Chapter 1: Tantalizing Dreams and Ominous Presence
And so it began…I was deeply submerged under the water sinking slowly down, my legs kicked and lashed out feverishly in an attempt to get to the surface but to no avail I kept on drowning only prolonging my already decided fate. The water around me had gone black and the lights at the surface had long since faded so literally all I felt was the immense pressure building up around me. Slowly the sensation of fire in my lungs turned into a numb melancholy feeling as I began to accept my fate.
At least it was dark and at least it would soon be over and the overhead pressure became unnoticeable and my fears subsided. I closed my eyes and felt nothing but serene and deafening silence, the amount of time I could withstand not taking a breath was at its peak, I was bursting until I could take it no more, and just as I was about to take my fateful last breath I felt a vice-like grip on my jugular forcing me to swallow nothing. The pain and jostling urgency I felt after that could only be described as a shortness of breath but there is nothing to breath, my body inhaled nothing yet I was awake and alarmed. The surroundings began to come in on me and I felt like I was shrinking, yet a force beyond myself was forcing me to fight just as I was about to succumb to the sweet surrender of not fighting but now I had to fight. The pain I felt demanded to be known so I reacted to it. The grip on my throat felt like a hand trying to choke me but something was also trying to force me up to the world beyond my black ocean.
Then I remembered and knew, just as always and has ever been, I will not be allowed to quit, I will not be allowed to leave everything behind. Even though I know there is no way that this presence was near to me the notion of a person was so premeditated within me that no matter where I go I will always feel the ominous presence of that person even within my nightmares. Even when I am not in reality they will find me, just like they did so long ago…..Finally I was seeing the light above me as I lunged forward and upward with every last ounce of strength in my body. I felt like a dead weight while thousands of needles poked me and gravity tried to shrink and crush me into nothing but I kept fighting because if I didn't I would continue to suffer.
The hand on my throat remained a reminder that even though they were not there they would always remind me of the promise I made. My life meant little else than to keep this promise to that person and even in dreamland they would not let me break that promise. Hate and pain urged me forward, even a slow death would have been preferable to the rage dwelling inside me than to fulfill what that person wanted. But often times we do not have a choice, I made a sacrifice long ago for that purpose, we give things up to save the things we care about. Feeling broken and enraged I finally saw the first traces of light. That light would be the memory I keep in my head to remember the truth about that day, when I should have died I lived, but someone saved me. The person that saved me did not care about my life, but obviously there was something they wanted so when I should have died I lived. Almost dying changes things even if it was just a dream. It makes you wonder just how fragile life is and what you are alive for…