At first, Umi wondered if they were moving at too quick a pace. There was never a set time frame for these types of things, Honoka and Kotori always made sure she knew that. But, going from childhood friends to roommates, and eventually becoming some odd combination of love they called a healthy relationship seemed so strange. Umi would be the first to admit that she didn't have a single clue when it came to real-world romance, but what exactly the three had, she had a much harder time pinning down. An odd thought that she couldn't escape, often wondering if Honoka and Kotori ever thought the same.
It was never a doubt of what they had together. Umi loved Kotori and Honoka more than she could ever come to articulate. That was never the question. Just the odd thought about how they could be so lucky, and what allowed them to live such a blissful life together. She could hear them now, calling her a big sap. Maybe she was.
The tv droned on with some new romance that Honoka and Kotori had gotten wrapped up in. Umi sat comfortably warm in the middle of their sofa, a single blanket large enough for the three of them allowed her to relish in the intimate contact with her two friends.
No. Girlfriends. Umi still had to correct herself at times. A lifetime of friendship would do that to a person.
Uninterested in the show, Umi stole a quick glance toward Honoka. Their faces only a few inches apart, and the first thing Umi could make out, like always, was that exuberant smile. Even in the heat of some drama filled scene, Honoka looked on like she was filled pure joy. None of that was anything new to Umi's eyes. Honoka always smiled, and when Umi was able to get caught up in that smile like she was, it reminded her of that first moment of realization.
It was one of Honoka's smiles that was just for her that made Umi's heart speed up a hair more than usual. That moment a handful of years ago that sparked a desire she didn't know she had. A love that Umi had been so sure would never come to fruition. It was one of the very few times that she would say she was wrong with so much pride. Being able to see that smile so intimately every single day was a blessing that Umi was so thankful for.
"Are you alright, Umi?" Honoka turned her head and whispered.
Umi tensed and eyes shot back toward the screen. A blush on her cheeks so bright it could be picked out in the glow of the tv. "Everything's fine."
Honoka stared for a moment longer but didn't press. Instead, pressing her weight further into Umi. "If you say so, but you should really be watching the show. This part is super intense."
Umi couldn't focus on anything but her warm cheeks and thudding heart. Embarrassment so strong she felt like a high-schooler again. A gentle hand on her back kept her from slipping too far into that embarrassment. She knew from the touch and gentle knowingness that it was Kotori's. Gentle fingers rubbed up and down in a specific motion only known after years together. A calm that she was sure could never be rivaled.
If Honoka was the brightness that pulled Umi's feelings out than Kotori was the reassurance that things could turn out alright. That moment in their third year where Umi accidentally spilled her newfound love of Honoka, and it was met with nothing but a smile and encouragement. A moment that could never be forgotten, and so vivid it could be recalled without the slightest hint of hesitation. The moment Umi understood that her love wasn't, and couldn't be, limited to Honoka.
What made her so lucky that things turned out so right? Umi knew she may never get an answer, or at least one that stopped those thoughts. Never negative, but always filling her with a sense of strange wonder.
"You're so tense, Umi." Kotori kept her fingers sliding up and down as the credits started to roll. "What's wrong."
Umi kept her head down. Even being squished between two bodies of pure love wasn't enough to break those habits. The embarrassment came much too easy, and that may never change.
"So something is wrong," Honoka said, head resting on Umi's shoulder. "You said everything was okay a minute ago."
"Everything is okay." Umi choked out an excuse. "I've just been thinking about us."
"That's never good." Honoka didn't waste a second.
"Honoka." Kotori looked to the other end of the sofa before looking back to Umi. "Umi is this about what it was last time."
Umi sighed, nodding. Nothing ever got past Kotori, and hiding things from Honoka's smile was a crime.
"I still don't get what you meant last time you talked about it." Honoka picked her head up, facing Umi. "You kept asking why we're so lucky to be together, but I don't think we're lucky. I think we love each other a whole bunch and that's why we're together."
