Prologue

Harry was, he supposed, glad to be back at Hogwarts. It had taken some cajoling on Hermione's part to get him to go - he had just wanted to rest after a tough 7th year that had included, he had pointed out, defeating Voldemort. But Hermione had insisted that he couldn't live off his fame forever, so he agreed to finish his studies. Ron was back as well, but Harry suspected that was only because Hermione was there. Their relationship had grown even stronger over the summer, with Ron needing comfort after the loss of Fred, and Hermione being the most unconditionally understanding of his friends.

Other than the three of them, most of Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw had come back, but only about half of Slytherin. Many of them were in hiding due to their parents' role in the war, or just fearing retribution for being friends of Death Eater children and sometimes just for being Slytherins. Given that people were still jumpy because of the emotional shock of the whole mess, blame was dealt pretty liberally. In these troubled times, the last thing you would expect to hear would be what happened next.

"Attention, please!" Heads turned, looking for the speaker. It was, to everyone's surprise, Neville. "Voldemort, as you know, is gone, and credit to that goes to our own Harry Potter!" He paused for a moment to let the cheers die down before continuing. "Yes, yes, it's all very happy. But, it comes at a huge price. I know that many of you lost friends and family in the war, and need a little comfort. So, I propose the first ever Hogwarts Prank War." There was a sudden roar of agreement and laughter, which turned to murmurs of plotting for what promised to be a year of hilarious fun. It seemed to be exactly what they all needed, and Harry was impressed with Neville for coming up with the idea.

"This is brilliant" Ron was saying. "Too bad Malfoy isn't here. I would have loved to get him." He smiled, relishing the idea.

"No, but that horrible Pansy is," said Hermione, shuddering. "I'm surprised she's not staying with Malfoy to give him support during the trial." Malfoy's parents had been arrested over the summer for their direct involvement with Voldemort. Both parents faced heavy sentences in Azkaban, and Draco, being barely of age, only risked having his wand confiscated.

"So who should we target, anyway?" Ron asked. "I say we get whatever Slytherins are left." Harry nodded.

"Speaking of the Slytherins, though, something's up with Blaise," he said, pointing over at the House table in question. Blaise was looking right at them, muttering something under his breath and moving his wand in complicated circles.

"What do you suppose he's doing?" Ron asked, but the others heard "Je t'aime."

"I didn't know you spoke French, Ron." Hermione said, impressed but slightly confused. Harry and Ron stared at her. To them, it sounded like she had just called herself a buck-toothed prat.

"Hermione, do you know you just called yourself a buck-toothed prat?" Harry asked, and the others stared at him, unable to place what language he was speaking

"Um, Harry? What does 'Mi estas stulta kaj malmodesta' mean?" Ron asked, but all they heard was his profession of love to Harry again.

"Um, guys? What's going on?" Ginny asked tentatively, unsure if she was interrupting something. "Hermione, I really hope you don't know what you're saying. Ron, what's up with the French 'I love you' thing? And Harry, I have no idea what you're saying, but it's probably not good." Harry, Ron, and Hermione blushed, looked ready to kill someone, and looked bewildered, depending on what Ginny had just told them. "Come on. Lets get you to the hospital wing," Ginny said. Ready to get this fixed all three of them agreed, but silently so as to avoid having to say their respective strange things again.

Madame Pomfrey looked up, surprised, as Ginny led Harry, Ron, and Hermione in.

"Goodness, the feast isn't even over yet! This must be a record," she exclaimed. "But what's wrong with you?" she asked, not seeing anything physically the matter.

"They were talking about stuff," Ginny explained, "and then they started saying odd things."

"I think one of the Slytherins hit us with a repeated phrase spell," Hermione explained, and the others cringed as she once again called herself a buck-toothed prat.

"Yeah, I think it was Blaise," Harry continued automatically, forgetting that he was now speaking an unrecognizable language and saying God knew what.

"It's all Neville's fault, though. He came up with the idea," Ron said, and Madame Pomfrey cringed as he unwittingly told her he was in love with her.

"Must be a repeated phrase spell," she told them. "Only a little more complicated, because you don't know what you're saying, and two of you aren't speaking English. Now stay here while I look for the cure, and don't talk. The more you talk, the less effective the counterspell will be. " She left the room, leaving the four of them sitting on a bed.

"It was a good idea," Ginny said. "But I have a feeling we'll be coming back here a lot this year." The other three agreed silently, for they had the dubious honor of being the first victims of the Prank War.

A/N: What do you think? Leave a review! Credit for the idea of repeated-phrase spells goes of course to CrazyGirl47 and her wonderful story The Prank War.