Author's Note: This is the first chapter. The song is Vanessa Carlton's Rinse. Therefore I don't own it. I don't own the characters either. Too bad………

Warning: Femmeslash, don't like, don't read.

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes

She must get rid of him. She's tailing him everywhere like a lost puppy. It's sad to see really.

The first year it was amusing, seeing how she'd try to get his attention. Now it's not amusing anymore. Because I realized that she mustn't be with him. He doesn't deserve it, she doesn't either.

She'd do anything for him, she does everything for him. She's longing for touches from him that he can't give her. She want, needs, him.

You can see it in her eyes when she's asking him out for diner, she's suffered enough. She belongs with me, with someone who feels for her what he can't. Someone who's not scared.

He hides his feelings, he hurts her so she won't try again. But she does, she's in for the hurting if that increases the chance of for once not being rejected.

she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

The hopes of getting a chance are too attracting for her. She'll deal with rejection later, but for now she keeps trying.

how she'd be soothed, how she'd be saved if he could see
she needs to be held in his arms to be free
but everything happens for reasons that she will never understand
'til she knows the heart of a woman will never be found in the arms of a man

And I'm here to watch and pick up the pieces. She can't see me, she's blinded. But when she can see straight again I will come for her. Save her. I'll be her knight. Why can't she see that she must rinse him? She needs to get him out of her system as soon as possible. It's not an obsession yet, but it can be when she goes on like this. She'll kill herself. And that would mean that I have to live without her.

Because just like she's waiting for him, I'm waiting for her to see me. It's a vicious circle. I dreamt of her for years now. I want her to be mine and mine alone. I've followed her home numerous times just to see if she went home alone. She did, and I'd be sitting in my car for ages, just trying to understand why she could feel something for an old man, and not feel something for a woman who was there for her.

I stopped following her when I realized that she wasn't about to get into a serious relationship. She couldn't even last with that cheating bastard Hank. No, it wasn't her fault that he cheated, but still, she could've gotten a hell of a lot better than him.

and if she runs away she feel the fears she follows
what could be worse than leaving some be count
and if the dead poison smell to in shadow
it's only me to find
if only she was my love

Yes you can call me bitter, but it is just the truth. If she could see what was right in front of her she'd be with me in a matter of seconds. She can't get him out of her head, so I must help her. I'd do anything to see that spark in her eyes again. When she looks at him her eyes go sad. She's fought with him, tried to compromise, but he still said 'no'. She tried to get him to be her friend, not just her mentor and co-worker. She fought with him, warning it might be too late when he noticed her. It didn't make a difference. He still refused to go out with her.

She's been better lately, she looks better, healthier. But still he doesn't notice. She'd come in at night, wearing something new, looking at him and daring him to make a compliment. He'd just give her assignments that Greg could've done just as easy. She said she thought he was just protecting her, but those thoughts went up in smoke after the accident in the mental institution. She was broken after that, pretending to be tough but everyone could see her tears. Her brown eyes don't sparkle anymore when she's talking about him. They only sparkle when she's dancing. Clubbing with the team makes her feel better, but when he's there, sitting in a booth with Brass and the other detectives, he's just imitating a statue and she's to self-conscious to move. She just won't dance when he's there. And even when they have to work together he confuses her. One day he's distancing himself like she's not there, and the other day he's all over her.

she'd do anything to sparkle in his eye
she would suffer, she would fight, and compromise
she's been wishin' on the stars that shine so bright
for answers to the questions that will haunt her tonight

Mixed signals can happen but she's getting enough of it, I can see it. I am always in her sight, ready to catch her when she fall, but she never does. I am always there for her, and yet I don't get the slightest thank you.

What did I do wrong? I know she's into women, she told me that once. I am a woman as far as I know, and I know I am good-looking. Not that I am arrogant, but I know I look good for my age. She knows that too, but why isn't she attracted to me? We have similar sides, but also opinions that are total opposite of what the other thinks. She's beautiful and smart, and her demons are something I'm willing to take for granted if she'd be with me. But no, she isn't with me. She's following him. Just because she thinks she loves him and that he loves her.

He doesn't. She doesn't.

she must rinse this all away
she can't hold him this way
she must rinse this all away
she can't love him this way

She'd do anything to sparkle in his eyes………

Thanks for reading. I will update soon if you like this.