Alright everybody, as promised I am going to write a happy ending to Charles Dance. But this is just my warmup to the actual story.
You see, in order to write a happy ending to Charles Dance, I'm going to have to actually write a story that is a few chapters long. Because of the situation at the end of that movie, there's no way I'm going to be able to pick it up from there, and have it end well. I'll have to take the story back, and then rewrite like the whole second half of the movie. Which will be a loooong and dedicated process.
But I feel bad making you all wait for me to get modivated on that, so since I'm in a weird kinda funny mood (I think I'm hallucinating a bit due to my sinus headache). I thought I'd give you all this! ENJOY?
P.S. PLEASE review if you want the actual Charles Dance happy ending story! Cause I won't write it if I don't have a bunch of people who want it! Also you can comment on the randomness of this story too. And by odd randomness, I mean REALLY ODD RANDOMNESS!
Gerard was going to tell Christine about Erik's past? She help her breath, waiting for him to tell her everything. But suddenly, his foot began tapping, and blue lights began flashing to the beat of his foot tapping. He began to speak, but it wasn't speaking, he was singing! Was he singing? What was this?
"Yo listen up! Here's a story! About a little guy who lives in a blue world! And all day and all night and everything he sees is just blue! Like him, inside and outside". Christine raised an eyebrow as he continued, now he was pointing around the room, swinging his hips in a most odd fashion "Blue his house with a blue little window! And a blue corvette...".
Christine tried to cut him off "What's a corvette?" but he just kept on going "And everything is blue for him and himself, and everybody around. Cause he ain't got! Nobody, to listen!". Just when Christine thought things couldn't get any worse, Erik burst through the front door, wearing a bright blue shirt, a sparkly blue vest, and a weird matching blue sparkly hat.
"I'm blue da ba de da ba die. Da be de da be die, da be de da be die!" Christine screamed and ran across the room, as Gerard and Erik began head banging "Da be de da be die, da be de da be die, Da be de da be die, da be de da be die!". Christine ran up to Erik, pulling on his arm "Erik pleeeeaaaase!" she begged, "Erik stop this! What's wrong with you? Are you sick?" she asked concerned.
Her pleading didn't work, he just kept singing "I'm blue da ba de da ba die. Da be de da be die, da be de da be die. Da be de da be die, da be de da be die, Da be de da be die, da be de da be die!". "Erik if you love me!" she pleaded, but he pushed her aside and began break dancing on the floor, which Christine thought was horrifying.
"I have a blue house with a blue window!" "Yes Erik I know you do!" Christine replied, hoping he'd stop this madness soon. "Blue is the color of all that I wear!" "Erik I've never seen you wear blue not once besides today!" she cried out, beginning to stop on the floor in her confusion.
Erik kept rockin out "Blue are the streets and all the trees are too! I have a girlfriend, and she is so blue!". Christine screamed, "I'M NOT YOUR GIRLFRIEND!". He still wasn't listening as he continued "Blue are the people here that walk around! Blue like my corvette, is standing outside!". Christine stood up, grabbing onto Erik's arm again "WHAT IS A CORVETTE?" she screeched angrily, once again she was merely tossed aside as he continued singing and dancing.
"Blue are the words I say and what I think! Blue are the feelings that live inside me!". By now Christine had absolutely had enough, and as Gerard and Erik continued to sing "I'm blue da be de da be die" she slipped out the front door and to the boat. Frantically she grabbed the oar and began to paddle for her life.
At the shore she ran, as fast as she could, she could still hear the outragously loud music pumping from Erik's house as she ran into the safety of the opera house. "Phillipe?" she called, tears streaming down her face "Carlotta?" she called, yes, even Carlotta would have been a comfort to see.
She ran towards the backstage, and was relieved to find Carlotta standing on the stage rehearsing an opera. She sighed, finding a seat to calm herself. They were just about to start the next scene, and Carlotta was lying in a bed. Suddenly odd music began playing, similar to the music that was playing in Erik's house.
Carlotta suddenly sat up and began singing, and Christine nearly fainted out of her seat "7 am waking up in the morning, gotta be fresh gotta go downstairs. Gotta have my bowl, gotta have cereal. Seein' everything, the time is going". The scene changes were beginning to give Christine whiplash and she watched in horror as the song continued.
"Tickin' on and on, everybody's rushin, Gotta get down to the bus stop. Gotta catch my bus, I see my friends!" Christine had to bite her tongue not to scream out 'WHAT IS A BUS?'. "Kickin in the front seat! Sittin in the backseat! Gotta make my mind up which seat can I take?" there was only one seat for Carlotta to even chose from? Christine felt tears of confusion streaming down her face at the stupidity of it all.
