincerely. "We should have listened to you in the first place."
His heart knots and a small, nagging part of him wants to spill everything right there and then. There's just something about the way she's talking to him - not scowling, not yelling or sounding pissed off or frustrated, not questioning him about his real motives or going out of her way to ignore him completely. Just … just talking.
Talking and sounding like 'Mom'.
Waves of regret and sorrow eating away bit by bit at his soul, he tries to remind himself that this woman doesn't have motherly powers over him, and doesn't have the knack for uncovering even the most cleverly-guarded of secrets from her two teenage boys.
Yet even as he tells himself that, his will to lie and continue lying to Piper is breaking. How he dearly wishes to confess, to reveal the truth, to tell her all about the Future, all about Wyatt and all about the Hell that they were all going to walk right into if the Charmed Ones didn't jump onto his side and help him find the demon that turned Wyatt. How he wishes he could tell her the truth.
But he doesn't. Instead, he keeps to his rational side and responds as any Whitelighter would.
"Well, as long as you've learned something at the end of the day, that's all that matters, right?"
Piper smiles and nods.
"Right," she says.
And orbing away with a small but forced smile before the tears can fall, he knows he's just blown a perfect opportunity.
The longer he's in the Past, the more he can feel his strength of will slowly crumbling to dust around him. The more he sees Piper, sees Paige and Phoebe, sees Wyatt as the epitaph of moral goodness, innocent and untainted by the darkness that's apparently taken refuge inside his heart at some point during infancy, he can't help but admit to himself that he's breaking under the pressure.
And standing atop the Golden Gate Bridge, gazing out at the setting sun and letting the icy breeze whip the tears away from his eyes as he thinks back to the Future that is depending on him, he can only sigh and pray to whatever Gods are watching over him that he can fulfill his task and leave this place before it comes to that.
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Hmm, not sure what to think of this. It was an incredibly random and incredibly unexpected plot bunny. Still, it's been fed, now. So never mind.
And to those of you who don't know me, I love reviews …
Reviews are shiny.
And I love shiny things …
Hugsies!
xXx MissHaun†ed-MoonLigh† xXx