"I know that." Umi's voice leveled out, the tremble from earlier fading as she could always find courage in being close to Kotori and Honoka. "We all l-love each other and that's why we are together like this."
"Than what's the problem?" Kotori asked. "Because I didn't get it too much either."
Vocalizing her concerns was hard, and Umi took a second before continuing. "I don't understand why we get to be so lucky. Not just two of us, but all three of us got to be with the people we love. How often does something like that happen?"
Kotori kept her hand still on Umi's back. "Not very often."
"That's what I mean." Umi looked between her girlfriends. "We're so lucky. I don't want to take all this for granted. We have a house together and now we spend time together as lovers. It's all very amazing."
"It is." Kotori pushed her shoulder closer into Umi's, tugging the blanket in tighter.
"But do you really think it was lucky?" Honoka asked.
:"How couldn't it be?" Umi's voice was more frantic, less composed. "So many people don't ever get to be with the one they love, let alone two, and you guys are my oldest and most precious friends to boot. I can't think of anything other than luck that lead to this moment."
"Well, then what about that time in elementary school when we climbed that tree and saw the sunset?" Honoka's smile went from a pure joy to a rare subdued love. "That was amazing."
"Yes, but I don't see what that has to do with what I'm saying?" Umi asked.
"Oh, or what about that time in middle school when we all had a secret sleepover at Umi's because Honoka failed a test and didn't want to go home?" Kotori spoke up, ignoring Umi. "That was the first time Umi ever called her best friends to our face."
"Or what about when Umi confessed to both of us at the same time with letters even though we lived in the same house?" Honoka chuckled. "I don't think luck had a whole lot to do with that."
"What about how she always watches all these shows with us even though we know she doesn't like them at all." Kotori didn't miss a beat. "That sounds more like dedication than luck."
"I don't get you two." Umi huffed, tugging the blanket in closer. "What does any of this have to do with what I was talking about."
"What we're trying to say," Honoka said. "Is that none of this was luck."
"Yeah, Honoka's right on this one, Umi," Kotori said.
"How? I don't get any of this at all." Frustration took the place of embarrassment in Umi's voice. Getting outsmarted by Honoka was always a foreign feeling. "You don't think we're lucky to have what we do?"
"Nope." Kotori and Honoka said in unison.
"And you think that because of some random stuff we did when we were younger and that I watch stuff with you guys even though I don't want to?"
"Yup." Another group answer.
Rubbing the bridge of her nose, Umi sighed. "Could you please explain it a bit easier for me, than? Because I never do like having these thoughts."
"We're childhood friends who fell in love and do whatever we can to make sure everyone's happy. We have a history of deep friendship, and now we all try as hard as we can to make our relationship work." Kotori explained with a self-satisfied smirk. "How's that for an answer?"
"That doesn't sound like luck to me." Honoka slid an arm around Umi's waist. "You always talk about hard work, Umi. Well, doesn't that go for relationships, too? If we all try to make things work, there isn't any luck involved. Because I love you, and I love Kotori, and I want things to stay that way."
Umi sniffled. All it feeling dumb in retrospect. She could picture all those moments of trying so well. Those handwritten letters that were agonized over for months, all the corny romances she sat through to have something to talk about later, and those late night dinners she'd make when Kotori and Honoka worked late never sounded like work toward making their relationship stable. But, with Kotori and Honoka's words swirling in her mind, that effort was just that, effort. Years of friendship and months of making their relationship work didn't sound all that much like luck.
"I love you two." Umi's voice was a near whisper as she leaned back, two arms around her waist and heads on each of her shoulders.
Kotori and Honoka shared a look. "And we love you, too."
There was something odd in the pit of Umi's stomach as the next episode started. It was full as if things had finally fallen into place. As if she'd found the place she wanted to spend the rest of her life. A tough to describe feeling she would make a reality.