Edit: Thanks to everyone who left reviews on here, it means so much to me! But it rose a very serious question- will I, AQA473, do a Max/Chloe fanfic? The answer? No. Never. I don't ship it. I think I may have shipped it when the first trailer came out, but I was more excited for possible gayness than the brown hair(max)/blue hair(chloe) pairing. So stop asking. I ship Chloe/Rachel and Max/Victoria (which I'm calling vicxine spread the word) so I will more than likely do fics for those, but I do not ship Max/Chloe so stop asking me to do one and don't sound disappointed that this isn't that. I really like Dana and Juliet so that's who I wrote about. Second chapter coming out soon. Go to ArchiveOfOurOwn for I believe at least one Max/Chloe fic. I think it's masturbation. I thought it was a little fantasy heavy but it was decent. Otherwise, realize that there are other pairing besides your own and not to shame me because I didn't write your otp. I totally support you guys, but I'm not writing one and I'm sorry not sorry that the first LiS fic on is not that pairing. Thank you for reading. Really sorry for the rant for those this doesn't concern. I love you all but damn.
Even now, it all seems like a dream, strands of thoughts and fantasies woven together in the tapestry of my imagination. Then I look beside me and see that dream in reality. It wasn't a dream. One mistake brought me here. Life is strange like that.
The air bites my skin. I should've brought my coat. I just imagined placing it on the back of my chair, or the fact that the coat totally doesn't go with my dress and heels. Probably get caught on my earrings, too. But now who looks silly standing out in the cold with a dress on, clenching her arms?
It doesn't take long for my company to appear around the corner. Even at this distance, I can make out that scorned look on her face. I hope she hasn't been wearing it since this afternoon. Her hair's down. I don't see it down anymore. Dark brown stands straddle her neck to the side and trail down to her chest. Which is on display to the world. Nice going, Dana.
She's wearing a V-neck, not the same one as today, has a garish designer logo on it, and her bra's showing under it. Same one from today. She's got a skirt, though. Cute one, too. Stops just above her knees. Red leggings with pink stripes wind down her legs, ending in- oh my god. The heels I bought for her birthday last month. She said she'd "never find a use for something as 'Hey, look at me!' as these." I covertly cover my grin with a cough.
"Hm. You got dressed up." She's standing beside me, looking me up and down. I'll admit I got a little carried away. It was meant to be casual, but I feel awful about today so no expenses spared. I have pink lipstick and these awful hoop earrings. I never wear the damn things but, since I was going with a dress and heel combo, I thought "why the fuck not?" The dress is a short, form-fitting number without straps. I'm rapidly regretting that choice. It's a deep magenta, followed by long, pale leg ending in my dark heels. I prefer my boots, but, you know. Tonight. My hairstyle's my usual bun. Dana once said it looked really good on me. I've hardly strayed since. The rest isn't the comfiest get-up, but it looks like Dana's impressed, so I think it did its job. Almost pulled a smirk from her scornful scowl.
Dana's attention turns to the sign of the restaurant and I can't help but feel a little jealous of that damn sign. "I'm actually surprised you came here. I would've figured you would bring me to that run-down burger place."
I scoff. "Please, Dana. I have some self-respect." I giggle, but she doesn't join me. I stop, covering me mouth. Great, now I look like an imbecile. Of course she's not going to be all buddy-buddy so fast. I fucked up hardcore. Baby steps, Julie.
"Whatever. Let's get inside before my make-up freezes." She gestures at the door. "Well? Go in." I do as she orders, entering the thankfully warm establishment before us. I'm walking on thin ice as it is.
The restaurant I chose for our dinner is some Italian place that opened a few months ago. I haven't had the time to go yet, but it had a good rating on Urbanspoon. Certainly better than option B. I hold the door for Dana and she flashes a bewildered look. I turn away, cursing under my breath. I'm taking her out for an apology dinner. What they hell am I doing, acting like this is some date? Get over yourself!
It's pretty quiet in here. Only a couple groups eating around in the booths and table. The reduced staff seems busy, though. I thought there'd be more people. Maybe their dessert sucks. One more failure for me.
"Good evening, ladies! Can I get you a table?" The attendant is some young boy. Any other day, and I'd think he was cute. Right now, though, all I can think about is not dropping the ball again.
