A/N: This isn't a sequel to 'White Rabbit' in any way. It's a brand new story. I wrote it frantically because I saw a picture. (I need to stop looking at pictures.) This one is already angsty. And prepare for flawed characters.

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Chapter One –

When he awoke, he knew immediately that he didn't feel good. There was a swaying motion that made him feel as if he were in movement, as if he were in a train – a strongly swaying train. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, tasting the cotton aftereffects of too much alcohol and cigarettes and the lingering taste of last night's dinner. His head didn't agree to it, either, and he lifted it slowly, blinking at the cheery bright sunlight that illuminated the bar. Then he squinted hard, reaching up to push his hair back from his face.

Next to him was a melted candle, cooled to a twist around the pillar it sat atop of. In front of him was some paper, a pen, and squiggles that didn't look like anything he recognized. Next to that was a container of what looked to be apples with a shimmery, starry colored skin – like looking up at the night sky from the desert. There was a teacup sized plate next to that, with remnants of bluish colored apple slices atop of it. A small paper with squiggles on that suggested notes had been taken of the apple – the drawings on it were labeled neatly, with arrows pointed at the meat and skin.

Blinking, he looked around himself, wondering why they'd leave him passed out at the bar. Were the others just as wasted as he felt? Did they leave him?

The kitchen area was wide, decorated with minimal cheer, with a long table and chairs in front of him, a long bench seat against the far wall, a ladder that led upward. The round windows showed him blue skies and a bright morning. The swaying motion made him sick.

Trying to ignore the feeling to vomit, he slipped off the stool with clumsy action, holding his stomach. He swallowed back bile a few times, then stumbled towards the doorway. He made to push it open, and could not.

I'm locked in! he thought with some terror, pushing and pushing, grunting with the effort. He reached for the handle to jiggle it, then realized all he had to do was pull. With an embarrassed expression, he pulled and walked out, covering his eyes with one hand. He was assaulted by many things at once; the smells of a salty sea, the sound of seagulls calling in the skies, the sounds of water rushing all around him, the creak of a boat as it negotiated these gentle waves that caused the uncomfortable swaying motion.

He reached out for the railing in front of him, lowering his hand from his face.

Where am I? he wondered with horror, unsure if he was dreaming. He pinched himself, but all it did was hurt that part of his arm. He looked over the deck as it was open to him – looking at the stretch of green grass, the mast, the soldier's dock across from him. The sails flutter gently in the morning breeze, and he clapped a hand over his mouth as he stumbled away from the railing and went running for the nearby side railing. He leaned over as far as he could and puked, hurling into the dark colored waves below while clinging to the railing with both hands, legs nearly taking him over as the swaying motion continued.

Then he laid over the railing with an uncomfortable groan, hands dangling over as his headache worsened and his stomach continued to try and make its way to his throat and sweat began to build at his hairline. He then lurched away from the railing, patting his pockets for his phone. Once he found it, he saw with dismay that he did not have service – but the most important thing was the battery life. 98%. A truly magical number. He'd need it just to get back home….from wherever he was.

"Thank you, Law!" he exclaimed, holding his phone up with a cheered smile.

"What?"

He nearly dropped his phone at the sound of a voice nearby, and he looked over to see the man coming up the stairway with a grumpy expression. He stalked over with a dramatic wave of his arms. "Ah! Pooh Bear! Oh my god, I was seriously freaking out! Where'd you go? How could you leave me like that? All by myself?"

There was something wrong with the picture. This man wasn't his boyfriend. This one was too skinny. He looked too dangerous. There were tattoos on his hands and arms and he wore a black shirt with a heart symbol on the sleeves; Law would never wear anything like that. Those narrowed eyes with pronounced eye bags weren't his, either. There were white patches visible on his slightly tanned skin, and before Sanji could examine them further, he rubbed his eyes frantically. This man wasn't his boyfriend. He was some sort of imposter wearing a different version of his skin. He was so embarrassed using the private pet name – one of many that he used when it was only them – that his face and neck reddened with utter mortification.

"What, Mr Blackleg?"

For a few moments, Sanji didn't know what to say. Because he didn't know where he was, and he didn't know who this person was, and because there was no service on his phone. So instead of answering, he took a couple of steps back, then hastily strode away, towards the back of the deck. He looked at his phone again, holding it up high, hoping to catch a signal of some kind. When nothing happened, he gave a curse of frustration, and looked at his messages. But the last one he'd had was Law asking him if he were ready yet. That had been hours ago – that had been before the restaurant. Before the bar, before the shots with Zoro and Nami and Shachi, before he blacked out and who knows what happened because he should've never been drinking in the first place!

