Title: Cheval glass
Characters: Syaoran, Watanuki
Rating: PG..probably.
Warnings: Spoilers for the most recent chapters of both Tsubasa and xxxHolic! (Although I have ignored some things...canon is just changing way too quickly at the moment! I've already had to change a load of things once...)
Summary: Parallels and connections; what their worlds revolve around.
Notes: Written for the LJ comm 2x5obsessions. Since I had to claim two fandoms, I figured I might as well pick two that link together! I really wanted to try writing Tsuba/Holic but, even now I've done it, I can't say it's very comfy. I love them both to bits but writing them is not easy for me...guess I'm out of practice in general! It's been sitting around on my harddrive for a while. I'm not happy with it but I'm sick of looking at it and it's been way too long since I updated!
So..enjoy!
I.i.
a succession of ordinary days
On Monday they ate under a Sakura tree far from the classrooms. Doumeki was predictably frustrating, Watanuki predictably loud. Tuesday was a quiet walk home again. Wednesday brought simple sweeping and dusting chores. On Thursday, Yuuko and Watanuki visited the shrine for a picnic. Nothing out of the ordinary happened. On Friday Himawari was predictably sweet and innocent, mistaking Watanuki's frustration with Doumeki for close friendship.
It was a very normal week. And in that, it was peculiar. No clients, no unusual jobs, no strange and unpleasant encounters. It was nice to be at peace and yet…
…they don't feel right, ordinary days.
I.ii.
unsettled ashes
His surroundings have changed, but his situation has only changed marginally.
He had spent many years trapped in glass, paying a necessary price. Now he's free, but he still has a necessary price to pay for his actions. Taking back his heart – he owes Kurogane now. And Fai. And the clone, he supposes. But most of all he owes Sakura for the hurt he's caused and the loss they all feel.
Instead of a glass prison, there are glass friendships. And they're easier to break.
Everyday he's painfully aware of this one thing.
He's treading on the ashes of a life cut short.
II.i.
falling off the edge of the world
He never thinks about it, but it's there in the back of his mind. The realisation that he knows very few people. Sure, he knows Yuuko and the other shop inhabitants. He knows Doumeki and Himawari. He also knows Yuuko's clients.
But he can't even remember his parents' names. Or any other students. Or teachers, for that matter. Sometimes, he's sure they don't remember him either.
He doesn't think about it, even when he realises. Who wants to realise they're not the centre of their world anymore?
Perhaps he's falling into a different world.
II.ii.
a lost childhood memory
If he stops to think about it, he realises his situation is almost humourous. He's looking for Sakura's feathers so that she'll regain her memories, yet she'll never remember him. There's Yuuko's bargain to consider, but for him it doesn't matter anyway.
He was never there to begin with.
Stopping to think about it is never a good idea.
III.i.
oasis
It's heavy and oppressive walking home from school on his own, because even if he likes the peace and quiet while it lasts (although Himawari would always be welcome to walk with him, of course), there were the spirits (and monsters) to consider (there's one back there now) and he knows he looks ridiculous waving around at thin air (at least that's how others see it) and his pace gets quicker and quicker, but it's better than the alternative and oh no itscatchinguptom-
He's not glad to see Doumeki around the next corner (damn him). But at least he's lost the monster.
Doumeki stares at him.
"You're still waving your arms around like an idiot." (At least he's safe.)
III.ii.
an empty room full of sound
It's not empty.
It's the careful laughter that drifts in through the cracks from the corridor. It is girlish, high-pitched and brave. It's the sound of stiff silence that bounces across the walls and floor. It's a bed that lies unmade. It is unimportant; forgotten in the face of important, life-changing worries. It's a coat lying draped over a chair, speaking of colder worlds, though there is little warmth here.
It's the swords lying propped against the wall. One large and one small, not crossed. It's a downing of arms and respite from the slings and arrows of fortune. It's the scribbles of magic signs on a desk corner, sketched in idleness and it's the doodles of Mokona and stick figures and feathers and cake, whispering of happy times.
And it's the eyepatch on his bed he'll hear loudest. Returned to him, it's a pat on the shoulder, a strained smile and the promise that-
"It's okay. We're okay."
IV.i.
elusive dreams
It doesn't hurt now. But he's tired.
Like something's missing.
So Watanuki stares at Yuuko's ceiling. He tries to remember dreams.
A brown haired boy. Syaoran, but not the one who appeared on a rainy day. He's intimately important. Watanuki can feel it. The boy paid a price for Watanuki's life. Why? All he can do is be grateful.
Syaoran is significant. The reason is there somewhere. For the life of him, Watanuki can't remember it.
IV.ii.
when everything's made to be broken
Syaoran has memories that are both his and yet not his. He has inherited friendships that feel like his, but aren't entirely. He'll make both of them his eventually.
But there's one constant and that is Watanuki. He might be forever far away in another world, but he's closer to Syaoran than anyone else. There's almost nothing he wouldn't give to the boy and now that he knows Watanuki has given so much himself, Syaoran will never have regrets.
V.i.
the dark things you fear
Yuuko is driving a hard (but fair) bargain with the world-travellers again. Her smile is hard too – all business. But her eyes show the strain of hiding her sympathy. Watanuki has gotten better at reading his employer over the months, but only when she isn't looking at him. Something is worrying her and if something worries Yuuko, it worries Watanuki even more.
From a safe distance, Watanuki peers through the projected window at the odd group. The blond man's smile isn't as wide and natural now, Watanuki sees. And he's missing an eye. It's odd how the smile is the first thing he notices. The fierce black-haired man looks tired, but no less angry. He looks a little bewildered; Watanuki is used to being in such a state, himself.
Sakura is not there. That is worrying. He frowns. Shouldn't she have returned from the dream with Syaoran by now? He notices the boy standing a little behind the blond man.
Syaoran catches his eye just then, and gives him a small, concerned smile. He lifts one hand in a motionless wave. Watanuki's frown stays put. He dazedly lifts a hand of his own.
V.ii.
the toll of a bell at sunrise
The Witch wants to help, but she can't do so for free and no matter what she asks for, it is always costly. Syaoran prefers to talk to her only if it's absolutely necessary. It usually is.
For once, though, it's just Fay and Kurogane who wish to make a deal with her so Syaoran stands back at a respectful distance. It's late and he'd rather be asleep. Fei Wong is within sight and tomorrow the journey continues its relentless pace.
Syaoran feels eyes on him and looks up at the image of the Witch of Dimensions. Watanuki is standing in the background, wearing a white cap and apron and carrying a large mixing bowl. There's a troubled frown on his face as he stares out at Syaoran. Such a look shouldn't darken Watanuki's face, so Syaoran pulls a smile and raises his hand in a wave. Watanuki looks only marginally less concerned, but he gives a small wave in return.
It's like the final toll of a bell before a sunrise execution.
I decided to shove this fic in the Tsubasa section simply because you need to have read more of Tsubasa to understand this fic than you do Holic.
Oh wow, the angst. I really need to write something cheerful!
My beta assured me the sections weren't repetitive, although I felt they were a little. It's all a matter of taste, perhaps? Either way, additional feedback is always welcome!