Izaya for President
Disclaimer: I do not own Durarara!!! Idea first conceived by Madninja2500 and hallucinajenny from deviantART in the name of 'Izaya for Office.'
"Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya! Izaya!"
It was so chant-like, as people all over Japan had begun walking down the streets, carrying banners and signs everywhere. Shizuo had a hard time getting out of the crowd, as not one person were left at home; even babies and children joined in the fun. Except for a few exceptions, that is. All Kadota, Togusa, Erica and Walker had to do was just hopping into their van as they escaped the suffocation as the crowd was getting bigger and bigger by the second.
"People coming from all possible areas of Japan all gathered at Tokyo today, waging a protest, or probably support, for a man named Orihara Izaya. The reasons for many citizens of Japan doing that are in the midst of investigation currently…"
Kida and Mikado were at the latter's house, watching the news channel for updates on the sudden outbreak of people voting Izaya for President of Japan. Confused and perplexed about the situation, they were at their loose ends, with a zilch of ideas popping out of their minds. It's a little scary thinking of people having faces of Izaya pasted everywhere on the banners as if the entire Japan are under attack of the unnatural colossal forces of the enigmatic information broker.
"Hey, Anri here. Have you watched the news?"
"We did, what on earth is going on? Are you at home right now?"
"Kida's with me in my house. Is there anything we can do about it?"
"I don't think so." Anri soon dragged her speech into the midst of nowhere, now looking outside at the windows as millions of people continued chanting Izaya's name. "Though it's strange that people starts like that man all of a sudden."
"Orihara Izaya, he loves humans best!"
The entire slogan was even built around him. Some protestors were already gathering outside the President's house, throwing stink bombs and paint all over the walls. Even the message written 'Orihara Izaya 4EVER!' were written in bold, large and carefully.
Even Simon joined in the fun, carrying a sign that writes 'Russia Sushi for Izaya', walking with the wave of the crowd blindly.
At Yagiri Pharmaceuticals, Mika looked at her boyfriend with fear, but Seiji just hold her closer to him. Presenting a warm smile at his girlfriend, Mika did the same and rest on Seiji's chest.
"Don't worry; it'll be all over as soon as we knew it."
Celty and Shinra were watching the news updates as well in their apartment. While Celty was feeling rather worried about the current situation, the young underground doctor took everything in stride as if the situation has never happened. He poured some hot coffee into his cup; Celty meanwhile was typing a message angrily.
"How could you be so lax at this time? Don't you see what's happening all over Japan?"
"Oh don't worry, Celty. Everything's fine and will be all over as soon as it has started.
"It's been happening for almost 4 hours, how long are we going to wait?"
"Well, we have no power to do anything about this. All we can only do is wait. So just sit back and enjoy the show." Celty wanted to retort back, but since she has nothing she can change the situation as well, she sat back, while fuming over it.
"I wonder what made most of us acting like that all of a sudden…" Shinra was making any possible assumptions on the case, until he was interrupted by a sudden message coming from all channels, originating from all over the Japanese media. Izaya was seen and heard everywhere; every channel, every radio station and every internet websites all over Japan.
"Greetings, beloved humans from Japan!" Introduced Izaya, with the same mysterious grin appearing in every single channel showing. "I don't think I'll need any introductions, since everyone of you knew of what I am. I am Sun Tzu, William Shakespeare, I am everyone. "
The entire Japan cheered at his introductory speech with enthusiasm voluntarily. Erika, Walker and Togusa widened their eyes and wowed at Izaya's magnificent influence. Celty watched the television program, feeling so distressed that even the happy-go-lucky Shinra knew how she was feeling without mentioning a word. Shizuo, with Simon on his side grabbed a piece of pamphlet about the 'Magnificent and All-God Powerful Orihara Izaya'. The former tore it up into bits the moment he said that shameless bastard's face, while Simon went on caressing the quality of the pamphlet.
"That is why I should be President of Japan. I will help the weak, poor and disabled from this dirty and corrupted world. TODAY JAPAN, TOMORROW THE WORLD!"
Too late.
Mobs of angry protestors stormed themselves into the government's office, creating a serious riot out of the ministers, particularly at the President himself. No doubt that this will be shown on national television, most people have started cheering loudly once again.
It was complete chaos. Even the police could not stop the crowd from proceeding to the government's office.
"We're coming back live on Nippon 7 News. Based on President Orihara Izaya's rebellion against the previous president of Japan 3 days ago, we are going to ask fellow passersby on what they think of this strange phenomenon." The reporter approached Seiji Yagiri out of the crowd. "What do you think about Orihara Izaya as our new president of the Japan nation?"
"I obviously don't care, and I'll never will."
"Well, he's cool, and if his policies are effective, I don't think he will be kicked out of his position."
"D-don't look at me!"
"Russia Sushi is good. Try some sushi before you go."
"Ahh…Orihara Izaya. I know him, and he's a bit of a scumbag if you want to hear the darker side of him."
"He's dangerous, so far as I've know. I got to go, I have cram lessons later."
"Did you say Orihara Izaya? THAT Izaya? *Fangirl squeal* He's the cutest boy I've ever seen!"
"Wow, even an information broker can be a President? Does this mean an otaku can be one too?"