"Y-yes, please. Um, booth?" Dana doesn't respond. She's looking out a window. "Yeah, a booth." The boy smiles, probably the smile he slaps on every time he throws on that black apron, grabs two menus, and beckons to us. We follow him down lines of tables. Must get busy in here during the weekend. I would've waited till then but I just couldn't. This couldn't wait.
"My name's Jason and here're your menus, but don't get too used to me. I am a busy man, after all." I can't tell if he's charming, overbearing, or can somehow sense the honey-thick tension between Dana and I. "Can I get you girls any drinks to start off?" We hurriedly order a Pepsi and a Dr. Pepper. I look at her. She never gets Dr. P. I don't say anything as 'Jason' leaves.
Dana pulls her bag off, setting it beside her. The strap tugs down the shoulder of her shirt and my eyes bolt straight to the exposed skin and bra strap. I plant my face on the table.
"Jesus, Juliet. Just 'cause you effed up today doesn't mean you can just go acting like an idiot."
"I'm snorry," I mumble, my nose pressed into the table. Firm hands push me up.
"You brought me here. Stop acting like a child." Her arms cross. She won't look at me. I reach forward. "What?" She says, staring at my hand like it'll electrocute her. I wince. I really hurt her.
"Your shirt fell down." She looks to her shoulder. Sighing she pulls it back up. My hand retreats like it was the one given an electric shock.
"Just say it. Don't be a friggin' creeper."
Neither of us say a thing for a while. She leafs through her menu, I watch her do it. I'll just order the special. I'm not here for food. I need to say something, anything. She's my best fucking friend. We grew up together, here in this shithole of a town. We screamed like ten-year olds when we got to attend Blackwell together. Why does that feel like so long ago?
"How did things go with Zach?" Her gaze remains glued to the menu. She flips a page, eyes skimming the lines. She beat me to it, apparently.
"We're done. I don't know why I didn't see him for the dumbass that he is sooner." Dana looks at me. I can almost see sympathy in her eyes. "I'm a dumbass, too. I can't believe I would get that anal over a jerk like him. Though, I guess we both got played by boys. I mean, after all that stuff with-" I try to stop myself, but she already knows what I'm talking about.
"Don't." Her voice goes deep, almost a growl. Her arms uncross, fingers pinching the table edge. My skin crawls under her glare.
"S-sorry." It's hard to look her in the eye.
"Ugh. You've been saying sorry all day!"
"'Cause I've been fucking up all day! One mistake after the next, I swear to God!" I quickly cross the Holy Trinity over my chest. Sorry, Lord. Shit, there I go again. At least Dana can't read my thoughts. Silver linings.
"Maybe you'll learn something." She sighs back into the booth, her body bouncing on the cushion. I press my hands against my face.
"Yeah. Maybe. Maybe something will sink into my dumb head and I'll stop messing everything up."
Dana inhales, like she's about to talk, then two glasses fall onto our table.
"Pepsi and a Dr. Pepper. And I'm May. Are you two ready to order?" That's not Jason. I glance around to see him returned to the front. Guess he wasn't lying. Or he just wanted to get away. This girl's easy on the eyes, though. Her wavy black hair's tied in a loose ponytail, kinda like Dana's when she puts it up.
"I'll have your special," I say. She nods, turning to Dana.
"Um, I'll have the same." I stare at her. She shrugs. Wasn't she just totally engrossed with the menu? Was she thinking about something else?
"Right away." I watch as May leaves. Her shirt's ridden up her back. There's a tattoo right above her butt that I can't make out.
"Oh my God, are checking out the waitress?"
"What?" I twist to face her. Twisted around… Jesus, was I just checking her out? I pull my hands into my lap, smoothing out my dress.
"Wow, Julie. I get Zachary was an asshole, but it doesn't mean you have to sign off guys forever."
"I'm not! I'm just spacing out, okay!?" I cross my arms, falling into the booth. "Another mistake, right?"
"Well, not really, actually." I raise an eyebrow. "What happened between you and Zach?" I groan.
