Hamlet: A Harry Potter Version.

Storm: We've had our suspicions about Shakespeare from the start. In fact, it's not just us, some historians also believe that Shakespeare-

Tsuki: He liked his toast buttered on the other side if you know what I mean.

Storm: So erm……..

Tsuki: No cookies for you!

Storm: Awww…in return you must tell them about the story.

Tsuki sweatdrop fine. Hamlet is a story about a young prince and his VERY good friend Horatio. Ok….it's really not about Horatio but he is a good friend and he will be appearing a tad bit more often in our version. So Hamlet's father is murdered by his brother, who then marries the queen. Hamlet, (or Harry in this case) is visited by the ghost of his father who then tells him that his brother murdered him. Harry swears revenge and in the long run, pretty much everybody dies.

Storm: I'm sure you people have either read the play or have seen "The Simpsons" version but we are going over the summary just in case. We will be following the acts. Each scene will be about a chapter with some exceptions for the shorter or longer ones.

Who's who in this story:

Claudius: Voldemort.

Hamlet: Harry Potter (of course)

Polonius: Severus Snape.

Horatio: Draco Malfoy

Laertes: Ron Weasley

Rosencrantz: Sirius Black

Guildenstern: Remus Lupin

Osric: Colin Creevey

Marcellus: Seamus Finnigan

Bernardo: Dean Thomas

Fransisco: Hermione Granger

Reynaldo: Gregory Goyle

Two Clowns: Fred and George

Fortinbras: Blaise Zabini

Gertrude: Lily Potter

Ophelia: Ginny Weasley (stupid Ginny die bitch die!)

Ghost: James Potter.

Tsuki: Finally, let's get on with the story.

Disclaimer: We are poor to buy the rights to Harry Potter. If we did Draco and Harry would have been together a long time ago. We can't own Shakespeare as he has been dead for more than half a millenia and we can't afford to buy the rights to his play either.

Hamlet: Harry Potter Version

Before Hogwarts became a school of Witchcraft and Wizardry it was a castle of blood and deceit. This castle belonged to a king, a king who was murdered. But that's getting ahead of ourselves. Let's start from the beginning.

Act I, scene I

It was a dark and stormy night and people were sleeping. Except for the guards, of course, they were keeping watch. Dean Thomas shivered in the cold night air. He so didn't want to be here. Hermione had literally begged him to stay with her. She was afraid of some stupid ghost she apparently had seen the other night.

Dean whipped his head around as he heard approaching footsteps.

"Who's there?" he called, squinting in the dark.

"Identify yourself!" Hermione yelled, all her fear seemingly forgotten.

"Long live the king!" Dean replied stupidly, hoping it would be good enough for the other guard.

"Dean?"

"Yeah?" he replied in annoyance. Didn't she realize he was the only other guard on duty? Who else could it possibly be? "Go to bed, you freak. I'll keep up the watch."

"Humph. Fine. It's cold out here anyway." She pouted, giving him a faint shove and a death glare. "YOU can freeze your ass off out here for all I care."

"Well goodnight, and remember, I'm freezing my ass off for you." He said in a singsong voice. "Seamus isn't going to like that! By the way, if you see him and Draco, tell them to get THEIR butts over here and keep me company on this cold and lonely night." He grinned with mock sorrow.

Suddenly, footsteps echoed off the castle walls.

"I think that's them." Hermione replied, as the footsteps drew near.

"You guys are pathetic. If I was the enemy, you'd be dead by now." Came Draco's silky voice as he stepped out of the shadows with a shivering Seamus in his wake.

"Dean, let's share body heat!" Seamus whined, rushing over to his boyfriend and enveloping him in a bear hug. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed in exasperation at his lover's antics.

"Have fun boys. I'll leave you all…alone." Hermione said with a knowing smile, turning on her heel to leave.

"You know very well they are beneath me, Granger." Draco called out, but the girl was already gone.

"What brings you two here?" Dean asked, rubbing Seamus' arms to keep him warm.

Seamus laughed. "Well, technically I'm here, but Draco's mind is somewhere else entirely."

"You guys are talking nonsense." The blonde snapped, sending them a death glare.

"See? See? I told you so." Seamus said smugly. "Hey, have you two seen the ghost Hermione keeps harping on about?"

Dean shook his head. "Nope."

"It's all in her head. She needs to grow a spine." Draco muttered. "We won't see it."

Dean let go of Seamus and tackled Draco, sending him to the ground. "Sit down and shut up. You need to hear the story." He paused, taking a deep breath as Seamus sat beside him. "Last night, around this time, Hermione saw what seemed to be a floating lantern coming her way. She got up to investigate and came face to face with the ghost of, and get this, Harry's father."

Seamus pointed. "Kind of like that one?" he asked, looking over Draco's shoulder.

The others whipped around, and found themselves facing the bane of Hermione's existence. The ghost of James Potter stood regarding them with apparent disdain. After a moments silence, Seamus screamed like a girl, clinging to Dean.

"Draco! You're the smart one, talk to it!"

"Yeah, talk to it! I don't wanna die!" Dean added, his eyes wide.

"Shut up. Neither do I." Draco snapped back. "But unlike you fools, I know ghosts can't harm the living."

"If you're so sure of that, then talk to it. You know they can't speak until spoken to." Seamus said, nodding in the direction of the ghost. "Ask it what it's doing here."

Draco stood up, brushing off his pants. With an air of annoyance, he turned to the ghost. "What the Hell are you doing here and why have you taken the appearance of our dead king?"

"Dude, don't piss it off!" Dean yelped at the angry look on the ghost's face.

The ghost shook its head and turned away.

"Don't you ignore me, you pathetic pile of ghostly essence!" Draco stomped, unused to being ignored.

The ghost shook its head once more and disappeared just as the cock crowed.

"You idiot!" Dean exclaimed. "It was about to speak and then you had to go and annoy it with your not so eloquent-"

"Me? Not eloquent?" Draco growled in a dangerous voice, his silver eyes narrowing. "It disappeared because the sun came up you uneducated slobs!"

"Hey! Keep that sexy tone of voice for Prince Harry!" Seamus said with a snicker.

Draco Malfoy's cheeks coloured with a very faint hue of pink. "I do NOT have that kind of relationship with his majesty!"

With that, Draco whirled around dramatically on his heels, his cloak billowing and stomped off angrily.

Seamus snickered. "I told you he liked him. I wonder if he's in a relationship with him yet."

It was not known at all in the kingdom, but Harry was as gay as they came. Many believed that he was with Ginny at the moment but it was all an act. Seamus and Dean considered themselves experts in such matters as this. As such, they had both examined the Prince thoroughly and through this research had found out which way he swung.

"Since that was just a joke on my part and really had nothing to do with Harry's and Draco's….erm FRIENDSHIP, we have to investigate," Seamus said with a mischievous grin.

His boyfriend mirrored that smile. "If they aren't, then they shall be in a couple week's time," he said with an evil chuckle. "Come, we must plan."

Dean got up and helped his boyfriend to his feet before they walked off chuckling madly.

There you people go. The first chapter of our story. The rest will probably be longer in case you were wondering. This is one of Shakespeare's longest plays so don't expect us to stop any time soon unless there is no interest.

On that note if you want to see Harry and Draco together, please review….actually you'll have to review or else the next chapter will be one word long.