He felt like throwing up again.

Where was he?

Sanji looked up, and realized how massive the sea was. There was nothing in the horizon that signaled any type of land, and there were clouds to the northeast that were white and puffy, like cotton balls. The sails fluttered gently, and the wake behind the ship left a bumpy indenture in the waves. In the far distance, some creature broke the surface and crashed back down. The sky wasn't the type of blue he was used to – it was so open, so…blue! He had to admit, he hadn't seen this type of sky, before, even when they went to Burning Man that one year – such a bad idea, he needs to never drink again -

"Oh my God," he muttered to himself, eyes wide with awe, then dawning horror. "I've been stolen by pirates."

"You're behaving strangely, Mr Blackleg. Was it something you ate? Or perhaps the stress of your family situation that you've left behind?"

He whipped around, nearly dropping his phone. That boyfriend imposter was staring at him from a safe distance, looking ready to strike if he had to. Sanji hurried away from him without saying anything, trying not to panic. Once he was back where he started, he felt sick again. He pulled at the door, struggling with it, propping a foot against the wall for effort as he strained to open it. Horror iced his veins – it'd locked on his way out.

"Let me in! Let me back in!" he muttered over and over, looking in the direction he'd come, expecting to see that weird predator coming after him. Desperation made him cling to the handle and shifted hold to stand on the door with one foot propped up against the doorframe, yanking with all his might.

Moments later, a tattooed hand pushed the door in, and Sanji rode along with it, giving the other man a mortified expression as the door creaked.

Law watched him from the doorway with a suspicious expression. "Maybe you should have your doctor see you."

Sanji hopped down onto the floor and shut the door on him hastily. Then he searched for a place to hide. This time, the door was kicked in, and he managed to find a storeroom that had a lock, so as soon as he twisted around to shut that door, he locked it, breathing heavily. Then he searched through the contacts in his phone and pressed on an icon. He couldn't call out. There was no service. Holding the phone high above his head, he searched for a signal once more, and tripped over some barrels, some bags in his path. He hit some shelves on the way down, knocking over cans, jars and bags that caused a lot of noise. But he held his phone close to his chest because he did not want to break it.

Once the noise and objects settled around him, he looked at his phone once more. 97%.

He locked it, then looked around himself. This was where they stored the food. It had a strange smell to it, almost musty, but the barrels were secure and there was nothing spilled when he picked himself up. Nothing had shattered. He brushed himself off, tucking his phone into his pants pocket. Then he listened to see if that imposter was nearby – when he heard nothing, he exhaled heavily, then went to go sit near the back wall. He had just fully seated himself when he heard it – an alarm that started off faintly, then grew louder in volume. He realized it was moving at a strange pace.

First it was from far away, then moved through the air with a steady pace, until he realized it was a voice. And the sound was his name.

"aaaaaaaannnNNNNNJJJJJJJIIIIIIIII!"

"Oh, thank God," Sanji said with a gratified air, quickly leaving the wall and heading for the door. He opened it with a grateful expression, seeing that Law was no where in sight. Cautiously, he ventured out from the storeroom and then headed in the direction of the voice. It was coming from outside, so Sanji hastily moved in that direction.

"Luffy!" he shouted, pushing the door out and looking to see the younger man careening his way with a delighted expression. But Sanji stopped short with a low gasp, putting the brakes on. He stumbled, lunging backward at a near 90 degree angle to avoid the happy hug of the other man. Once he hit the deck, he lunged back to his feet as Luffy sailed through the air with a surprised expression, then crashed into the railing nearby, rubbery limbs retracting to smack him.

Sanji stared in shock at this Luffy – this one in a printed blue flower shirt and cuffed jeans, straw sandals and with a massive scar over his thin chest. He was much skinnier than the one Sanji knew, and rangier, and – there was something else about him that didn't scream familiarity with Sanji. He cautiously eased back to the doorway, watching as Luffy climbed back to his feet with a quiet 'hup!' and brushed himself off before looking back at Sanji with an expression of childlike glee.

"BREAKFAST!" he howled. "I'm HUNGRY! IS IT READY?"

Sanji looked at him with wide eyes, mouth dropping open. Then he reached for the door handle once more, Luffy stalking towards him with a determined expression.