"Didn't I just tell you? I dumped him. I'm done with his shit and he's dumb as a rock. Abs of Adonis but the brains of a squirrel on Viagra." I think I hear a giggle from the other side of the table. "He got pissed, for sure, but I don't care. I'm just so tired and I'm sooo done with his shit. It's only October and I'm ready for this semester to end. Go home for Christmas, at least. I thought this drama would end once we got here. And I only added to it." I snatch my Pepsi from the table. The carbonation pops down my throat. My mouth's way drier than I thought, Holy shit. I need to breathe.
"You're doing fine right now." Dana's taking a sip, too. I smile. It hurts my cheeks.
"Sitting here. It's nice, like old times. Remember in middle school when we went down to the beach with the Jerickson's sons?" She almost coughs up. She's hiding a smile.
"And Tommy ate shit in the sand when he tried chasing down their dog?" We both laugh. I can still see it, a little chunky boy nose-diving the shoreline like he was trying to slide on it. The dog's leash snapped out of his hand.
"He was spitting sand for days!" It takes a couple seconds for us to calm down. We're still smiling once we do.
"Where did all that go, Julie?" Our drinks are going flat. Whatever. They're not that expensive, anyway.
"We're busy, Dana. We've… grown up."
"Have we? You locked me in my room for 'allegedly' talking dirty to your blockhead boyfriend. Is that 'grown up?'" The hairs on the back of my neck stand under her words. She's right. I'm so sick of fucking things up. Sometimes, I wish we were still kids, just the two of us, playing in the snow and the sand.
"No." I sigh. "I have no excuse. It feels like the world's turning upside down. I wish it'd all go back to bottle caps and magazines, doing each other's nails and watching reruns of That '70's Show." I catch a smirk cross her lips at the mention of our favorite pass times.
"I mean, I guess it isn't all you. I was with a jerk, too. And cheerleading, all this studying, going to the Vortex Club. Feels like I'm just keeping up appearances for popularity's sake. I don't have fun."
"Well, I won't pretend I don't enjoy the school's paper."
"No, no. That's not what I mean. I mean every day. I like cheerleading. But all these kids, the teachers, the stupid principal, all those big-heads in the Vortex Club. We never leave the damn school. Doing work is like taking a vacation. What was your first thought when bitch-ass Victoria told you those lies?" She's stirring her drink like it'll tell her a fortune if she stirs hard enough without spilling, but she's watching me. With those stupid green eyes of hers. And when Vic-bitch told me? I don't know, why you hadn't texted me today, why you'd rather hit on my boyfriend than-
"'Slut'. I guess. I don't know, I was pissed. I flipped out over nothing. I told you already."
"That's exactly it. It was totally irrational. What a dumb, silly thing to do. And it seemed perfectly fine to you at the time to shut your best friend in her own room. Seriously, it's Blackwell, it's this life. I'm tired, too." I'm surprised she's taking my mistakes so well. It sounds like she wants the two of us to leave Arcadia or something. I reach forward, grabbing her hands without thinking.
"Then let's just stick together. No boys. For now. Just… relax. We can't leave, as much as I want to tell everyone to just piss off, teachers included." When she looks down, I pull back my hands. Heat rushes to my cheeks. "We can make it through Blackwell, together. The two pretty-in-pink princesses."
"I don't have that castle anymore, in case you wanted to use that," she says with a grin. I'll be your castle.
Food arrives, shutting down whatever I was going to say. The special's some kind of Italian something. I'm more concerned about Dana.
Okay, the tattoo says Follow the Wind. What a weird tattoo to have above your butt.
"There you go, again! Are you batting for the other team, now?" I twist around again.
"I really don't know right now. I thought I was just looking at her tattoo."
"I didn't even notice she had one. You, on the other hand, Miss Creeper, checking out her ass, would see that. Are you really okay?"
"I thought we just established we're both fucked right now." She giggles. I miss that sound. Sometimes, if she laughs hard enough, she snorts. And not that obnoxious loud snorting, like little pig oinks. She doesn't even notice when she does it, either.
"Yeah, okay, I'll give you that. Not many pretty people at Blackwell, anyway."
"There's you." The words fly out of my mouth before my brain realizes what I'm saying. They travel through the air like planes on a crash-course into a cliff. "I-I mean, um, we're both good-looking." Shit. She wasn't talking about that, you stupid piece of garbage. She meant pretty like sexy. You're trash, you useless idiot.