"Yay, I'm on television! HIIIIII!!!"
"Yeah, I know him. Manipulative, isn't he?"
"Why, why? Why not Ruri-chan?"
"Deadly, as far as I can say."
"Who is Orihara Izaya? Never heard of him."
"Him? Hmph. How could a madman possibly be the President of Japan? I think the people are blind to realize this."
"What really counts is that if he's capable of hearing the people's problems, I'm sure that he has the potential to lead the country the right way."
"Izaya? IZAYA? IZAYA?? IIIZZAAAYYYAAA?????? Damn you, you son of a ********, you**** *******."
And the camera was shred into bits no longer than two seconds later.
It was all a horrible dream.
A nightmare, to be exact.
"…you have the same dream as I had last night?" Mikado asked Kida and Anri as they made their way to school. Kida and Anri nodded in unison.
"It was strange, yet surreal. It was scary seeing his face almost everywhere all over Ikebukuro." Anri said, feeling a little timid at the situation.
"Well, let's forget that stupid dream and talk about something else…"
"What dream are you talking about?"
The three high school students suddenly stood silent as Heiwajima Shizuo soon approached them like a menacing wolf looking for its prey. Mikado and Kida take a few steps back from the always-violent guy while Anri stood aside from the man.
"So, did your dream involve that stupid flea as President of Japan?"
"How do you know? We had the same dream too!"
It was getting more and more peculiar by the minute. So far, all four of them were having the exact same dream last night and they bet that the phenomenon won't simply end like this. To test this strange dream of theirs, the four approached Kadota's gang in their usual corner, advertising various manga and light novel series as per normal.
"You guys have that dream too?"
"Oh god, must write story for the Sneakers' Award of the people we've met having the same dreams all at the same time…" Walker said, taking out his notepad and started scribbling his aformentioned ideas.
"Ok, I am getting ticked off about everything. Vote Izaya for President? Who would want that?" Kida asked, a little annoyed at the current situation they're in. The rest of the group of 8 raised their shoulders, speechless on what to say.
"You had that too?"
The headless foreigner gave a light nod. "It was more of a nightmare, seriously. And don't think I'm an idiot; saying about having the same dream is our affinity. I'm not buying into that."
"To tell you the truth, Celty, I think 'that' is the core of the entire mess we're in."
"'That'? Oh, that incident…" Celty thought for a moment before shaking Shinra profusely. "How DARE HE!?"
Last evening, Russia Sushi
"Awkward… who called us here?" Kida asked while getting himself seated round the table. Mikado, Kida, Anri, Kadota, Erika, Walker, Togusa, Shizuo, Mika, Shinra as well as Simon were in a separate room on their own. While Simon was serving his customers, a certain Dollars leader looked Seiji with intensity and fear while our resident otakus were playing with chopsticks (Fortunately they were stopped by Togusa, who eventually snatched their pair of chopsticks away from their fidgety hands.)
"Sushi is healthy. Eat now while it lasts."
"Sorry I'm late. I went to get a vaccination at a nearby hospital." The Dullahan apologized, taking her seat in between Shinra and Shizuo.
"She didn't trust me on injecting the vaccination."
"You did something that made her angry?"
"Of course not. She's my future wife after a---" Celty gave a firm karate chop at Shinra's chest, making him choke on his salmon roe.
"He deserves it."
"So anyone knows who contacted us to have dinner together?" Kadota asked, after munching on his first roll of sushi. Everyone else stared at each other faces' for a moment.
"Not me."
"Nuh-uh?"
"Perhaps this person wants us to have dinner together?" suggested Anri out of the blue.
"Why do that? But aside from that mystery, boy this sushi is good." Kida said as he dipped his 7th roll of sushi with soy sauce. "Yum."
"So…hungry…don't…want….to….stop……"
"So, that stupid bastard did it." Shizuo nodded his head, resisting his urge from beating the pulp out of Izaya while standing around the three amigos and Kadota's gang.
"W-w-what are you going to do?" asked Mikado, slowly taking a few steps back from the fuming man.
Shizuo pulled a lamppost out of its place, swinging it into action.
"BEAT HIM!"
The End
Well, there goes my second DRRR one-shot. Sorry I took long to complete this, and I do not have any intentions on continuing. Please don't bash me up to a pulp, hardcore Izaya fans. Please take the jokes as a grain of salt if you can't take jokes.
At last I can get this out of my chest. Been in a serious writer's block for the past few days and my busy schedule perhaps got in the way again. Now this is done, I can now concentrate on my remaining fics.
I've been thinking for quite some time, and I feel like stopping at chapter 10 of Anger Management would be the best option. Firstly, I'm running out of ideas and secondly, I'm lacking of encouragement to boost my morale. Lastly, I got to prepare for the re-opening of school and I have to say that this is my longest holiday I've ever experienced, more so than my friends. It's a lot like a roller-coaster ride and I have recently just completed watching episode 13. Seriously, what is up with Shinra's father anyway?
Pay close attention to my other fics. I'll post 'Who wants to be with the Dullahan' right after I'm done with Anger Management. Last and foremost, don't forget to review!
If you can guess who's being interviewed in the above conversation, you might get yourself a cookie. Good luck trying to find who's who. While some maybe extremely obvious, some of them are a bit of a mix here and there.