The raven-haired woman stopped just before the sensors registered her presence, leaving the door closed. She gazed miserably at the door, one hand slightly raised, reverently holding an envelope. She half-hoped that Joker, or James, or Garrus, or anyone would radio her in that moment, to delay what she knew she had to do. She also knew that none of them would do so – they all knew why she was there. They had to know, especially after Samantha saw her getting off the elevator up in CIC. Traynor was no idiot, and Ash had never been good at hiding her tears.

She drew a deep breath, and stepped closer to the door, praying to God for assistance in what she had to do. She stepped in the darkened room, clearing her throat softly and giving her eyes time to adjust. Not that it was hard to spot the quarian, staring off into space, sitting in the same chair she had been in the last time Ash had seen her. She'd been coming up here when she was off-duty ever since they received the notice from Earth that there had been no word from the Commander, that he and Admiral Anderson were missing – presumed dead while trying to make the Crucible work.

"Tali?" she inquired softly, wishing she could hide the pain in her voice. "I… went up to the Captain's Cabin today." She looked away then, not sure she could face the other woman just then. "I know, it's too soon – I'm not trying to replace him, even if I'm the highest ranking officer in the Alliance here. I know you or Garrus could probably command this ship, better than I co-." She sighed. "I'm rambling, I'm sorry. I went to check on his fish. It's silly… I know, I just-"

"Lieutenant Commander," came the heavily-accented voice, slightly mechanized by the mask she, like all of her race, was forced to wear. "Please… I would like to be alone."

"I know. I just…" Ash held up the envelope then. "This… is for you. I found it leaning against the picture of you. It… it has your name on it."

Tali stirred herself briefly, rising to take the envelope, then returning to her seat. "What is it?" she asked softly, more to herself than Ash, though the human answered anyway.

"I'm not sure where he found the paper, but it's a letter. A hand-written letter, like they used to do it back in the old days." She paused, then continued, "It's a long-standing tradition, leaving a letter or message for loved ones – in case you don't come back. I…" She trailed off, then smiled sadly, realizing the quarian was ignoring her completely as she turned the letter over and over in her nimble hands. As the lieutenant-commander stepped out of the room, she heard a soft ripping noise.

My Dearest Tali,

If you're reading this letter… something must have happened to me on Earth. I find myself hoping that you didn't witness it, praying irrationally that you were a thousand light-years away, not about to follow me fearlessly into the mouth of Hell. I can't imagine going into this without you next to me, but when I think about what could happen, my mind just seems to freeze up and my heart feels like it wants to stop beating.

I'm sitting here, looking at your picture, knowing exactly where you had that taken. It was when you slipped away on Rannoch while I was discussing the forces that would be sent to aid the fleet and the Crucible with the other Admirals and the prime unit that was representing the Geth. It's beautiful, and only rarely have I ever seen you so happy. Twice, as I recall. Once before we went to stop the Collectors, and last night.

[The next few words are obliterated by something – a liquid, now dry, a pen marking through it.] I can't believe how hard this letter is to write. You're probably wondering why I wrote it in the first place, rather than just recording some words on a computer or datapad somewhere. I wanted you to have something real, something….tangible to hold. And I wanted to make sure this wasn't something that anyone found until it needed to be found. And I could destroy when I made it back safely. Suppose that's why I'm writing this while we're headed to Earth. This is it.

Right now, I'm wishing things could be different. I'm thinking that when this war is over, when this fight is done, that you and I might find somewhere quiet, far from Earth, far from Rannoch, where we can just be Shepard and Tali for awhile, not a human commander and a quarian admiral. Just us. I know your people are important to you, so I have this sort of silly idea that we'd end up with a home on the Citadel, or somewhere close to it. Maybe a second vacation home on Rannoch. Perhaps… somewhere with an ocean view. I know there are difficulties with us being a quarian and a human that make some things impossible, but I thought – maybe we could adopt. There will be a lot of orphans after this war. Human and quarians that need parents. It's a silly dream, isn't it? Us having kids? I don't- [more of the writing is obscured here] I don't know our peoples will let us do that, if they will leave us alone once this is done. The Admiralty will need you, and the Alliance will need me. But that is what I want to choose. How I want to live out the rest of my life. A family. With you.