"Yo ho ho ho, good morning, Sanji darling! You're looking mighty fetching, today!" came a voice high above his head, and Sanji looked upward to seeing the skeleton face leering down at him, tight black curls dangling just inches from his face. Sanji's face paled, his mouth opened even wider with a building scream. "What sort of panties go with those pants?"

"I'm not wearing any!" Sanji exclaimed with disgust, zipping away from the skeleton's tall frame, gaping up at his height with frightened awe.

"Oh? No panties, today? True freedom for men, then?"

"I mean, I'm not wearing women's undergarments! What the hell? What is this? What are you?"

"Ho ho hoho! I'm me! I'm Brook, I'm a skeleton! No skin for me, either. I lost it a long time ago! Thank you for asking!"

"I didn't ask that!"

"Sanji, I'm hungry," Luffy whispered in his ear, standing much too close to him. Sanji clapped a hand over his ear and scooted out from the boy, nearly tripping over the newest obstacle in his path.

"Ow! Sanji! You asshole! How could you miss me? I'm standing right in front of you!"

Sanji looked down at the reindeer that cursed at him, picking himself up from the floor. His blue and pink hat clashed with his yellow tank top and camoflauged shorts. Sanji's eyes widened once more, unsure of who this person was.

"It's okay, Chopper, Sanji's still waking up!" Luffy exclaimed. "Look at those eyes! Sanji, were you up all night again? looking at those naughty magazines?"

"Ho ho ho ho! Sanji!"

"You're going to go blind!" Chopper whispered in concern.

"NO!" Sanji shouted, then turned and ran for the back once more, much to the confused expressions of the trio he left behind.

"I'm pretty sure that's his guilty conscience speaking for him," Luffy said, arms crossed over his chest, head tilted.

"Oh, that Sanji, he's certainly a lonely man after denying himself a wife," Chopper said with a sad expression.

"So…no breakfast? I'm wasting away, here. Oh, but I already did," Brook said, looking down at himself, exposing his ribs with a brush of his bony fingers against his shirt.

"He might be an imposter," came the voice behind them, Chopper and Brook shrieking minutely before hiding behind Luffy.

"Ah! Tra-guy! Hmm? Imposter?" Luffy asked, picking his nose as Law frowned down at him with disgust.

"He has been behaving strangely from the moment he woke up this morning. And he is carrying an odd device, relying on it to tell him what to do. It might be a trap. Perhaps he hasn't escaped from his family, just yet," Law said seriously. "They are probably using that contraption to control him from a distance."

Luffy's face turned determined. "Then we shall set him free. AGAIN. Brook, Chopper! You know what to do!"

"Right!" they said in unison, standing at attention.

Then Chopper frowned. "Are we going to give chase? Or are we in charge of making breakfast, again?"

"I get to hold the spatula, this time!" Brook insisted.

"Wait, you're making breakfast? Can I help?" Luffy asked, whipping his head around.

"NO!" both of them shouted. "We're going to do it!"

"I burned the kitchen down ONE TIME, and you guys won't let it go!"

Law turned away with a suffering expression as Luffy, Chopper and Brook began arguing amongst themselves in who was going to make breakfast, losing track of what they were going to do seconds earlier.

Meanwhile, Sanji peered around the corner, hearing the trio still arguing about making breakfast. He inched towards the doorway, intending on hiding himself back into the storeroom until he could figure out what to do. But before he could, a large figured dropped down in front of him with a low snarl, and Sanji automatically jerked back and shrieked. The sound carried out over the boat deck with such volume that it seemed to echo over the water, and he grew embarrassed for himself as he cut the sound short.

"Wow, Sanji bro, what the hell was that? I know some of my clothing choices offend you from time to time, but this is the first time you've made such a big deal out of it," Franky said, massive hands on his narrow hips as Sanji looked at him with consternation.

His eye was wide as he took in the mechanical arms, the wide shoulders, the fake nose; the blue hair standing at attention in a creative Mohawk looked impossibly shaped. He was wearing blue dip dyed Speedos. The various scars the rippled over muscle and flesh. The thigh high steel…boots? Legs – Sanji couldn't even fathom what that was about. How was this man even alive after all of this…modifying? Was he a man? He looked – even though he didn't want to – but he looked for the bulge in those Speedos. There wasn't any.

