*Cracks fingers in preparation* Hey, guys! I am Harmony (obviously) and I am here with AJ ThaPlatypus (pen name waffleman1314-AJ ThaPlatypus) because we are writing something together :D It's a Phineas and Ferb story about redemption, crime, and possibly romance. We'll see where this crazy idea takes us. I would like to thank AJ ahead of time for agreeing to do this with me, it means a lot :) Okay, now let's get the most annoying part out of the way: I do not own Phineas and Ferb (nor does AJ). The rights to all products mentioned herein belong to their respective owners. *Sigh* Now, please enjoy our story "Guilty Innocents" and this first chapter written by me :D

Chapter 1: Silhouetted in the Dark

Perry

The air was cool and wet as it seeped in through the open window on that foggy night. I could see the fog trying to invade every crevice for quite some distance, though even my sharp eyes couldn't penetrate the fog as it thickened with each breathing minute. I held the pipe in my hand and, with one of my fingers, was tapping on it in impatience. Where is that man? I thought. I squinted my eyes, trying vainly to make out more of the neighboring buildings, to defy the fog. The fog beat me. I sighed and swiveled my chair around. I nearly jumped at the sight of a guest in the doorway. "Heinz, you lazy sod, where have you been these past three hours?" I asked with a well-played British accent.

"Just because we're in England doesn't mean you have to act like that. Besides, I had to dodge a few people on the way over here," retorted Heinz. I placed the pipe in my beak and took a few puffs of smoke, making visibility harder than before. "And close the window." He went behind my chair and shut the window quickly and firmly.

"What is it, old man? Afraid a ghost's on your tail?" I smirked.

"You sent me on a mission to get blueprints that were completely illegal," Heinz's voice dripped with acidity, but I didn't so much as blink at the threat.

"And?"

Heinz exhaled loudly and pulled a large rolled-up piece of paper from his pocket. "I got them. Just like you asked." I opened the blueprint and examined it with keen, eager eyes. With the pipe in my mouth, my hands were free to roam across the page before me.

"Excellent."

"I- why do we still do this, Perry? Hm? What for? Just for the rush of doing a job? That fear of getting caught before escaping to 'freedom'?"

I rolled my eyes and sighed. I rubbed the fingers of my right hand over my eyelids as I leaned my other elbow on the desk in front of me. "Heinz, we've been through this before, haven't we?"

"I don't know why you keep insisting we do this. Now, any other crime I might have felt safer with, but this..." Heinz indicated the paper before me and leaned close to me as he finished: "...is murder."

"On whose behalf? Yours? You know just as well as I do that you can leave at any time. You can go find another job anywhere in the world, correct? Or... wait... is it perhaps that you can't get another job because any other crime boss wants your head and the law in 20 countries has the permission to shoot you dead."

"I believe you're speaking of your record. I only count 19 on my part."

"Nonetheless, Heinz, you know as well as I do what's at stake for you if you leave." There was a tense pause in the room. I leaned back in my chair, having thought I won my point.

"But stealing from the royal princes?! That's not just illegal, not just 'might get us in trouble,' it's plain evil!"

"Why, certainly it is. It's all the more reason why we should do it. I'm sure the princes wouldn't miss a few baubles from their vast collection of wealth."

"I would sooner denounce my loyalty to the crown than this. The princes, Perry..." he let the words hang in the air. While Heinz had been talking, I drew out a picture from a desk drawer and placed it on the desk. It was a picture of the two princes themselves. I stared at it until Heinz finished speaking.

Then, in a voice of venomous wrath, I spoke, "The princes must pay for their disloyalty to their people." I rose from my chair and faced the window. "Tomorrow at noon, a ship leaves for the isles. This ship will carry the princes, leaving us room to invade the royal castle and steal the princes' jewels." I smiled and took a few more puffs of my pipe, but I faltered when I looked out the window in the faint light cast from our room to the street just ahead of me. Was that... a shadow? A spy! I turned to my desk and rustled the paper a bit before taking it into my coat pocket. "Lead them away and don't you dare lose it." I moved my eyes slightly to the window and Heinz understood my meaning.

"Here we go again..." Heinz muttered as he went out the door. Perhaps it was good that I had planned for this. If the spy was indeed working for the princes, then they would take the jewels with them. Good thing we had blue prints. I smiled and took another puff of my pipe.

Penelope

"Your majesty, I believe there is someone who wishes to perform a terrible act against the crown," I said meekly.

"Murder?!" the queen gasped.

"Nay, your grace, but thievery."

"You don't mean..."

"Aye, my queen."

"Can you be certain?"

"I have sent my best spy to retrieve the final pieces of the puzzle, then, we shall put our plan into action."

"What plan, pray?"

"With all due respect, your majesty, that plan is for the ears of three souls alone... including mine. I know it is much to ask to trust someone like me with such delicate affairs-"

The queen put up her hand. "You may go about your plan. Just be sure to not let those jewels fall into the wrong hands. My brothers, the princes, can craft things of strange and fantastic wonder that can do both great good and great harm."

"Understood, your majesty. I shan't fail you."

"And if you should?"

"That won't happen... with all due respect, your majesty."

"Very well. If there is nothing further, you are dismissed."

"Thank you, your majesty." I curtsied as low as I could manage before walking out. This wasn't going to be easy and it certainly wasn't going to be good. No, especially not when my "plan" entailed stealing the jewels myself before the other thief could. For England and for the crown, they say, but how far is the crown willing to save me this time?

That's it for the first chapter. A lot of vague points are being dropped here, but what does it all mean? I suppose we shall find out. Join us next chapter for AJ's chapter. Please keep reading and reviewing, thanks :)