"No one's got anything on us? I'll agree on that." She smiles, elbow on the table, as she places a fork of food on her tongue. Oh, God help me. It's a little hot in here. Suddenly, the outside doesn't sound so bad.
"And sure. Maybe I was checking out the waitress. She's nice looking. Not like us, though."
"I'll give you that." Her smile's contagious. I'm reminded of the times we teased boys in elementary school. We made them believe we'd kiss one of them and make them do stuff for us. But we really didn't care about that. We had fun playing with them and braiding each other's hair. Who needs boys when you have someone that cares about you and laughs with you and asks to go to the bathroom to give you a shoulder to cry on in the hallway? My fingers reach for the necklace around my collar. "I'm surprised you still have that thing, Julie." She's sucking down her flat Dr. P through the straw. I watch as her throat bobs.
"I'd never get rid of it." I flatten the necklace on my dress. "It looks nice. And we made these stupid things together. Too bad yours got torn up by the cat at Clemen's place."
"Want to see a movie? This weekend? Not one of those weird thing's on Warren's drive, but a real movie. Forget about all this drama." I think her food's getting cold.
"I gotta do your laundry first, remember?" We share a laugh. For a split second, I forget about the test next Tuesday, about Victoria's bullying and Zach's… Zachness. About all the gossiping at our tiny school in our tiny town. It's just me and the one person who understands me, even after I betrayed her trust. It's just us.
We eat our cooling food in silence, never saying a word. I try really hard this time not to watch May again as she walks away after bringing us refills. Dana just smiles at me, and I smile back. I think we're both remembering the past. We really were happy back then, even though school's always been a bitch, it's always been the other first. I got Dana's back and she's got mine, forever. I won't make today's mistake again, I swear it.
"Juliet." It isn't a question. Our plates are empty, the bill's paid, and we're just waiting for my check. I still paid for dinner. Was kinda hoping that all these good feeling would get her to go halfsies. I deserve it, I guess. I mean, I really, really fucked up. If nothing else, this is a gesture of good-will.
"Yeah?" I ask like she's about to inquire on the weather. She's looking at her lap. Both our purses are up and we're ready to leave. Or, at least we look like we are.
"About my pregnancy…" Oh no, I wasn't expecting her to bring this up. She told me almost as soon as she got the pregnancy test back. I told her she could do whatever she felt was right, even after that asshole left her, little non-committing bastard. I went with her to get parenting guides and to look for another job. I held her when she cried after she got the abortion.
"We don't need to talk about it, Dana. Really. We're on the same page. And you know I'll take it to my grave."
"No, not that. I just want you to know it's ok. It's in the past. Just like today. No more melancholy and the infinite sadness bullshit. We need to move on, alright?" She reaches her hand forward. Well, doofus? Your best friend in the whole wide world is holding her hand out to you. Take it, you dunce. I take it and she squeezes. I squeeze back.
"And fuck everyone else," I say. She grins at me.
"Of course."
We're back outside. Is it warmer? I mean, my teeth are still chattering, but I don't need to grab my arms anymore.
"Back to the dorm, then." Dana sounds sad. I grab her hand. She smiles at me.
We meet back at the Blackwell parking lot in our separate cars. It's just getting colder and fucking colder. I rub my hands together as I wait for her at the steps leading up to the courtyard. She's wearing long gloves that reach her elbows and a think overcoat matching her skirt. Man, why didn't I think of that? Not to mention she looks stunning.
"Cold?" She jests. I stick my tongue out at her. "Watch where you point that thing. Might get caught in something you don't want it to." Is she flirting with me?
We make our way through the empty courtyard in silence. There's usually people hanging out here at this time, but the cold's scared everyone indoors. And there's those damn MPPs. Rachel Amber was cool, I guess. But aren't there other missing people in the city? It isn't all about you, ya know. But, maybe it's because someone really misses her. What would I do if Dana suddenly disappeared? If she just… vanished?
"Hey, Julie, what's up?" Dana asks.
"What?"