Sanji's nose wrinkled and his lip curled. He held all his limbs close to him because he felt he would touch the half man, half…whatever he was, accidentally. But then he grew fascinated, because was the man half human? So was that real skin, or fake skin? Was his skeleton composed of Terminator-like metal?

"Huh? Sanji?" Franky repeated, looking down at the man with a questioning tilt of his head.

"Are you real?" Sanji whispered, reaching out and poking his chest with an awestruck expression, then flattening his palm against the massive display of washboard abs.

"AYEEEEEE! What are you doing?" Franky shrieked, retreating backwards.

"Is that real flesh?" Sanji asked, walking after him, utterly mystified. "Are you a real person? How is this possible?"

"LUFFFFFY! Sanji's being weird!" Franky hollered. "He's touching me!"

"Hands off Franky, asshole!" Chopper's voice came from somewhere above – or around. Sanji wasn't sure where, because sound seemed to carry on these waters.

"Yo ho ho hoho! Frisky Sanji!" Brook laughed, from somewhere in the distance.

"Sanji! You know how self conscious Franky gets!" Luffy scolded, then laughed.

Sanji retreated, then hurried back into the kitchen, panting tightly. Once inside, he realized he was looking at Nami and Robin, both of whom looked back at him with puzzled expressions, seated at the table. But they weren't the women he was familiar with – Robin had shorter hair at the bar, last night. Nami wasn't wearing much of anything, save for an ill-fitting bra-top and too low, too short jean shorts. Just the sight of their exposed chests in tightly fitted shirts made him embarrassed to look their way. He'd seen Nami in enough tight and exposing clothing before, but nothing like this.

He wondered if they'd even finished dressing.

"Sanji, dear, what's up? What's with that face?" Nami asked him, lowering her newspaper while Robin looked at him with curiosity. "And what are you wearing?"

Sanji looked down at himself. He was wearing his favorite pair of jeans that were rolled to expose his ankles, his Oxfords bright and shiny. He also wore a black vest with a white shirt, a bowtie tied neatly at his collar. Over that was a black casual blazer, but the sleeves were rolled mid-forearm.

"Ah…this. This…where are your clothes? For the love of God, woman, your bosoms are going to sag to your thighs if you don't support them properly," he said, wincing as he covered his eyes, unsure of where to look.

When he heard Robin's strangled giggle, he opened his fingers to see Nami striding over to him, rolling up the newspaper with one hand as her face reddened with fury. He turned and ran out from the area, hearing her give chase. He almost crashed into Franky, but he stumbled over Chopper once more, slammed against Brook, who knocked over Luffy, who went rolling for the wall. Once he hit that, he emitted a loud cry of surprise, and Ussop shrieked from somewhere nearby.

"WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!"

To which Franky prepared for battle, Chopper ended up screaming from the floor in a panic, Brook was quick to get back to his feet, running for the lawn, and Nami was screaming at all of them that this wasn't true. Luffy laughed wildly.

Sanji raced away from them, panting tightly. His mind was in a panic. Everything was so different, and these people weren't his friends at all.

Luffy sat up from the floor, watching as Nami chased after the other man. It was obvious to the group watching that Sanji was unfamiliar with the ship. His expression was full of panic and surprise, and he wasn't even perving out on the woman with her bountiful chest and obvious intention. He ran in different directions, lunged and spun around the woman, then ran down the stairs, leading her on a grand chase. Once he realized he was cornered, he covered his head with his arms as Nami hit him with the newspaper.

"What's up with Sanji?" Luffy asked curiously. "Why is he behaving so weird?"

"I don't know, Luffy bro."

"Law said he was being weird ever since he woke up," Chopper said, tilting his head. "And I've never seen those clothes, before. Maybe he was kidnapped in the middle of the night and he was returned brainwashed."

"That's a very good explanation for all this, Chopper," Brook said, rubbing his chin.

"There were no other visitors to this ship," Law said, startling all of them. Chopper shrieked and darted behind Franky, Brook taking position behind Luffy, and Franky lifting an arm just to see the other man standing nearby. "He came out from the kitchen like that."

"Do you think his family did this to him? Maybe he's so traumatized by them that he had a mental breakdown," Robin suggested, joining them. "We need to treat this situation delicately."

"But most importantly, when are we going to eat?" Luffy complained, rising to his feet and walking over to the railing. "SANJI! I'M HUNGRY! I'M STARVING TO DEATH! DO YOU WANT ME TO DIE?"