And then it happened, the worst thing Christine had heard all day, worse than Erik's song could have dreamed of being "IT'S FRIDAY FRIDAY GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY! EVERYBODY'S LOOKIN FORWARD TO THE WEEKEND WEEKEND" before she could even finished Christine shrieked and ran for her life, straight out of the opera house and to the cafe where she hoped she'd find Phillipe.
To her surprise, upon entering, Phillipe was standing on stage with a guitar on the stage, and a group of small 13 year old girls screaming at his feet "Hey Christine! Come over here! Yea! See her everybody! I'm dedicating this song to her!" he called. Half the girls screamed excitedly, half of them glared at her with jealous rage in their eyes.
Phillipe began singing, and Christine sighed, at least it didn't have that odd beat that was beginning to give her a headache. She sat down at one of the tables and smiled "Oh Woaaahhh. Oh Wooooaaah" he'd hardly begun and all the girls were screaming his name obsessively, trying to grab at him on the stage.
"Oh Woooooaaaaaaahhhhh" he continued, Christine couldn't help but raise an eyebrow, what the heck kind of lyrics were these? Suddenly to her horror the strange beat started up, and he kept singing "I know you love me! I know you care! You shout whenever, and I'll be there!" Christine couldn't help but smile, these words were so sweet.
He continued "You are my love, you are my heart, And we would never, ever, ever be apart. Are we an item? Girl quit playin'?" now his lyrics were beginning to confuse her. An item? What did that mean? Was it along the same lines as Corvette and Bus? "We're just friends, what are you sayin'?" she gasped, just friends?
She stood up, her face beginning to burn with rage "Take another look right in my eyes!" she turned and looked at him as he continued. "My first love, broke my heart for the first time. And now I'm like BABY BABY BABY OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH I'm like BABY BABY BABY NOOOOOooooo" at this she turned and stormed out of the cafe, the screaming girls made it so she couldn't hear Phillipe calling "WAIT CHRISTINE COME BACK!".
Once out of the street she went to the river, where a man with long blonde hair was sitting by the sewer entrance stuffing rats down his pants. Without a second thought Christine jumped in the river, drowning herself. Something strange had happened to the world, and under NO circumstances would she be a part of it. Whether it was the strange music, or the man she'd just seen with the rats, she couldn't stand another minute of it.
At Christine's funeral, everyone stood around in mourning clothes. Erik was sobbing hystarically, Carlotta and the 13 year old Phillipe phangirls just smirked at the casket like 'good ridance', while Phillipe bowed his head and tried to hide his tears, not because Christine was dead, but because she walked out on his song.
Suddenly, Gerard ran and stood on top of the closed Casket "LOOK! ANOTHER SONG FROM THE FUTURE!" he said excitedly. Suddenly a beat started pumping from seemingly nowhere and everyone began dancing. "Party Rock!" Gerard said, letting it echo across the cemetery.
Phillipe looked up, smiling big, he jumped on top of the casket with Gerard "Yeah!" all the phangirls started screaming "Woo!" Phillipe randomly said. "Let's go! Party rock is in the house tonight! Everybody just have a good time! And we gon' make you lose your mind! Everybody just have a good time!".
Erik shoved Phillipe off the casket and began singing in his place "Party rock is in the house tonight! Everybody just have a good time! And we gon' make you lose your mind! We just wanna see ya..." he was cut off by Carlotta "SHAKE THAT!". Everybody began dancing, Erik and Gerard both leaping off the casket and crowd surfing. At the sound of the crazy beat nearly the whole city of Paris had shown up in the cemetery to rock out.
"In the club party rock! Look a pretty girl she on my jock" one random parisian said. Another one continued "Non stop when we're in the spot! Booty movin weight like she on the block". More random parisians began singing "With a drink I gots' to know. Tight jeans, tattoos, cause I'm rock n' roll. Half black, half white, domino. Gain the money out the door".
Erik began break dancing on Christine's casket before standin up and and singing "YOO! I'm runnin through these hoes like drano, I got devilish flow rock n roll, no halo! WE PARTY ROCK! Yea that's the crew that I'm reppin' on the rise to the top, no led in our zeppelin".
Phillipe took his turn on the casket fist pumping "Party rock is in the house tonight! Everybody just have a good time! And we gon' make you lose your mind! Everybody just have a good time!" Erik got up and joined him "Party rock is in the house tonight! Everybody just have a good time! And we gon' make you lose your mind! We just wanna see you!" Carlotta screeched as they jumped back into the crowd "SHAKE THAT!".
Suddenly the lid of the casket shot off and Christine stood there, wearing next to nothing, she raised her hands in the air "EVERYDAY I'M SHUFFLING!" she called before leaping into the crowd and leading everyone into the craziest dance in parisian history.
Now I'm not going to bothering telling the rest, because I think you can imagine what happened after this. But in case you don't, well here's a hint, presumably they all lived HAPPILY EVER AFTER! The end