"You're really quiet." She stops and looks at me, her fact shriveled in concern. She's so beautiful in the moonlight. The two of us used to go out in summer nights as kids to put make-up on each other since it looked different under the full moon. We looked like ass in the light, but it sure was pretty in that silver shine.
"It's just these damn posters all over. Whoever's putting them up needs to stop. Like, seriously? We get it. People go missing every day and it sucks but what's the point of shoving it down our throats?"
"Well, think about it. What would you do if I went missing?" My breath hitches in my throat. Really, Dana? "Nothing, huh? Probably just go into my room and grab my laptop." She says it with a grin, but I'm not laughing.
"Don't even joke, Dana. I don't know what I'd do. You're my best friend." I grab my arms, but not because of the cold. She isn't grinning anymore. "I'd miss you. A lot. And… maybe I would cover the town in posters. Or ditch school to look for you. Or hire a PI, I don't know. Just… don't joke about that, ok? I fucked up today. I really, royally screwed up, but that doesn't mean you don't mean the world to me." She reaches for me.
"Juliet, I didn't-"
"Let's just get inside, ok? It's frickin' freezing out here." I shove past her. Her footsteps follow me, but I don't turn around. Why did she think that'd be okay? Well, alright, I guess I deserved that after today. Remind me what I could've lost. I'm such a fool.
Neither one of us says a word. We're outside the girls' dorms, home sweet home. Usually I wouldn't be able to wait to get into more comfortable clothes or under my covers, pull up my laptop and tab through Instagram, but only one thing's on my mind right now.
We walk up the steps together, the scaffolds looming above us with wet paint signs hanging off their beams. There's still a splotch of white where Victoria got smashed with the shit. Kinda wish Max had gotten a pic of that. Would've loved to have rubbed that in her face in the school paper, especially after the shit she pulled on me and Dana. Fuck her, man.
"Finally, warmth!" I run a few feet past the door, my arms raised. "Woo! October's so fucking cold. Maybe we should move somewhere where it's warm all year." Dana walks up next to me.
"We?" She gives me this look, like I shouldn't have said that. Suddenly, I'm starting to feel like I shouldn't have. Or maybe that I should say a little more. Maybe…
I've been saying maybe all fucking night. Maybe this, probably that; can't I make up my damn mind? Fine, whatever, if I'm gonna make up my mind about anything it's gonna be this, right here, right now.
"Yes, Dana, we. You're my BFF Jill, the Sherlock to my Watson, my fifteen percent or more on car insurance. We're the two princess at the top of the castle and I'm done waiting for a prince I don't even want." Her expressions change and shift, from surprise to thought. She glances away. I wish I could read minds, or be a ninja like Max. Then nothing would ever go wrong.
"Wait, so, hold on a second. What are you saying?" I sigh at her words.
"Us, Dana. I want- Jesus. I want-" Her mouth collapses on mine before I can say the words. Her lips are soft. She has that honey lipstick I bought her a couple weeks ago. My heart flutters in my chest and flies out my throat. I can't do anything but kiss back. My hands latch onto her arms, pulling her closer. She pulls back quickly, leaving us both panting for air. I wonder if she's as stunned by her actions as I am. She smiles at me. We both erupt into giggles, holding onto each other for support. It's like we're kids again, making fun of silly boys on the playground.
I stop as soon as I see someone's head poking out down the hallway. I guess I was a little loud. It looks like Victoria. Always looking for gossip. You know what? I'm done caring.
"Dana, us?" I say as she calms down a bit. We stand, removing our arms from each other.
"Yeah. BGFFs." Her smile radiates through my eyes and into me in a way I'm sure I'll never comprehend. That smile I've never seen before just tells me I should have done this way, way sooner.
I wrap my arm around her shoulder and face the two of us towards Victoria. Dana's about to protest until I flip the bird down the hallway.
"Put this on facebook, bitch!" I yell as I plant a kiss with my pink lipstick on Dana's cheek. She giggles and flashes her middle finger at Victoria, too. The school bully disappears into a room with a huff. I don't think she even took a picture. But I don't give a damn.
"Sleepover?" Dana asks. Her face is so close I can see the pores on her skin. She's sweating. I don't blame her, but it'll make her break out if she doesn't take care of that. I grin.
"I thought you'd never ask." I guess I did one thing right today.