But if you're holding this - it means that dream is gone. It means I'm not coming home. I am so sorry. Know that whatever happens, yours is the last face I'll see, your love the last thing I think about.

Wow, this is getting long. I'm rambling, I think – I don't want to put this down, because finishing it makes everything so much more real. I thought about writing instructions – things for you to tell Joker, about how he's like a little brother to me, or Garrus…but no. This letter is all yours, Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya.

I need you to promise me something, Tali. Promise me that you will build that house, and someday find someone else to share your life with. You are something worth fighting for – a future with you. But if that becomes… if – Promise me, Tali, promise me you'll have a future. A nice quarian man, maybe several kids now that you have your homeworld back.

Be happy, my Tali.

And if you ever doubt our love, or how I feel about you – even knowing that you could be reading this letter, knowing that your tears may stain it as much as mine have…

It WAS totally worth it.

Keelah se'lai,

Shepard.

A few days later, the crew stood in front of the memorial just off the elevator. They had already had their ceremony for EDI, as well as one for Admiral Anderson, and both names graced the wall. Quietly, they assembled, forming behind Tali, drawing close to each other in their shared grief. In working with the salarians to make the necessary repairs to the SSV Normandy, they had arranged for a day of mourning, for all those lost in the war, centered around their commander.

One-by-one they came to stand with their friend, as she stood in front of the memorial, holding the plate that read Commander Shepard. Her head was bowed low, her hands running over the smooth material, thoughts far away. Silently they stood, waiting, letting what they were about to do wash over them. It wasn't real, it wasn't true. Not until the name rested in honor upon the wall would they accept it.

Silently, Tali stepped forward, holding it up and running her hand along it one last time. Taking a deep breath, her fingers lingering in the 'S' of his name. She sighed softly, wanting to draw this moment out a little longer. Her vision blurred as tears appeared in her eyes, silently sliding down her face. She held up the sign, her voice a soft whisper coming out of her mask. "Keelah, Shepard. Keelah Se'lai, I miss you so-."

At that precise moment, the audible click of the Normandy's speaker system kicked in. "Excuse me for interrupting…" came the somewhat timid voice of the yeoman left on duty looking over incoming communications while Samantha was at the memorial. "We're…receiving a message. It's a couple of weeks old at this point, I think it was sent before the comm buoys were restored. Why we haven't heard anything about this before now, I can't imagine, maybe they thought we already knew. But… I'm rambling. Hold on, I'll patch it through."

"I'm sorry, Tali." Ash said as they waited. "I'll be having a chat with him abo-"

The voice that came over the loudspeaker was hard to understand in all the static, but it was loud enough to interrupt the LC. "…andy. This message is for the SSV Normandy. We ha… body of….mir…nderson. We have …bzzz….d the Co…zzzt… der." There was a collective intake of breath as they turned to one another. "His-" At that point the message broke up into a massive burst of static noise. "critical. We have …brrrrtzzzztch….rred him to." The message cut out completely, soft white noise before one final burst. "…ospital."

Those gathered to bear witness stopped breathing for a moment, staring at each other as their minds struggled to make sense of what their ears had just heard. Silence reigned in that passageway, none of them willing to give voice to the hope swelling within their hearts, for fear that it was a mistake. The message could've just has easily been about where to pick-up his body for a funeral. The voice had, through the static, sounded hopeful, hadn't it?

Tali slowly lowered the name plate she held, and when she spoke, her filtered voice was filled with emotion, as though she wanted to scream or cry or burst, yet was holding it back, as though bracing herself for further emotional pain.. "Can we…try the QEC? Raise Admiral Hackett, Earth, someone?" She turned to the rest of them. "Someone who can tell us if that message…means what I hope…what we hope it means?"