"Make your own breakfast! You have hands!" came the shout.

Most of the group gasped and reacted with horror, drawing away from the boy that froze in reaction. Even Law reacted with a surprised expression.

"That's not Sanji!" Franky exclaimed.

"Sanji's a zombie!" Chopper cried.

"I'm starving to death as well, but you don't see me complaining over it, ho ho ho!" Brook tittered, then looked down at himself. "Oh, wait, I'm already dead!"

"Oh my," Robin murmured with some concern.

Sure enough, Luffy stepped atop of the railing with one foot, a tight expression to his face. "That's not Sanji. I'm afraid he's been body-snatched. He's definitely an imposter. Someone did this to him! This is unacceptable – for an enemy to steal off with my friend, my cook - ! They've declared war on my own ship! Someone will pay for this! It's bad enough that they tried to marry him off, but to do this? This is wrong! The wrongest of all wrongs! And I will not stand here and let it happen!"

Nami shielded her eyes with one hand, looking up at them as Sanji looked up as well, lowering his hands to his sides. "What's going on, up there? Luffy has that look to his face, again."

"What was he saying?" Sanji asked. "I was too busy being beaten to hear."

"Something about you being an imposter."

"This entire world is an imposter," Sanji said.

Nami looked back at him with concern. "Well, you are acting differently. You are dressed funny. And I've never heard you shriek like that, before. And you're not dying of blood loss. So you just might be an imposter."

"Why would I do all that?" Sanji asked her incredulously, rising to stand, brushing himself off.

"Because that's just you," Nami said, frowning at him. Once she realized her friends were moving up to the railing in a battle formation, she crossed her arms over her abundant chest, newspaper still clutched in one hand. "Oh. Looks like they're going to attack."

"Me?" Sanji asked, noting that Franky was pointing what looked like a canon in his arm their way. Chopper had changed from little reindeer to a massive humanoid with a hulking figure – Brook had his rapier out, waving in the air. Luffy had one arm to his mouth, steaming – Robin had her arms crossed over her chest. Next to her, Law was just frowning down at them, not moving.

"Nami! Get away from him! He's an imposter!" Luffy shouted at her.

Nami snorted, hands on her hips. "What are you talking about? Don't be stupid!"

"He's willing to let me starve!"

Nami looked back at Sanji with a concerned expression. "Were you being serious about that?"

"He can make his own meal," Sanji said with bewilderment. "I don't cook for him, everyday."

"Sanji, you're our cook. Why wouldn't you?" she asked curiously, brushing her bangs out of her face as a rumble of sound caught her attention. She looked over, realizing that they were in the midst of charging. Arms sprung out from the deck and latched onto Sanji's feet and legs, causing him to look down with alarm. Fear and terror caused his eyes to widen and his face to pale.

She looked back at him, and then felt for his distress. She lunged in front of him, arms stretched out to her sides and a fierce expression on her face.

"STOP IT! All of you!" she shouted, causing Luffy to switch direction. He slammed into the wheel with a garbled sound, limbs stretching out around him; Chopper screeched to a stop in front of her, Brook stumbling over him. Franky lowered his arm, and Robin uncrossed her arms with a surprised blink. "Obviously, something is wrong, here. He's not threatening us in any way. He's just…behaving oddly. For you to lunge out to attack just because he thinks he shouldn't cook for us – "

"That's why, Nami!" Luffy shouted. "Sanji would never say that to us!"

"Why should i? You guys are in charge of your own life! You cook your own meals!" Sanji exclaimed, watching as the arms disappeared around him. "You have your own homes!"

"SEE? SANJI WOULD NEVER SAY THAT!"

"Sanji hates to see people starving!" Chopper insisted. "Move aside!"

"It is unusual," Robin agreed.

"All of you are ridiculous! This is our friend! He is obviously affected by what happened, back there, give him a few days to recoup!" Nami insisted, hands on her slim hips. "He probably just had a breakdown! Wouldn't you agree, to those conditions he'd just left?"

All of them, save for Robin, grumbled. Beyond them, still standing on the back deck, Law snorted.

"Okay then! That settles it! No attacking Sanji until we figure out what's wrong with him!" Nami declared. She looked back at him. "Come, now. Let's go get some rest. I'm sure after you take a few moments to yourself, you'll wake up yourself, again. We can handle the kitchen."

Sanji stared at the bewildered faces that stared back at him. "Uh, okay. Sure."